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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu regarding icebreakers

203 replies

ovaryhill · 16/03/2015 18:31

When you've to stand up and tell a bunch of strangers all about yourself and your background, oh and and tell a funny fact about yourself on a training course
Would I be unreasonable to say 'it's none of your bloody business, '?

OP posts:
redshoeblueshoe · 17/03/2015 23:23

I can't stand them, or role play. DH on the other hand has never been on one. He is due to go on one soon - should I warn him, or just let him see what joy they are for himself Grin

m0therofdragons · 17/03/2015 23:45

I'm not particularly shy but I'm also not funny. I once had to introduce myself and say something funny about me - I went blank and could only think of one funny thing I'd done but it was far too embarrassing to share so I mumbled something about not being funny and they moved on. Felt rubbish about myself and the impression I made for the rest of the day.

googlenut · 18/03/2015 03:03

Surely ice breakers are old hat now! I work in a FE setting and in a year do loads of training (as a participant) and there are never ice breakers. Occasionally just name and what you want to get out of the day to help the trainer make sure she helps everyone.
We all just want to get on with the training so that's what happens.

AlternativeTentacles · 18/03/2015 07:21

Realistically very little, but unfortunately it is compulsory for people at my level for reasons I totally fail to understand.'

But to a trainer that is golddust. It's about attitude. And knowing who has a bad one in the room.

You can see why much of teacher training is about behaviour management. Wink

Mmmicecream · 18/03/2015 07:47

I agree with what parking said up thread about how it's not a "safe" environment if you're with colleagues, not necessarily. I've been on plenty of courses with colleagues where little things that were talked about at a course in these kind of situations have come back to bite.

I wonder if that's why the best courses I've ever been on where ones where I didn't know or work with anyone else on them - I have done 2 fantastic ones where it was just me and a bunch of random strangers, and in a way them being strangers rather than colleagues made us all drop our guard more.

OTOH I'm still annoyed at the trainer at one course who kept insisting that my bird type was an owl rather than a dove, which I'd assessed myself as being. Even if he was right, I think it's rude to tell someone you've known for half a day what their personality type is

LadyRainicorn · 18/03/2015 08:04

Alternativetentacles yes, there it is, they are only supposed to be 'icebreakers' but you're judging judging judging and on stuff that's really nothing to do with work. Modern workplaces seem to demand evey facet of you, not just the bit you're paid to do.

AlternativeTentacles · 18/03/2015 08:09

but you're judging judging judging and on stuff that's really nothing to do with work.

But it has everything to do with how to manage a training session. If you cannot see how a training session can benefit you then take it up with your manager, don't take it out on the tutor.

IrenetheQuaint · 18/03/2015 08:13

Oh, I would never say that out loud, Tentacles! I am usually keen and willing at courses... but it is hard to repress the occasional internal eyeroll during some of them.

AlternativeTentacles · 18/03/2015 08:28

But you should do!

If that is the case then the tutor really needs to know!

If I do in house training I always ask 'who is here because they made you come?' And try to show that even in cases like this, you can learn something new.

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2015 08:34

'Bird type'? OMG I would have been Hmm

I have to say that even though I hated going on the courses and I did join in as far as was possible because it's a long, long day if you don't.

YY to inwardly eyerolling and thinking WTF, but wouldn't dream of saying anything during the course. A few constructive comments on the feedback form maybe.

Holepunch · 18/03/2015 08:46

I am reminded of an excruciating one a few years ago - not that long ago actually, I am astounded everyone in the room at appeared to think it was acceptable. Uncomfortable, yes, but no-one seemed to think it was OOO.

We all had to draw a pig. Then our pigs were "analysed". I forget how but it was things like a big snout makes you trustworthy, a forward facing pig is an extrovert, a side view is an introvert etc. Then the pictures were passed round to decide who had drawn the longest tail (me!) as the pig with the longest tail belongs to the person with the best sex life. How did anyone ever think that was OK?

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2015 08:54

I take it that was on a course when you were working for Ann Summers Hole? Confused

Holepunch · 18/03/2015 08:55

You'd think wouldn't you Sparkling. Major international bank and the people being trained were all fairly senior managers.

Elysianfields · 18/03/2015 08:56

The best role play I ever did was where actors came in and the group had to direct them. If you thought they were doing it wrong you said stop and then the group discussed the best way forward. It was perfect - the learning without the cringe. Even the biggest sceptics loved it.

The best icebreaker I had was where they put a pile of pictures cut out of magazines on the table and you had to find 2 or 3 to explain your mood or whatever and share why with the group. Somehow it was personal but the pictures distanced you from it a little so it was easier.

Just for the record I loathe and detest icebteakers and role play!

muminhants · 18/03/2015 09:06

Drawing things is excruciating for me - I said above that one icebreaker I did very recently was to draw something and to make it worse on paper on top of my head.

Last year we had to draw an elephant. Mine looked like a jellyfish...

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2015 09:11

Grin mum

We had a bank robbery and the police asked me to draw the gun. It didn't go well. Sad

parkingpearlclutching · 18/03/2015 09:23

Alternative - " a bad one in the room" - see this is why nobody trusts you! A bad one? Seriously? that is honestly how you see it, and we know that

funnyossity · 18/03/2015 09:28

I must remember to be totally fake then Alternative!

ilovesooty · 18/03/2015 09:35

Surely facilitators need some way of finding out who's come with a negative approach?

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2015 09:39

i think it's difficult because I guess nobody relishes the idea of going on these courses. if not in house, dragged away from your normal job for a day/week in a strange town, worrying about getting there and back, finding the place etc, then being lumped together with strangers.
I think it's hard to not be negative. Sad

redshoeblueshoe · 18/03/2015 09:43

Why sooty ? Isn't that their managers problem. I do enjoy training courses just not the ice breakers and role play. I have done tons of training courses and none of them have been ruined by the attitude or behaviour of the attendants.

parkingpearlclutching · 18/03/2015 09:49

sooty, a decent trainer would be asking themselves "who is already feeling positive about today, who less so for whatever reasons that perhaps I can find out, and mitigate to some extent?" not "aha! There's a BAD ONE"

AlmaMartyr · 18/03/2015 10:02

You can't tell a huge amount though surely - I have a very negative attitude towards icebreakers because they are (literally) one of my nightmares but I love training and learning. To write me off as having a bad attitude because I'm shy in that situation would be immensely unfair. Equally, I might be shy about icebreakers, and I am generally introverted but it doesn't mean I need assertiveness training. I'm a good communicator, have worked in plenty of customer facing roles (and am very good at them!), can deliver presentations, have done drama and debate groups etc. I can be very assertive but I hate being judged on how "funny" or "interesting" I can be on the spur of the moment. If I actually said 'Hi, I'm Alma and I'm afraid there's nothing interesting about me' then I'd feel awful about myself, and the impression I'd made. I'd be written off as having a bad attitude or needing help being assertive as well as having had to admit to one of my biggest fears, that I am in fact quite boring (I don't really think I am but I worry about it).

I've done loads of fab training courses but most of them haven't relied on icebreakers. One of the best was 'boat building' where we got split into teams and had to construct a boat that could float with some basic raw materials. It was good because you could participate as much or as little as you liked and as I got to know my team I warmed up and felt happy joining in. Ours sank immediately but it was fun and I got to know the people in my team. That was obviously quite involved though so not practical for most situations.

FreudiansSlipper · 18/03/2015 10:21

I had a lot if these ice breakers in my first year of counselling training some were utter wank (holding pebbles and exploring what cones to mind Hmm )others a good way to explore how we see ourselves

Thankfully none of this training carried over to university

At times I am sure they are useful but being able to talk in front of a group is not a necessity in life to becoming successful especially being able to talk about yourself and should never be forced on someone

I facilitate a group it's a therapy group no one is forced to talk but gently encouraged hardest is to manage those who want to dominate the group

funnyossity · 18/03/2015 10:24

Yes, I find the dominators far more annoying than any other type.