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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

feeling disappointed

303 replies

dragonfly007 · 15/03/2015 08:35

So it's mothers day, I have 2 ds aged 4 & 6. Both super excited by mothers day, ds2 is an early riser so I have been awake since 5am with dad repeatedly returning him to his bed. At6.30 ds1 woke wanting a drink, so I get up and the boys are super excited wanting pancakes, so I write down the receipe and 15 mins later I am brought a cup of tea in bed (complete with sugar, which I don't have in tea), 3 undercooked pancakes resembling mush , instructions state makes 8 little ones (any bigger and they don't cook hence mush delivered) mix of strawberries, blueberries and raspberries not quite ripe. The breakfast has been accompanied with a variety of cards made at school and a card the eldest choose whilst shopping 2 weeks ago. That's it.

Dh doesn't get I might be a tad upset, no small gift, flower nothing. Apparently he plans to go out a buy something later even though he had all afternoon yesterday to pick something up.

Yesterday dh woke and got up at 9:30 whilst I occupied kids downstairs quietly.

I feel upset that there appears little thought and consideration appreciating me. This is my first mothers day where we have not entertained our parents and cooked dinner. I have prepared dinner, the meat is already on as I have considered all of this beforehand. He doesn't get why I might be upset after all I am not his mother, but I have tried explaining that he is setting the standard for the boys.

We are not agreeing and ultimately I am really upset by the lack of effort, please post your thoughts aibu?

OP posts:
Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 15/03/2015 08:47

I'm sorry but YABVVU. Another thread moaning about the disappointment of Mothers Day. Please think yourself lucky that you have your children. Some others do not.

Spatial · 15/03/2015 08:47

...although just re read your OP and they have made you cards and breakfast!

Erm, how can I say this? That is lovely. So what if it's not gourmet and there are spelling mistakes? Surely that isn't the point??!

notsolovely · 15/03/2015 08:48

Is it just me that thinks mothers day is not a huge deal? My 2 have made me a card and DH is still in bed, I slept in yesterday. Thats it. We are out soon to a birthday lunch. So not really doing anything. My youngest is sat insisting mothers day was friday and not today as that when he made and gave me his card. I have 2 healthy and (generally) happy kids and a good husband, I am happy.

thoughtsbecomethings · 15/03/2015 08:49

My Dc are 13 & 17 and over the years if many Mother's Day I have realised to have little expectations and cherish even the smallest gesture. It makes me mad when on things like FB u see all the lavish gifts other mums receive. To me it's the little things that count.
Happy Mother's Day x

calmexterior · 15/03/2015 08:50

YABU

Next time check yourself into a hotel if you don't want the young kid stuff.

glenthebattleostrich · 15/03/2015 08:50

Nope , not at all

Even without it being mothers day, it was your lie in so he should've been up entertaining the kids.

Your kids are to young to sort mothers day themselves so of course he should be making an effort.

fuctifino · 15/03/2015 08:50

Yabu. A mushy breakfast is one to remind them of when they're older and they have tried.

Sparklingbrook · 15/03/2015 08:51

Mothers Day is just another day. I bought my own present to save my teens the bother.

The best present for me would be for them not to bicker all day and DS1 do some revision. Smile

People have very high expectations. Confused

Purplepoodle · 15/03/2015 08:51

Omg so it's not perfect. You have set yourself up way too much. They tried and you got cards, it's lovely the fact that breakfast wasn't perfect makes it all the more memorable.

Accept the small things, it's only a day. Everyday my boys show they love me. That's more special than a lie in ect.

Plus there's always the revenge for Father's Day.

TheHoundsBitch · 15/03/2015 08:52

You sound like a spoilt brat tbh.

Purplepoodle · 15/03/2015 08:53

Next year get him too buy ready made pancakes - less likely to go wrong lol

Enigmatist · 15/03/2015 08:53

Lolz Grin

Unescorted · 15/03/2015 08:54

I thought everyone got woken up with a really crap breakfast and a bomb site of a kitchen to clean on Mothers Day. Hand made cards and tat from the pound shop are also top ranking mothers day gifts.

Personally I find it a bit odd when my husband gives me a gift.... I am not his mother after all. His mum is going to be a little let down when she realises that he has forgotten.

MatildaV · 15/03/2015 08:54

Forget about presents and just get out of bed, put a smile on your face and do something nice with your children. Otherwise, the "standard" that you are setting for your children is mummy being a pissed off, entitled brat.

thenextday · 15/03/2015 08:56

You sound a bit of a martyr.

IsabellaofFrance · 15/03/2015 08:56

Some high expectations in your house OP. Your children tried their best.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/03/2015 08:57

Yup, you are unreasonable.

Sparklingbrook · 15/03/2015 08:58

Breakfast in bed is rubbish anyway. Never understood how it was a treat. Grin

EveBoswell · 15/03/2015 08:58

YABU, OP. your lovely little DCs made cards and cooked breakfast (probably with help) for you. They did it for you. Why you are moaning about your husband beats me. You are not his mother, are you?

TyrannosaurusBex · 15/03/2015 08:58

I haven't had cards from my three, and DD1 left the daffodils she picked at her friend's house. But they are making me breakfast (cereal, juice and toast, there's no point in setting them up for failure!) and I'm happy with that. I used to hope for home-made cards and thoughtful gifts and to be taken out for lunch, but this is fine. I'm happy.

Your children are doing their best, your DH is not.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 15/03/2015 08:59

"Not quite ripe" , you sound spoilt . Your poor DSs .

Mrsderekshepard · 15/03/2015 08:59

Yabu enjoy what you have and stop being precious

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/03/2015 08:59

but I have tried explaining that he is setting the standard for the boys

Grin
Mrscaindingle · 15/03/2015 08:59

I think you need to lower your expectations a bit and try and appreciate what
you do have. Badly made breakfasts are one of the things my mum remembers most fondly about mothers days gone by.

Myself I had cold toast and insipid tea with melted chocolate biscuits in the saucer given to me by my 11 year old Smile The 14 year old has yet to get up but I'm sure he will have got something having not bothered his arse last year.

I am much happier with the fact I get to laze in bed with a cup of tea while DS2 sees to the dog than any present he could get me.

Thudercatsrule · 15/03/2015 09:01

At least you got breakfast!

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