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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or was this mum deeply unpleasant and really quite weird?

155 replies

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 12/03/2015 18:35

When I collected DS from nursery just now, there was a large car parked directly in front of the door. It's a very small car park, so because of where this car was, it was also blocking the exit and halfway in the 'best' parking space (i.e. the one closest the door, which people usually go for first).

If it had been a one-off, I would have let it go. But both DH and I have noted that this same woman has parked similarly inconsiderately on a number of occasions. A couple of weeks ago, she parked blocking the entrance when the car park was actually empty, so I had to park on the road in the middle of a huge puddle.

When I got out of my car, she was already driving off so I just sort of frowned in her general direction. DH and I had talked before about asking nursery staff to have a polite word with her, so I decided to say something. As I was talking to the staff member, I heard this shouting outside and this woman came storming back over and shouted at me:

"No, I saw you giving me a filthy look, if you've got something to say you can say it to my face!"

I started to explain, and she shouted me down and said (again quite aggressively) that she hadn't bothered to park properly because she thought she would be the last one there.

I said that actually, her parking had caused problems in the past as well. She then leaned in towards me and shouted

"EXCUSE ME! MY SISTER IN LAW IS RIDDLED WITH CANCER SO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE!"

Then she walked off.

I swear, this is absolutely true. I'm not missing anything out. The conversation literally went from: "Er, well, actually..." to "CANCER!"

How on earth do I deal with this woman next time I see her?

OP posts:
ihatelego · 13/03/2015 08:52

sounds like my MIL...

Roussette · 13/03/2015 08:56

But how can you anyone think of trying to placate someone who has shouted something so ridiculous in your face, with a creme egg?!

I think everyone can recognise deep distress when someone really is going through something awful - it's that distracted thing (I remember an incident when I had left my mother in the hospice the day before she died, and someone berated me about my parking and I just burst into floods of tears apologising profusely and we ended up hugging) but to use her sister in law as a defence screaming in someone's face, is beyond the pale and ridiculous. 'My' incident was a one off, this woman is doing it continually through a sense of entitlement.

Flowers to those on here who really have something to park badly about.

DontDrinkandFacebook · 13/03/2015 09:00

Flowers 'to those on here who really have something to park badly about.'

Grin that made me LOL in spite of the serious sentiment.

chemenger · 13/03/2015 09:07

I once had someone yell at me for parking in what they imagined was her personal parking place on the street outside a nursery as I strapped dd in. She ended by screaming at the top of her voice that her mother was incontinent so she had to be able to park at her door. I'm sure her mother was pleased to have that yelled to the entire neighbourhood. I replied "you seem to be mistaking me for someone who cares. I suggest you phone the police and report me if you feel so strongly" and drove off. I admit I was rude to her but she most definitely started it and her screaming tirade gave me time to compose a succinct answer, which seldom happens.

Roussette · 13/03/2015 09:07

As far as dirty looks versus frowns.... I was in the middle of a quiet conversation with a good friend at a class I go to and this woman suddenly screamed at me for talking and then said "and you can stop looking at me and wipe that dirty look off your face."

I was Shock completely gobsmacked! I was happily chatting, had never even noticed this woman before and had no idea what she was talking about. I've now decided that my face must be permanently swathed in a dirty look! People are very peculiar sometimes.

TheVermiciousKnid · 13/03/2015 09:09

Maybe somebody should offer Putin a creme egg?

pilates · 13/03/2015 09:12

Am I missing something on here about the creme egg, is it a private joke amongst some posters?

Anyway, YANBU op. Let's hope nursery step up and put a notice about having consideration when parking. Please come back and update us.

Very poor taste to use cancer as a trump card.

hackmum · 13/03/2015 09:13

Some people are just entitled. They think normal rules of decency and courtesy don't apply to them. They're the same people who put their feet on the opposite seat in train carriage or play music loudly in public places or drop litter.

I would certainly not encourage them by giving them a creme egg.

Pagwatch · 13/03/2015 09:20

It's not a private joke Pilates.
If you read the thread someone suggested the op give raving woman a creme egg.

SaucyJack · 13/03/2015 09:26

Bitchy resting face Rousette. It's a thing.

MrsCosmopilite · 13/03/2015 09:35

I've lost three family members and two friends in the past 5 years, to cancer and alzheimers. I don't use that as an excuse to park like a cunt though.

DontDrinkandFacebook · 13/03/2015 09:37

Oh dear. I think I might have Bitchy Resting Face.

As a teenager I was always having other girls screeching 'oi bitch, stop giving me dirty looks' and half the time I wasn't even aware I was looking at them at all never mind in a dirty fashion. Confused

pilates · 13/03/2015 09:48

Thanks Pagwatch, yeah I did read that but thought it was a joke Smile

Pagwatch · 13/03/2015 09:50

I know - but no, really suggesting creme eggs Grin

MiscellaneousAssortment · 13/03/2015 10:10

Why has no one mentioned the awfulness of re formulated creme eggs??? I'd lob one as in incendiary device rather than as a peace sign!

I've had someone 'play the cancer card' and abuse her authority at the same time, double whammy from one of the most inplesant people I've ever had the misfortune to meet. She was a very senior position and has consistently behaved badly about me being disabled (due to serious illness with a not good prognosis... But apparently it / I am just worthless, as its not got a well known name that starts with the letter c).

She was manipulating / blackmailing me into change a health appointment id been waiting for two bloody years for. I won't share the details as it may out me but, she was in a position of power and by playing this card totally shut me down.

Left me goldfish stylee open mouthed as I couldn't quite believe it had happened.

It was disgusting and i will never forgive her. For the hideous way she used cancer top trumps, and also the consequences.

Don't know how she sleeps at night but as she is completely immoral and unethical, it's probably not even entered her head what an awful thing she did. If she ever thinks about it, she'd probably feel proud of herself. Cold is not the word.

Btw, the consequence was that I felt forced to postpone the appointment although the next one was 14 months away. She knew that. If I'd attended the appointment a developing health condition would have been spotted and events for me would have turned out very differently. Very differently. I blame myself for letting a selfish evil bitch manipulate me... But there's enough blame for me to share around happily.

Forgiveness is over rated (in this situation anyway!).

Hoppinggreen · 13/03/2015 10:13

I would smash creme eggs all over her feckin windscreen!!!!
Not even proper ones, the Adli ones.

I have this really amusing picture in my head now of various people going apeshit and people offering them a creme egg reverently cupped in both outstretched hands. I think this should become a MN thing, if anyone is being a loon give them a creme egg. To be fair it would probably make them pause in a kind of " what the fuck????" Kind of way.

pictish · 13/03/2015 10:39

Although it made me snort, I do appreciate the value of approaching someone who has lost it with you because they are at the end of their tether, to give them a little gift, a symbol of kindness. It was a sweet thought. It's the sort of thing I might do if I took the notion to.
But this woman is no victim of circumstance...she's a narcissistic horror who thinks manners do not apply to her. She parks where she likes, doesn't care if it inconveniences or obstructs anyone else or their nursery aged children, and throws a shit fit if anyone dare question it, however mildly.
Her closing statement regarding the sil only identifies that she is manipulative and aggressive by default.
She's take that creme egg and eat it, laughing about what a sap you are.

bendybrickpumpkinpatch · 13/03/2015 10:46

OMG I have just ACTUALLY laughed out loud ( at work !! ) at Creme Egg!!

bendybrickpumpkinpatch · 13/03/2015 10:47

I too think this should be a MN thing.

" did you meant o be so rude ? " takes hand from behind back, cocks head to one side and offers out Creme Egg Smile

duplodon · 13/03/2015 10:48

Does any of it matter? She sounds angry, distressed and who gives a shit about parking? I really don't get the endless angst about parking on MN. It really isn't that big a deal.

LadyFlumpalot · 13/03/2015 11:40

I wish I'd known about the Creme Egg tactic a month or so ago. I approached a woman parked outside the supermarket to tell her that she had a brake light out.

The conversation went like this:

Me - Excuse me, did you know that you....

Her interrupting me and shouting - I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

Me - Shock

She was in a P&C space sans kids and obviously thought I was going to have a go at her. I wonder if she was a MNetter Grin

Roussette · 13/03/2015 12:01

I think there might be a surplus of creme eggs on the shelves after Easter as they're blodd 'orrible now! MN will take them and achieve world peace Grin

I must have a bitchy resting face but my mad woman laid into me as I was telling my friend a funny story and I was laughing so my face must be really bad!

SaucyJack · 13/03/2015 12:12

Shall I be the first to suggest we need a Creme Egg emoticon?

Pagwatch · 13/03/2015 12:15

My best encounter with random rudeness was when I called out "excuse me!" To a woman walking in front of me heading towards the High Street.

She turned around and shouted 'what', at me.

I mumbled 'sorry - it's nothing' and let her continue down the high street with her skirt tucked in her knickers

Grin
ImperialBlether · 13/03/2015 12:29
Grin