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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or was this mum deeply unpleasant and really quite weird?

155 replies

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 12/03/2015 18:35

When I collected DS from nursery just now, there was a large car parked directly in front of the door. It's a very small car park, so because of where this car was, it was also blocking the exit and halfway in the 'best' parking space (i.e. the one closest the door, which people usually go for first).

If it had been a one-off, I would have let it go. But both DH and I have noted that this same woman has parked similarly inconsiderately on a number of occasions. A couple of weeks ago, she parked blocking the entrance when the car park was actually empty, so I had to park on the road in the middle of a huge puddle.

When I got out of my car, she was already driving off so I just sort of frowned in her general direction. DH and I had talked before about asking nursery staff to have a polite word with her, so I decided to say something. As I was talking to the staff member, I heard this shouting outside and this woman came storming back over and shouted at me:

"No, I saw you giving me a filthy look, if you've got something to say you can say it to my face!"

I started to explain, and she shouted me down and said (again quite aggressively) that she hadn't bothered to park properly because she thought she would be the last one there.

I said that actually, her parking had caused problems in the past as well. She then leaned in towards me and shouted

"EXCUSE ME! MY SISTER IN LAW IS RIDDLED WITH CANCER SO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE!"

Then she walked off.

I swear, this is absolutely true. I'm not missing anything out. The conversation literally went from: "Er, well, actually..." to "CANCER!"

How on earth do I deal with this woman next time I see her?

OP posts:
Humansatnav · 12/03/2015 18:37

The nursery should be dealing with her.

OwlinaTree · 12/03/2015 18:38

Wow, I'd be avoiding at all costs. I'd rather park on the road than deal with that again.

TheFecklessFairy · 12/03/2015 18:39

She's obviously not a very happy bunny, is she?

maudpringles · 12/03/2015 18:40

Block her in.

coolaschmoola · 12/03/2015 18:41

So you gave someone a dirty look, then went to talk about them and she gave you a gobful.

Tbh I think giving people dirty looks is appalling behaviour. You could quite easily have spoken to the staff without giving out passive aggressive frowns.

All of that aside you aren't the car park police and I'm astounded that you and your Dh would discuss this because frankly it's a bit lot petty (like the dirty look you flung her).

jetsetlil · 12/03/2015 18:42

she sounds absolutely deranged. Steer clear of her. Maybe when she calms down she will realise what an idiot she made of herself.

zippey · 12/03/2015 18:42

If the nursery staff member witnessed that outburst then hopefully they will deal with her.

professornangnang · 12/03/2015 18:43

What a nutter

TheWitTank · 12/03/2015 18:44

Just ignore her next time you see her. She's one of those people who whips out random reasons to excuse their bad behaviour (I.e. I'm not racist (after clearly racist remark) because my cousin/sisters husbands friend etc. Is black!). It's terrible that her sil has cancer of course. Awful. But fuck all to do with her inconsiderate parking.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 12/03/2015 18:44

I'm thinking of all these parting shots now Sad It was just such a total non-sequitur that I could only goggle at her.

The staff member said that other parents had complained too, and they would be putting a sign on the door reminding parents to be considerate about parking. Would kind of like to ask them to have a general word with her too, along the lines of calm the fuck down, but don't want to wind her up even more...

OP posts:
QueenBean · 12/03/2015 18:45

She sounds like a cow, but honestly, she's probably having a really hard time right now and possibly just got her on a bad day. For you, an inconvenience. For her, literally not even a thing that registers on her radar and she's pissed off to have been brought up on it

You weren't being unreasonable, but id be a bit compassionate and just brush it off. The nursery should deal with future parking and if you see her in the future, she'll likely be quite embarrassed about what's happened, you haven't done anything wrong but equally, don't make this in to a bigger thing than it needs to be

SueChef · 12/03/2015 18:45

Look lady, she is actually married to someone who is related to someone who has cancer .

Clearly she can park wherever the fuck she likes so YABVU

youarekiddingme · 12/03/2015 18:46

i agree leave it to nursery staff. She clearly is stressed and so o don't think your going to get a reasoned conversation with her atm.

jetsetlil · 12/03/2015 18:46

COOLASCHMOOLA..she didn't say she gave her a dirty look, she said she frowned in her general direction. The fact that she overreacted like she did suggests she knows she is out of order

pictish · 12/03/2015 18:46

Gosh a feisty one she is! Look, she's bonkers, aggressive and got a gob on her, as well as not being very sharp.
I'd just avoid her completely.

What did the staff member say?! Shock

ChickenMe · 12/03/2015 18:47

A bit of a bully not to mention unhinged.

obeliaboo · 12/03/2015 18:48

Wow, she's a joy :S avoid and stand your ground, what a nasty attitude.
If her sister has cancer, that is horrendous and unfortunate but no excuse for her behaviour, let the nursery deal with her.

ImperialBlether · 12/03/2015 18:50

I'd be worried about how safely she was driving, if she was in that much of a temper.

CelibacyCakeAndElevatorMuzac · 12/03/2015 18:51

I think Coola is actually rant woman.

Anybody else read "frowned in her general direction" in a faux French accent a la Monty Python? Grin

Flywheel · 12/03/2015 18:53

I'd have given her a dirty look too.
Selfish people like that just don't give a shit. My dd went to a special nursery, with many of the kids in wheelchairs / special buggies. The same woman, regularly used to park up on the path at the entrance not leaving space for wheelchairs. You would have to walk out onto the busy road to get around her. I complained every time and the nursery handled it. Eventually.
Leave it to the nursery. Complain every time and don't engage with her at all.

Pagwatch · 12/03/2015 18:57

My sister died of cancer. No one told me it meant I could park badly. I would have definitely badly parked the shit out of last year.

The80sweregreat · 12/03/2015 18:58

I would be mortified. She knows shes in the wrong and using an unrelated family crisis to excuse herself. Your not being unreasonable, she is. Let the nursery staff deal with it. I would be avoiding her if it was me, although thats not easy to do if your all dropping off at the same time.

QueenBean · 12/03/2015 18:59

Pagwatch so sorry to hear that Flowers

Pagwatch · 12/03/2015 19:01

Oh thanks QueenBean. you are kind.

AliceLidlLovesWindlePoons · 12/03/2015 19:02

She's one of those people who likes to shut down any conversation that doesn't suit her.