Refusal to discuss formula feeding at parentcraft class

[obeliaboo]

AIBU? Ready for the fire!
I've been told that in order for me to have a tour of my chosen hospital's delivery suite, that i need to attend 'parentcraft' classes.
Yesterday was exclusively about breastfeeding, fair enough, didnt know that of course until we got there.
So, as the midwife goes on about breastfeeding and support, I enquire what is the support for those who fall into small percentage of mums who cannot breastfeed. Simple question.
"What do you mean?".
I had to ask again, and put it across that i intend to breastfeed, but what if i cant, what if my milk doesn't come in. It happens, it happened to my eldest sister, its nothing to be ashamed of so whats the harm in asking and what is the support in that situation.
"We don't discuss artificial feeding".
Seriously?? I understand the necessity to promote breastfeeding is a priority for the NHS, because it seriously needs normalising, but to just object to even touching on the subject of formula feeding really riled me. I felt like i was at a propaganda session! She instead continued to address breastfeeding and a specific brand of electric breast bump at a specifc well known retailer.
Is this what the NHS supports? Big business's and there overpriced products (the specific one mentioned was over £100, I am not in a position to be able to afford something like that for a start), under the guise that 'breast is best', its the best start for baby - and insinuating that formula is the devil when for some poor souls, it is the only option?
AIBU for finding this absolutely snotty and condescending? There are mums out there who are underconfident, or genuinely don't lactate, mums who have gone through breastcancer and mastectomies etc, so why are these midwives refusing to even consider discussing both options.
Why make it militant and harder for those who simply can't, to speak up without feeling ashamed?
FYI this is the 3rd midwife i've had ranting at me over this.

Antumbra that's rather an overreaction.

No dissing Tiktok though please. She's a star on the infant feeding topic.

Ant, of course not don't be provocative, I am suggesting that breast milk is not a magical elixir that prevents all ills.

My desperate attempts to keep bf did not prevent a major MS relapse (which simply isn't supposed to happen as a result of childbirth - you get 6 months' grace from the hormones ). What could have stemmed it off was safe, clean supportive maternity care. But then everyone should get that. Not valuable one on one time wasted with lectures.

A very long thread,so I've not read it.

I wish someone had shown me how to sterilise bottles and make up formula.
And something about weaning.And about teething,and colic,and naps,and dummies,and different types of teats,and general helpful tips....I knew loads about breastfeeding.But that wasn't feeding my baby adequetely....

Yanbu op.

Apologies for the interjection on this long running thread...but, Heels99, of course breastmilk contains vitamins and minerals (amongst a whole host of other nutrients) as it's a complete food. It contains iron, vitamin A, C, calcium, all the B vitamins, D, E, K and so on. The vitamins in breastmilk are also much more bioavailable than those in formula so they are absorbed more effectively by the baby's gut.

Culture - thanks for the info (whispers - this is not news) can you explain how this helps a desperate and struggling Mum who is being bombarded with trite handouts as a substitute for proper care.

Paediatrician prescribed vitamins for my dd as they were having expressed breast milk and he said there were no vitamins in it.

Absolutely understand that many women are not in a 'good place' and cannot complain, sparky, and others may take months (or years) to feel able to/feel they have the words to complain.

This does not apply to everyone, though.

Those who can complain, should try to do so, though, I think.

Otherwise change will be slower than it should be.

It doesn't sparky. And yes you can point out I was stating the obvious. My apologies, I'm sorry to have upset you on your thread.

The only vitamin/mineral I've heard debated re Bf is iron.

Heels, you had a really, really horrible experience :( :(

But your paed got the thing about vitamins and breastmilk utterly wrong.....of course there are vitamins in breastmilk. Pre-term babies may need individualised nutrition though, and I am not for a moment suggesting extra vits was inappropriate. But there are vitamins in breastmilk.

Not my thread, Culture. OP is due to give birth, asked a question at parent craft classes and received what appears to be the usual unhelpful response. She posted to MN. It struck a chord with me and sadly many others. Some have tried to make this thread bf vs ff. At one point we had an attempt to make it a class war. But no, it is just about the constant refrain of unhelpful mws and hv s on that most crucial subject of feeding your newborn.

Here we go again. ... It's not bf vs ff. There are other threads for that, I'm sure.

I've got a preemie too. What the doctor probably meant is there's not enough of something for the baby's needs, possibly iron? A term baby has enough iron stores to last at least 6 months, whereas a prem baby does not. That's why early weaning and vitamins or drops are sometimes recommended. They sometimes give prescription formula from prems as well.
I know that's off topic a bit but if it's anything like my experience you go home with a prem baby, maybe get 5 mins of a health professionals time every few months and messages get garbled. You know you're supposed to do something e.g. iron, but don't know the reason behind it as they never have time to explain

See, vitamins turns out to be another example of shit I was told about feeding in hospital.
Kitty, i unlike many others would never ever advise anyone on how they should feed their child.

Not just at you Kitty. The subject of all the lovely benefits of bf is well covered. The subject of poor maternity support for new mums is not, particularly as regards feeding.

Apologies, Kitty. I was rude and you were trying to be helpful re vitamins.

Thanks for being gracious about and yes, post natal classes would be helpful - poor old DH ( who had to take up a lot of slack) asked "how are you supposed to bath babies? ". No one bothered to show us

The key thing that strikes me from reading the thread and from my own experience is that however we feed our babies we should all be really sad that so many of us have had poor experiences when seeking information to try and do the best for our babies whatever we decide that might be. This also appears to be symptomatic of the generally poor post natal care that anecdotally far too many mums experience. We should put our energies into trying to change this rather than attacking one another.

Ime support for breastfeeding was non existent within the nhs and I had to seek out nct support as well as using the brilliant Kelly mom website and of course the mumsnet feeding forum. i felt like I was battling against healthcare professionals who simply plotted his weight on a chart, told me it wasn't good enough and the only solution they offered was formula top ups.
Of course no one bothered to look in his mouth or check my latch which would have shown that my baby was severely tongue tied.

I am totally baffled and shocked that despite the nhs 'breast is best' mantra, very few healthcare professionals that I encountered really understood the mechanism of breastfeeding, (and the link between supply and demand particularly - no recognition that formula top ups can damage your supply long term), the potential issues caused by tongue tie etc.

The only silver lining of this rather distressing time is that my baby will take breast, expressed milk and formula and switch between the three no problem. I feel we have the best of all worlds to suit me and my baby. But we could have got there much quicker and far less distressed if hcp were better trained.

Not trying to turn this into an anti MIL rant but my Mil who is a nurse, clearly would love me to ff my 6 week old ds and has said several little gems about him being hungry and not getting enough milk because he feeds so often and doesn't sleep longer than 2 hours generally. we are giving him a bottle a day just so I can have some peace but even on that he only sleeps the same length of time as being bf. funny that

Unless there is another Infant Feeding session, they shouldn't have really called it the breastfeeding session.

She is very wrong to treat you like that.....and I'm a trained Breastfeeding peer supporter. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your question and whilst it's a very small percent, there is a tiny number of mums who physically cannot breastfeed and she shouldn't have. Ignored your question.

If you had asked me that question, I would have replied that if, following birth, you were experiencing problems with your milk coming in or you chose to stop breast feeding after a few days/weeks, there is a lot of support available to you. First, either a MW, peer supporter or BF counsellor could assess how BF is going and provide support if you wanted to continue. They would rule out physical problems, such as tongue tie, lack of supply, ineffective attachment and therefore not enough stimulation etc. and then, if you still wanted to stop breastfeeding, they would explain the easiest way to do that.

If she was so adverse to telling you anything during the session, she could have volunteered to have a quick chat afterwards. Infant feeding is all about choice and whilst breastfeeding is obviously human milk for human babies, not all women can or want to breast feed......and it should be their choice.

And for the people saying what do you need to know about FF....if you have already been breastfeeding and your supply is completely in, there is a risk of engorgement if you suddenly stop all feeds. Dropping one feed per week is ideal so milk is reduced slowly. A first time pregnant mum may not know that. Why shouldn't the Mw have exp,wined that there is help available if it comes to it and she can't bf?