aibu regarding icebreakers

[ovaryhill]

When you've to stand up and tell a bunch of strangers all about yourself and your background, oh and and tell a funny fact about yourself on a training course
Would I be unreasonable to say 'it's none of your bloody business, '?

Surely you can just say "I have a red toothbrush" or something equally mundane and get on with it?

YANBU I never remember anything that anyone else has said because I'm either waiting for my turn (and trying to decide if what I'm planning to say will be ok) or rerunning my turn in my head to check it was ok, loud enough etc.

We had these all the time. The person next to you had to memories and tell the room two things about you and so on and so on.

I used to make things up. Fully qualified clown, used to be a fire fighter ect

Name, job (presumably relatively relevant) and the fact that ice-breaking exercises make you cringe to the tips of your toes.

I'm a facilitator. I don't make people stand up. However, how do you get people to talk in the room? I mean, even the quieter people... We value everyone's experiences and if you don't break the ice, some people never talk. I do a 'parking lot' as well (board which people can stick questions on if they don't want to talk) but I bet you moan when you are at training and the same 3 people monopolise ALL the time.

I don't make people move around in a dance and drama fashion or do role-play.

It's excruciating! I don't want a bunch of random strangers knowing things about me, I want to be trained then go home, I'm more than able to speak if I choose to or approach people to chat, I cannot for the life of me see how any of the guff is relevant or helpful, it only serves to make the majority of people uncomfortable and self conscious!

Feed that back in your evaluation then.
I'd imagine that saying "It's none of your business" would make you even more conspicuous.

I might steal the fully qualified clown line though, I like that
I could also make up a pile of really outrageous stuff and then give my interesting fact about myself as being a compulsive liar

Or am I taking that too far?....

The best one I participated at asked everyone to say how they were feeling. The facilitator started by saying that he was tired after his weekend and was nervous and exciting about the training. and everyone pretty much followed suit describing how they felt and were surprisingly open.

I want to be trained then go home And part of adult education is using the wealth of knowledge in the room. The idea is that if we 'made' you talk once, with all the feelings, the next time you talk won't be so bad.

What if you get a kinesthetic leaner who is very quiet? They won't learn, because they won't be able to get through their shyness to move. What if the discussion is monopolised by the louder people? What if in lieu of talking to the group people choose to side-talk? All the fucking time.

Pretty much every person who is knowledgeable about adult ed. will tell you to do icebreakers.

I do try to make it relevant, non-judgmental and fun. Promise.

it annoys me that companies want us to sing, dance and jump through hoops for them just to show we are extroverted team players. end of the day I just want to go to work to get a job done and get paid end of the month. I dont want to take part in team building exercises, catch up meetings, etc. just let me get on with my job!

*learner. A leaner would be fine. Matthew McConaughey for example.

MrsTerryPratchett

Yes yes

Just stop being maungy OP

They're not about making you cringe, it's the trainers chance to find out about the group, who's talkative, shy, who is going to try and takeover, who they can look to to answer questions. As a trainer you glean so much from it. Even if its a bit cringy!

I hate hate hate them!
Once we had to introduce ourselves to as many people as we could and tell them something about us that happened at the weekend
So one person I told I had got engaged, another I had got married, divorce papers through, arrested loads of made up crap- I thought I was quite funny
Then we sat down and trainer asked if anyone had learnt anything exciting about anyone on the course, someone said yatalking got married and the other said oh I thought it was engaged all my made up shite came out- it did break the ice though!

OP YANBU in my opinion.

Lying seems the best option to me.

At one meeting with a lot of colleagues who didnt know each other we had to say name, grade and hobby. I managed to totally derail the meeting when I said mine as 2 of my bosses, who'd worked with me for 5 years, didnt know about my hobby (karate - Im a black belt) and couldnt stop talking about how they d never have guessed etc. im an introvert and did not like everyone staring at me. Next time I ll say reading...!

BTW as a facilitator, I am training you and in my head is running:

Is it too cold or hot in here.
Do some people look bored/triggered/angry
Is it too close to a break to fit this piece in
I need to remember what that person said about the next bit
Is my next speaker here
Did I order coffee for the next break
Who hasn't spoken recently
Am I losing anyone
Did I mention that thing
Have I told this story before to this group
Can I restructure this to fit in this other bit
Do they need this extra bit
Ouch I have a migraine, I need water
Have I addressed each learner's needs in this section
What time did I tell my childcare I was finished
Did I remember the gluten free option for that person

It's not bloody easy.

Last one I was at the facilitator asked for our most & least favourite words. That really got us all talking, laughing etc.

I hate ice breakers. Especially when you have a hugely long day and you spend half an hour going around the room learning that someone ran a marathon and someone has 12 cats. I want to go home sooner rather than later please!

Oh god I hate it. As I can feel my turn coming I start to get all stressed and hot.
By the time I am stood at the front I have forgotten my own name, which was a shame during the last one which was 'What is your name and do you like it?'.

As a trainer, I'm sure you know that learning styles theory is bollox.

I agree Eski, just get on with it so we can go home.

The trainer can find out who is talkative or who is shy without these icebreakers. By their very nature, shy and introvert people do not want to stand up and do public speaking in front of a group of strangers (or even in front of people they know) and do not want to be the centre of attention, so why do trainers put them through this painful and nerve wracking experience? leave people be!

Panzee what I think is that doing what the theory tells you to do stops people getting bored . If you use a little PowerPoint and a little demonstration and a little discussion, it cuts out the [blank] faces. IMO almost everyone needs to hear a bit, see a bit and do a bit. I don't have a PhD though so what would I know?