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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

feeling disappointed

303 replies

dragonfly007 · 15/03/2015 08:35

So it's mothers day, I have 2 ds aged 4 & 6. Both super excited by mothers day, ds2 is an early riser so I have been awake since 5am with dad repeatedly returning him to his bed. At6.30 ds1 woke wanting a drink, so I get up and the boys are super excited wanting pancakes, so I write down the receipe and 15 mins later I am brought a cup of tea in bed (complete with sugar, which I don't have in tea), 3 undercooked pancakes resembling mush , instructions state makes 8 little ones (any bigger and they don't cook hence mush delivered) mix of strawberries, blueberries and raspberries not quite ripe. The breakfast has been accompanied with a variety of cards made at school and a card the eldest choose whilst shopping 2 weeks ago. That's it.

Dh doesn't get I might be a tad upset, no small gift, flower nothing. Apparently he plans to go out a buy something later even though he had all afternoon yesterday to pick something up.

Yesterday dh woke and got up at 9:30 whilst I occupied kids downstairs quietly.

I feel upset that there appears little thought and consideration appreciating me. This is my first mothers day where we have not entertained our parents and cooked dinner. I have prepared dinner, the meat is already on as I have considered all of this beforehand. He doesn't get why I might be upset after all I am not his mother, but I have tried explaining that he is setting the standard for the boys.

We are not agreeing and ultimately I am really upset by the lack of effort, please post your thoughts aibu?

OP posts:
BernadetteMatthews · 15/03/2015 10:09

Go and give your head a wobble.

ihave2naughtydogs · 15/03/2015 10:10

YABVU. Poor kids so excited and getting up early to make you a special breakfast.And you on mumsnet moaning.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 15/03/2015 10:12

It's 10am OP. Your DH still has the whole day to talk to your children about all the things you do for them. Maybe he did it while they were making breakfast. Maybe he does it throughout the year.

Thurlow · 15/03/2015 10:12

whilst my children are young I feel it's important that they recognise all the lovely things I do as a parent and its the one time that dad really needs to step up.

And there is so much wrong with this sentence I haven't even got the strength in me to go into it...

It's Mothers Day. Get off MN and go enjoy it with your kids, who are obviously excited by the day.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 15/03/2015 10:13

Me either Thurlow Smile. No ironing in this house and DH does the cooking!

Lydiand · 15/03/2015 10:13

Your children sound lovely and you did get a shop bought card as well as hand made ones. Have a lovely day, Mother's day is actually about your children's happiness really, because that's what makes you a good mother.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 15/03/2015 10:13

I thought the moaning/disappointed threads about Mother's Day may have only started appearing later on so well done on having one of the first

And YABU

Bowlersarm · 15/03/2015 10:13

Really OP? Your second post makes you seem even more moany and ungrateful.

Give your kids a hug, thank them very much for your lovely breakfast and cards, and apologise for being such a grumpy mummy on Mothers Day.

Thurlow · 15/03/2015 10:14

Exactly the same here, GotToBe - Father's Day definitely deserves more of a fuss in this house that Mother's Day Grin

AnnieMoor · 15/03/2015 10:14

I think you're being a tad unreasonable. Your children are excited and have made an effort, which is what matters.

Don't make this about your dh being a bit crap.

ClumsyNinja · 15/03/2015 10:15

Op, seriously, do you see yourself still married in a years time? Cut him some slack here. He sounds a lovely bloke.

I think your expectations of your DH's role in getting small kids to appreciate what you do for them is totally unrealistic.

In fact, most of us don't truly appreciate what our mothers do for us until we have kids ourselves and/or when they die.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 15/03/2015 10:16

I quickly came to the conclusion that Mother's Day is not so much about mums but a chance for children to show their love and appreciation to the mums, in any small way that makes them feel they have done this.

I understand that you are upset with your DH but I would focus on your lovely children and letting them know how well they did

MatildaV · 15/03/2015 10:17

it's important that they recognise all the lovely things I do

LOL.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 15/03/2015 10:18

In my experience no-one needed to teach the kids about the lovely things I did for them when they were small, they figured it out for themselves as they grew up.

Bearfrills · 15/03/2015 10:19

Mine think I tidy up for fun and that my hobbies include weeing, laundry, bouncing, and hoovering.

They're too young at the minute to understand the things you do, that comes as they get older but even then I don't think they fully appreciate how much is done for them until they have a home and/or family of their own. I certainly didn't realise how much went into running a house or how much my mum did for me until I left home and had to do it all for myself. Engaging them in a conversation about it won't do much to change that.

Cornettoninja · 15/03/2015 10:20

But of a backhanded compliment to say how lovely your breakfast was and then list off everything that was shit about it.

Your husband is not your father and your kids are not you. Why on earth would they stand around you conversing about everything you do like some sort of school project?

If you need praise to get on with those sorts of tasks just don't bother doing them. The things you want medals for are things parents do. I'm sure your sons will look back and properly appreciate it in the future at the moment they just love you because they have no concept of daily drudge - they're children ffs! You can't force sincere appreciation.

If you have issues with your husband taking you for granted may i suggest that Mother's Day is not the time to bring it up.

ImperfectAlf · 15/03/2015 10:21

Thanks, Bear, that made me snort my coffee!

I remember those days well. My two are adults now, and It's not the same. Lovely, but not the same.

Enjoy it while you can....your DH will never get it, but you can teach your dcs. Oh and YABU.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/03/2015 10:21

GrinGrinGrin

Chin up OP and enjoy the rest of your day, sulking isn't a good look.

Ubik1 · 15/03/2015 10:21

I had some unsalted scrambled eggs on soggy bread and a cup of tea delivered by my three Grin I also got a charity shop necklace and various home made cards.

I am now listening to DP arguing with the girls over sorting out the washing. We are going to a cafe later.

I'm very happy.

Last year I spent Mothers Day sleeping off a night shift. The year before I was working a 10
Hour shift.
It's lovely to be in bed with a cup if tea listening to my family.Smile

But Cake and Brew and Flowers to a the mothers working today.

Nanny0gg · 15/03/2015 10:23

You are joking, aren't you?

No?

Oh. Sad

Royalsighness · 15/03/2015 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 15/03/2015 10:27

Justuse I think it's entirely appropriate! Grin

awfulomission · 15/03/2015 10:28

I know Nanny I thought this was a wind up. But it seems it's real!

Well... where to start.

Get off MN and give them all a cuddle and enjoy the rest of the day, whatever day it is.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 15/03/2015 10:30

Oh OP. You are bringing back childhood memories of excitedly making breakfast for my mum and having her criticise and complain and sulk because it wasn't good enough. I do hope you're moaning on MN only,not to your family.
But do tell your dh that you want a proper lie in next weekend

Original poster
dragonfly007 · 15/03/2015 10:31

Sorry if you think I am vile Wine

I expect a treat twice a year, this is one of them. It doesn't need to be much, just thoughtful and my dc are to young to initiate the day.

Off to play, after all it is just another Sunday and that includes parks, games, dinner and jobs!

Biscuit
OP posts: