to say i can't attend this meeting about DS2s attendance?

[velvetspoon]

Letter received Monday evening asking me to attend a meeting at 1pm on Thursday.

I can't take a day off work with 48 hours notice. And it would have to be a full day due to timing of the meeting.

I replied to that effect, and asked for another day with at least 7 days notice but got a very snippy reply back saying it was a serious matter, and such meetings were important, etc, etc...

itsnot, I don't see any indication that the OP doesn't think it's a big deal or that it should be dealt with quickly. It's just that her job means that, quite reasonably, she can't take time off at 48 hours' notice.

I'm not convinced that some posters DO understand this. People are saying things like 'Go to the appointment and stop making excuses', 'if you do not take the time off ... you will be having meetings with welfare officers instead' and 'it also sounds like you are trying to avoid meeting them to discuss.'

She's not making excuses, she's not planning not to take the time off and she's not trying to avoid it.

People should read the fecking thread properly, is all I'm saying, before piling in with accusations.

I really don't have money to spare to pay for a housekeeper or similar, and I cant see how they will get him to go to school on the days when he says he feels ill but is possibly well enough to go, short of physically carrying him there.

When he's off sick he generally sleeps, occasionally reads or watches a bit of tv. He's not on his computer all day (I know because I check the internet usage if I'm not there).

I'm willing to attend the meeting. But if their strategy is going to be that I have to bring him to school every morning (knowing of a friend who was called in for a similar meeting for her DC albeit there were different reasons there for non attendance, and who was told they expected her to escort him to the school gate every day) we're not going to get very far.

tell them you need the LEA to arrange a taxi pick up.
As a working single parent you cannot be expected to escort him there every day.

Only - My reference to having to take time off to attend a meeting in office hours was in response to OP's request for a meeting after 5 p.m.

I think most of us have accepted that it was at short notice. We're beyond that. But, given it's with an outside agency, who would not be available after 5, and a teacher, who may well have other commitments, I think it's fair to suggest that OP, whose son this is, will have to be more flexible, no matter how important her job.

Of course you can! If timing is a problem, then talk to the school about arrangements for him to come in early. My neighbour had this with her ds when he was consistently late (she left for work before her ds needed to leave for school). After a couple of weeks of having to be taken to school half an hour early by mummy he suddenly managed to sort himself out.

A sibling of mine was late for school most days,a ttendance was good, just other things going on that meant a bad night sleep and difficult mornings. They started sending an education officer round to the house to pick up and walk right into school every morning. The embarrassment was enough to put a stop to the bad mornings, and it was sorted quickly.

well I dont know - not sure there are arrangements to drop off pupils over an hour early tbh. which is what my timings in that situation would have meant. It is a school not a creche for naughty teens.

OP- to hit 85% attendance, he would have had to have a lot more time off than that. About a day a week since September. Is he not going in on days when he's telling you he is, or have they got it wrong? Have you asked for a copy of his attendance record to check against your diary?

lol yes itsnotmeitsyou, since the EWO banged on our door one winter morning the kids have been much much better at getting their asses in gear.

That doesn't really add up, you list 7 occasions of specific illness plus some other days. 85% attendance is almost a day a week off.

My attendance was like that at school, I was on track for A grades but scraped by with Bs & Cs because I just couldn't catch up with the amount of work I missed. The more I was off the worse it got & the less I went in. It's not a good habit to take into adulthood!

but it is NOT reasonable to command single working parents to meetings at such short notice.
The problem is that if she does not attend, the meeting may well not go ahead. On one or two occasions it was arranged for someone to accompany my son when I could not or would not attend. What is the word, someone remind me? beginning with V?

anyway some kind of advocate

Sunny, it's amazing how teens can change an attitude within sixty seconds isn't it? 'I'm not bloody well ready yet, I can't go right now ', to 'oh hello Sir, yes my bag is right here, so sorry, goodbye dear family'. I wanted the education officer to move in with us .

oh I really fancy the EWO he is like one of the family.

Yes - BM.

Being a working single parent is difficult on occasion - I know from experience - but it doesn't trump meeting legal obligations re getting your child into school to be educated.

OP - it isn't what the school are going to do to get your child to school. It's what you are going to do. You have accepted that some of his absences are not justified. These are the ones they're worried about! But seem to have absolved yourself of any responsibility to remedy the situation.

If I were you, I'd try not to attend this meeting with the idea that the school is to blame. Their approach may be wrong. They need to talk to you to find out if it's making things worse. But don't pre-empt what they're going to say on the basis of your friend's experience.

you are the parent. he doesn't get to choose if/when he goes to school.
send the education officer round next time he takesa sickie. I assume the school notify you if he does not turn up?

85% attendance, to date allowing for holidays...is 3 weeks absent from school this year.

You've listed a week and one day of actual illnesses.That means that it's nearly a whole fortnight of school that he's not attended in case he felt ill.

It must be hard if you're at work by the time he should be leaving, but that is an awful lot of school to be missing.

the attendance figures could be skewed by lateness.
Any lateness after registration has closed is recorded as an absence.

So 5 days off out the approximate 17 he has had off are reasonable. What about the other 12 ish. I completely agree about the meeting. They can not expect a meeting at short notice. However I think this meeting will help. They will be able to help you. I know one situation where the attendance officer went round to ensure a child was at school, as the mother had to work. Its about working together to resolve the problem. Very few people have said the OP is unreasonable for nor cancelling work for the meeting. Most have agreed the meeting was badly planned.

Not in most schools it isn't, that's just late - arrived after morning registration and has a different code than absences.

tabulah I think you will find that you are wrong, it is recorded as an absense. Trust me I do know.

Well obviously at 13 they don't just let him go home when he says he feels ill, he would have to be collected by a parent. That's a daft thing for him to complain about. Most secondary school receptionists get to know the children who appear constantly at their desk asking to go home with the excuse they feel ill. My son was one of these. No school problems just lazy!
We all soon got the measure of him and he stopped trying.

Not in our school it isn't, Sunny-there's a different code. Maybe LEAs do it differently?

I guess they must do hak.
However in at least three LEAS to my knowledge the code is the same and so lateness skews the attendance figure.