AIBU to be absolutely peed of about this summons to school about attendance???

[Tootsie1984]

Hi all.

Have not posted for a while and this could be long.

My little girl started reception 3rd September 2014.

For some reason she has caught nearly every bug that is going around. I never keep her or her older sister off unless it is really bad. Like I will send them in with a cold but not if they have high temperatures or are generally to weak to move/ sleeping all the time.

So yesterday had a letter from the school complaining about my 4 year old's attendance.

It is at 71.3% which I know is low but she has never been kept off for anything other than she was poorly.

I go by the schools rules. So if she has a sickness diarrhea then I always keep her home for the 48 hours after it is stopped.

3 times she has been sent home from school after being sick there. Once was after she had the Monday and Tuesday off with raging temperature etc. Sent her back the next day as though she was still coughing she seemed fine. After lunch she was running about outside and was a little bit sick. So picked her up and she was unable to go on the Thursday or Friday because of their rules even though she was not sick again.

Another time was she was sick (again after lunch in playground) had to keep her home for 2 days again even though she seemed fine after but they will not take them back until after the 48 hours.

Another time she did have a proper bug and ended up with 3 days off as she kept being sick through that day and part of the next as well (then it was the weekend).

She had impetigo and was given cream and antibiotics. Was told she was not allowed back in to school for 48 hours (school told me this) because then she was no longer infectious so she had 3 days off (including day taken to docs).

She has had a chest infection before christmas which was really bad and she had a week off. She has problems with her chest and has done since she was a baby.

My daughter is 4 and will be 5 end of May

So AIBU to have kept her off when she is really poorly or am I supposed to just dose her up with calpol and send her in anyway???

I have never experience this before as my eldest has fairly rare beein ill and has gone terms where she has had 100% attendance.

Sorry this is wrong I just feel really bad now like I have done the wrong thing keeping her off when ill. But I have only been following the schools rules on it all.

they have said her attendance should be 95.6%.

I am required to go to a meeting with attendance officer 20th March to discuss what we can do to improver her attendance over the next 4 weeks.

I mean what am I meant to say??? What have I done wrong when I have followed all the guidelines in place? I am now terrified to keep her off if she is ill as scared I will get into real trouble.

I don't know why she seems to be catching every illness that goes around. And she does struggle with being in full time school. I do now wish I had deferred her for the year.

I just feel so upset and like a bad mum because obviously I am doing something wrong.

Please could anyone offer me some advice on what I can say at the meeting? I just feel scared :(

Ask them for confirmation in writing that they want you to send an ill child into school, and in particular if they now are willing to not apply that 48-hour rule.

Take all of the evidence you have written here and ask their advice on when you should not have kept her off school. I think that you were justified, children often catch everything when they start school and if they are run down that makes their immune system worse. Hope your meeting goes well, I think it's a box ticking exercise!

Im no expert but I had heard that school isnt compulsory until Year 1? I might be wrong....But nevertheless I would give the school a piece of my mind! They are being ridiculous!

I am required to go to a meeting with attendance officer

Can they really demand that you attend ?

She's not even compulsory school age so she doesn't have to be in school full time (or at all in fact). Legally you could have kept her home until the term in which she turns 5. Obviously you should not be sending a sick hold into school, let alone a sick 4 year old who has only just started full time education.

I think you should attend with a calm head, explain that your daughter won't be attending school when she's unwell and reiterate that under the DfE statutory guidelines your daughter is not even obliged to attend full time at the moment (some schools don't know this).

Write down a time line of when she was off/sent home, why, and any correspondence with the school (it's handy if you notify absences by email, and keep them)l. Plus print a copy of policy sickness exclusion periods.

Then ask, repeatedly if necessary, for written instructions (from both head and governors) about when you should depart from this policy and send a potentially infectious child into school.

Ask exactly what they will cover in the meeting and the questions they are going to ask so that you are not caught on the back foot. Is the attendance officer at the school, or from the LEA? If so, why has the school not discussed it with you first? Also, isn't absence for sickness authorised? You might also want to talk to your GP by telephone to alert him or her as to what is happening, as they might also have advice.

Feel free to take a friend with you to support you if you feel that it would help you stay calm.

Yes this is almost certainly a box-ticking exercise but schools can be a bit holier than thou about things. Attendance is important but if you're ill you're ill.

The school has to investigate this. The EWO (Education Welfare Officer) checks the attendance records of everyone under 80% and 71 is very low. the school is not the enemy here. Go in, explain everything and work with together to get the attendance up. Don't go in angry and defensive... That won't help anyone! It will probably improve now anyway as it is spring and less nasties are going around.

Don't worry. They probably just want to go through and make sure all is ok with your daughter. They have to check, it's not to pick on a parent. They know some children go through bouts of illness. They'll reassure themselves it's minor bugs and not a more serious ongoing medical condition.

You know it's one of those things.

They have the LA on their backs about attendance. This is another tick box exercise so they can tell the LA they have spoken to you about the situation.

As PPs have said, school is not compulsory until age 5. Either respond to the letter with an email "I will not be attending the meeting because...." Or attend and be calm and factual.

ConferencePear
I am not sure they can demand it the letter just tells me I am to attend a meeting with them on friday 20th march at 11.30.

I'd be frustrated with this too but I expect it is a step that the school are compelled to take once attendance falls below a certain level. I think a proportion of children who do have poor attendance levels are being kept off for other reasons, parental mental health issues, lack of prioritisation of school, transport difficulties or even because of abuse within the family and I guess the school has to look at each case to avoid missing those ones. If you say what you've written here and then put it back to them as to which if any of those absences were unnecessary I'd hope they'll back off.

The school has contributed to her low attendance by sending her home, and insisting she remains at home until an amount of time has passed. Which is fine, school isn't the place for a sick child, but surely they should see that it is just one of those things and maybe treat each case individually instead of launching in asking for meetings!

I imagine the attendance officer will look at the evidence along with the fact that your little girl is in reception and just accept that you have been unlucky so far .
Perhaps the school has to refer to the attendance officer once the attendance is below a certain percentage ?
I can't see you have done anything other than what the school had insisted you do and what any other parent would do in the same circumstances .

So she is 5 on the 31st of May. Does that mean at the moment there is nothing they can do? I am so worried. Have just got over depression where I was having counselling 3 times a week. I am a lot better now and even started a part time job last june they I am really enjoying. I don't keep her home for the sake of it as I like being able to get all house work done etc in that time.

Aggghhhh I need to write a list of things that I want to say so I go in there with it already as I still get very nervous in different situations and I do still at times suffer panic attacks so I want to be sure I have all down what I would like to say or what the law is

It's bureaucracy. It's there for a reason but the reason isn't a 4 year old who's had a run of illness. You're just caught up in the pressure put on schools (which they pass on to parents) to keep attendance up.

I'd go in, with notes that you can refer to about what she had and when, and be ultra pleasant and reasonable. Point out the times she was sent home. Ask them which specific times she should have been sent in. Ask them if they're recommending you ignore the 48 hour rule to bring her attendance up. Point out her older sister's attendance. Be really cooperative. They know it's a pointless meeting (unless they're seriously daft) and you know it but the box has to be ticked.

To be fair that attendance is very low so it is understandable that it has triggered investigation. As you can show it is all genuine then it shouldn't be a problem but they have to look into it.

DS is in reception and has a lot of health problems, his attendance was 85% in the first term and will probably be lower this term. We have been told we may well get a call from education welfare at some point but not to worry as it's just a general check on things and seeing if there is anything more that could be done (by me or school) to improve his attendance. In his case there isn't as school are fantastic with him.

This is a situation which comes up time and time again in the last couple of years. I think it is due to a cracking down on the rules around attendance and all the schools are having to report low attendance, whether or not they approve of your reasons for her absence.

It is just a box ticking exercise. Don't worry - you have done everything right. Sometimes they will have a spate of illness then they will be fine for a few months or years - it is so variable.

As long as you are honest then you have nothing to fear, unless meetings freak you out (I hate anything like that!)

You might be asked to get written proof of GP appointments but then, who takes a child to the GP when they are throwing up? Counterproductive in the extreme. Or if it is several absences of two or three days. It's pointless.

I would just stand your ground, apologise for the way it looks, but categorically state your case and write down the dates and illnesses for them so you have an easy reference when you speak to them.

Good luck. It's a stupid system and I am grateful to you for following the 48 hour rule as so many people don't, and then all the other kids get ill too.

I only just saw your last post. Try not to fret about this. It's obvious that when a child is ill you can't send them in and you can't control when they're ill.

If DDs nursery had an attendance officer imagine I'd have been hauled in a while back. I'm sure DDs attendance is much lower than that! She's honestly caught a bug a week, and after her not once doing her full 15 hours they were starting to be a bit off when I rang in so I made efforts to drag her in dosed up whenever she wasn't feverish/vomitting. This backfired massively though as she ended up hospitalised with a really nasty chest infection which had settled in for the long haul. It took 14 days of amoxicillin alongside an additional antiB to shift it, and two weeks later she's down again with an ear infection which the GP thinks is some of the last infection which clung on. At that age, when they're still so young, their immune systems take a battering and they can really struggle to fight off bug after bug. I'd go to the meeting but I think I'd take a list of every bug and all the symptoms and I'd sit there and drone them all off in detail. It's ridiculous to be so over the top about small kids attendance. It's far better to keep them home so they can recover quicker and not infect the rest of the class.

Why does everyone assume that it's the school being arsey?

Her attendance is very low and the school are duty bound to try and get to the bottom of it. It would be very wrong of them to just say oh well never mind.

Done properly, this will be a positive meeting to find out if you or she need support for her to be in school more (if you don't that's fine, but they need to check) and perhaps discuss occasions when you do/don't need to keep her off.

I agree with the posters who are saying that this will have been generated by a system that just looks at the numbers.

That's part of why I said you need to get a list together so you can demonstrate that these are sicknesses absences (with evidence), and then challenge them to uphold the policy, or put their alternative in writing.

Also, keep notes of in the meeting, and then write up your own account (make sure you include their likely climb down when they grasp that she was actually sent home on a number of occasions) and email it back to them. Then if anything like this comes up again, your exoneration now is definitely on record.

Don't go down the part-time attendance route - that only works if you have an agreed plan with the school and it doesn't sound as if you have. Also, even though she is below stat school age as you have chosen to enrol her in school, she should attend. So I wouldn't mention that either (other than perhaps in passing).

Stick to the key points: she was ill (and sent home). You followed the school policies in exclusion periods. This can add up during the first 'virus season' in a new setting. Stay calm, and stay with the essentials.

I'd be very cross about being summoned like that, and though tempted to be arsey and rearrange the meeting for the sake of it, it's probably better to get it done.

Not assuming that at all. But recent tightening up of this system seems to be affecting a lot of families where the child is genuinely ill and they are abiding by rules already set in keeping them at home.

You do have to try and identify families with a problem but at the same time it seems unfair to cause stress and concern to those abiding by the system.

I wonder if there are better ways to do this.

You don't even have to send your children to school at all.

My daughter's children have never been to nursery let alone school .

I hate the police state this country is turning into.

Does young daughter have a strong gag reflex? My youngest does and sometimes it will trigger her to be sick. If this happens at school she would not automatically be sent home and be expected to be off for 48 hours.

As a lunchtime assistant I know that some of the youngest children will tear round the playground, start coughing and sometimes be sick. After a while we tend to recognise who these kids are and try to encourage them not to run round straight after lunch or to have a little sit down if they start coughing.

It might be worth checking with the school if they have any procedures to deal with this. My youngest would be excused from any vigorous PE activities and an eye kept on her at break times.