AIBU or was this mum deeply unpleasant and really quite weird?

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

When I collected DS from nursery just now, there was a large car parked directly in front of the door. It's a very small car park, so because of where this car was, it was also blocking the exit and halfway in the 'best' parking space (i.e. the one closest the door, which people usually go for first).

If it had been a one-off, I would have let it go. But both DH and I have noted that this same woman has parked similarly inconsiderately on a number of occasions. A couple of weeks ago, she parked blocking the entrance when the car park was actually empty, so I had to park on the road in the middle of a huge puddle.

When I got out of my car, she was already driving off so I just sort of frowned in her general direction. DH and I had talked before about asking nursery staff to have a polite word with her, so I decided to say something. As I was talking to the staff member, I heard this shouting outside and this woman came storming back over and shouted at me:

"No, I saw you giving me a filthy look, if you've got something to say you can say it to my face!"

I started to explain, and she shouted me down and said (again quite aggressively) that she hadn't bothered to park properly because she thought she would be the last one there.

I said that actually, her parking had caused problems in the past as well. She then leaned in towards me and shouted

"EXCUSE ME! MY SISTER IN LAW IS RIDDLED WITH CANCER SO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE!"

Then she walked off.

I swear, this is absolutely true. I'm not missing anything out. The conversation literally went from: "Er, well, actually..." to "CANCER!"

How on earth do I deal with this woman next time I see her?

Why bother with international diplomacy when there are creme eggs in the shops?

Could this why Jeremy Clarkson got so stroppy, simply because there were no creme eggs on set? Who could possibly blame him for losing the rag under such extreme provocation?

Actually, I think OP should carry a creme egg at all times, just in case she encounters crap Parker again. Then she can proffer it with a cheery smile. No words needed.

Could this be a whole new marketing strategy for Cadburys?

sisters of Percy - must go and hunt out that thread now!

My dad has cancer but that does not mean I have an excuse to be incosiderate towards others

You were definitely not unreasonable. My mum suffering from cancer (for the third and final time) made me less likely to park like a twat, I'm more aware of invisible disabilities.

I really want a creme egg now...

A lovely and supportive thread, in both humour and the posts about people's lives,

I love the cream egg vibe

Op, I am digging splinters from my arse here but in the end I'd go with the upper hand/gifting chocolate view. If she chills then alls good, if not then id just ignore her and keep telling the staff or put bread crumbs on her car (bird poo can be a pain to wash off).

Well people have patterns of behaviour (for everything, not just being asked to be more considerate and park in a space not just where she fancies). Hers is to go shouty and aggressive and dredge up an excuse to get people to back off. A calm rebuttal would probably work. She is probably used to total backing off . Depends if you want to try - i have on receiving that, it took a few calm rebuttals and the shouty person gave up but it was a battle! I wouldnt normally but i dont see why OAP's pushing in is ok cos they are elderly!!!

Pictish - I hope op doesn't live in a small place. For me I would have to see that woman twice a day for the next ten years. You need international diplomacy here. You have to speak to them at some time or another whether you like them or not.

You don't have to speak to them if your mouth is stuffed with a whole creme egg. Because it's rude to speak with your mouth full.

And unless OP and parking cow live in different countries, plain old diplomacy will work just fine. With the starting point being not parking like an inconsiderate prat and then flying off the handle when others look askance at your stupidity. Being diplomatic doesn't mean being a doormat or putting up with outrageous behaviour without a murmur.

I gave the lady in the sewing repair shop a creme egg last week when she quickly patched up my zip on my coat. She looked pleased... I should add that I had paid her £15 only the day before and popped back in as her first attempt hadn't quite worked.

I happened to have one in my coat pocket so it was a spontaneous gesture. Normally I pay with real money...

I might suggest a creme egg in the marshmallow-banned-from-lunchbox thread.

It's a good compromise on the tipping thread between the decent tippers and the stingy differently-thinking non-tippers.

In future we should just all leave cream eggs as tips.

She's a nutter who's spoiling for a fight.

Normal people don't play the cancer card over parking.

Well said Saucy
(proffers creme egg)

My oh was critically ill in hospital last Xmas ....who knew that not only could I have parked where I liked instead or circling the hospital car park like a mad woman but been rude and shouty too.

I didn't get a single creme egg. I feel robbed.

Creme eggs have been ruined by the ruddy yanks anyway so throw em all at rude people I say!

Who knows if there even is a SIL suffering with cancer? Bad taste to refer to her if she does exist, even poorer taste if she doesn't. No creme egg.

My grandpa died of stroke 20 years ago, can I park like a twunt as well?

In my defence I am not shout parking woman I am a very considerate parker, particularly at nursery as space is very limited.

I'm still a bit at 'sort of frown' that wasn't a dirty look. That non dirty look was enough to make the woman who was already driving away, according to the op, stop, Park her car, get out and storm back into nursery yelling about a filthy look....

For a 'sort of frown'? That was seen through the window of a moving car? I'd bet it was a full on stinkeye.

I'm not saying she wasn't massively in the wrong, of course she was. I'm saying that I think the op handled it badly. There was no need for any 'look' - go in, quiet word with staff, job done. Situation well handled.

Or... See something that you don't like, give stinkeye, woman comes to find out what 'filthy look' was about and discovers you talking about her.... Situation gone tits up.

That's great, truly deranged. I think you should just continue the trajectory of this interaction in true Elsie Tanner/Ena Sharples style. Next time you see her, shout her down in the street and tell her she's no better than she ought to be. With a bit of finger pointing, for good measure .

I had my own encounter with twattish entitled parking last week, when I ticked off a woman parked outside a school in a disabled bay in her 4x4, with a conspicuous absence of a blue badge. After initially saying, well I'm only here for a couple of minutes, she then added "Actually, my father was disabled". I gave her the 'you are beneath contempt' look, and drove off. That showed her.

With some people all you have to do is glance vaguely in their direction in order for them to lose all sense of proportion.
Her reaction showed she knew she was wrong and that she'd parked like a cunt. And what a spect actuality over reaction to her own shortcomings it was.

Sad times when a facial expression gets into victim blaming in the form of "I think you handled it badly" simply by OP by having the effrontery to let her facial expressions show what is blatantly obvious - angry woman is an arse. An aggressive arse.

Treat yourself to a creme egg

She might not even like creme eggs....? You might get more joy OP with a fruit and nut? Or a Terry's chocolate orange?

She's one of those entitled, self-absorbed nutters who gets enraged when people challenge or question her on anything, ever. She sounds like a complete narcissist.

Using her SIL's ilness as 'perspective' was a crass, cheap shot plucked out of thin air in an attempt to get herself of the hook for behaving selfishly by trying to make you feel bad. I think I might actually have burst out laughing in her face.

I would have laughed too...without a doubt.

Is her car a fancy 4x4 by any chance? You k ow there is a sparate rule for these