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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

feeling disappointed

303 replies

dragonfly007 · 15/03/2015 08:35

So it's mothers day, I have 2 ds aged 4 & 6. Both super excited by mothers day, ds2 is an early riser so I have been awake since 5am with dad repeatedly returning him to his bed. At6.30 ds1 woke wanting a drink, so I get up and the boys are super excited wanting pancakes, so I write down the receipe and 15 mins later I am brought a cup of tea in bed (complete with sugar, which I don't have in tea), 3 undercooked pancakes resembling mush , instructions state makes 8 little ones (any bigger and they don't cook hence mush delivered) mix of strawberries, blueberries and raspberries not quite ripe. The breakfast has been accompanied with a variety of cards made at school and a card the eldest choose whilst shopping 2 weeks ago. That's it.

Dh doesn't get I might be a tad upset, no small gift, flower nothing. Apparently he plans to go out a buy something later even though he had all afternoon yesterday to pick something up.

Yesterday dh woke and got up at 9:30 whilst I occupied kids downstairs quietly.

I feel upset that there appears little thought and consideration appreciating me. This is my first mothers day where we have not entertained our parents and cooked dinner. I have prepared dinner, the meat is already on as I have considered all of this beforehand. He doesn't get why I might be upset after all I am not his mother, but I have tried explaining that he is setting the standard for the boys.

We are not agreeing and ultimately I am really upset by the lack of effort, please post your thoughts aibu?

OP posts:
Marshy · 15/03/2015 10:32

My 19 yo dd sent me a card from uni saying "you are the strongest, loveliest, most caring woman I know and I hope to follow your example"

Would you be happy for your dc to be following your example today op?

I'm not sure the description is accurate btw but it made me very happy!

MorrisZapp · 15/03/2015 10:32

I've reported the 'bloody vile' comment. That's a horrible thing to say about somebody having an anonymous moan. Get some perspective.

Original poster
dragonfly007 · 15/03/2015 10:32

Ps I am moaning on here as my boys are super excited having just been to collect a potted plant from Morrison's Flowers

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 15/03/2015 10:33

Oh dear Grin

silveroldie2 · 15/03/2015 10:33

You sound fucking ungrateful. I couldn't have children so have never received a Mother's Day card, bought or homemade, no-one ever made my breakfast or cup of tea or bought me flowers.

Maybe you'll get nothing next year then you'll really have something to cry about.

Original poster
dragonfly007 · 15/03/2015 10:33

Marshy - perfect :-)

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 15/03/2015 10:33

My 18 yo DS has just made me cry with the words he wrote in my card. He has bought me a present and some daffodils on behalf of him and DS1 and made me breakfast in bed. DS1 is not here. He has been living in a hole all week and wasn't safe to drive the 4.5 hours home on Friday.

When they were little I got handmade cards and breakfast in bed. That is what Mothers Day should be about, imo. What your little ones have done sounds perfect. It will mean a lot to them and they will be proud of themselves, don't spoil it.

Unescorted · 15/03/2015 10:34

Dragonfly I feel for you. Mothers Day should be renamed "the one day in the whole sodding year where I don't have to coordinate the family day". You have had a bit of a pasting on the thread - possibly because we (certainly me) are thinking pancakes with 3 of my 5 a day just is soooo not going to happen, and therefore we are thankful when the small gestures (however badly executed) are there.

Mothers Day is over hyped - and really don't believe what people tell you when they say they got. I know my burnt toast and cold milky tea served at 1 this afternoon, after I have been out to the supermarket and put all the shopping away will have morphed into a perfect lie in / breakfast in bed combo by the time I tell people about it tomorrow. They tried, they were thinking of you and they love you - you have done a wonderful job as a parent to get this.

Original poster
dragonfly007 · 15/03/2015 10:34

Silveroldie - I am sorry !

OP posts:
Bearfrills · 15/03/2015 10:35

But they have been thoughtful, they made you breakfast in bed and cards.

What exactly did you want?

You sound really grumpy and ungrateful about it all, I think you've had an unrealistic expectation of the day and I feel bad that your children's efforts have meant so little to you.

Playthegameout · 15/03/2015 10:35

I hope you've hidden your disappointment from your children. How sad that their efforts weren't up to your standards.

Ubik1 · 15/03/2015 10:36

It's more for the children than you TBH.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/03/2015 10:36

The 'bloody vile' comment was uncalled for, it says more about you Royalsighness than the OP.

Floggingmolly · 15/03/2015 10:38

Oh, don't be so silly. Why on earth were your children "super excited" about Mothers Day?? I can only assume you've been building them up to something the poor divils couldn't possibly have delivered...

msgrinch · 15/03/2015 10:39

yabu. You sound vile, your poor family. I'm on my own for mothers day because my son wanted to go to his cousins birthday, doesn't bother me as I know he's happy.

You need to get a grip big time.

Bearfrills · 15/03/2015 10:39

The vile comment was extreme. I'm sure you're a lovely mother dragonfly, but really don't get bogged down in the glorified expectation of mothers day. Relax a bit, your children obviously love you and that's a beautiful thing.

adora1985 · 15/03/2015 10:41

YABU, I hope you didn't show your children that you were so disappointed with the effort they had gone to. It's easy to take for granted what you have, everyone does at some point, but you have two thoughtful children who clearly love their mum, it's a lot more than a lot of people have today.

MrsCosmopilite · 15/03/2015 10:41

Ah, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Fathers Day - in my mind nothing more than a marketing trick to make people feel guilty. For those who have lost parents, it's nothing more than a horrible reminder of that.

I got a cup of tea in bed from DH and a half hour lie in. This happens about every week. DD made me a card and a gift, and put a lot of effort into it (she's 4). I said my thankyous. DH is now at work. The day goes on. There is still washing to do, beds to make, hoovering to be done, food to be cooked. Get on with it, and get over it.

MNHQ
TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 15/03/2015 10:42

Peace and love MNers

Bearfrills · 15/03/2015 10:42

Floggingmolly, my 5yo has been super excited for today too. They've made cards at school, there's been adverts on TV, adverts in shops and on the radio, themed window displays in lots of the local shops and so on. His excitement has passed to 3yo DD and they were buzzing last night and this morning.

notsolovely · 15/03/2015 10:44

Saying breakfast was thoughtful even though it was rubbish is not appreciation.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 15/03/2015 10:44

Your post at 10.03 doesn't half back peddle OP, after your initial moaning about how wretched everything was for you.

YABU.

verbeier · 15/03/2015 10:44

I received two lovely handmade cards from my very excited two DC. I was very pleased and proud of them. I can't abide wasteful presents. I didn't get a lie in as my DD is going through a clingy phase and started poking my eyes at 6am. I'm not fussed, and LOVE the cards.

Lagoonablue · 15/03/2015 10:45

YABU. MD is just yet another marketing festival now. Be happy for the cards! I don't expect anything else but a handmade card and just don't see the point of expecting an over priced bouquet!

MumRaah · 15/03/2015 10:46

Get a grip OP.
You sound spoilt and preciousHmm

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