AIBU to be absolutely peed of about this summons to school about attendance???

[Tootsie1984]

Hi all.

Have not posted for a while and this could be long.

My little girl started reception 3rd September 2014.

For some reason she has caught nearly every bug that is going around. I never keep her or her older sister off unless it is really bad. Like I will send them in with a cold but not if they have high temperatures or are generally to weak to move/ sleeping all the time.

So yesterday had a letter from the school complaining about my 4 year old's attendance.

It is at 71.3% which I know is low but she has never been kept off for anything other than she was poorly.

I go by the schools rules. So if she has a sickness diarrhea then I always keep her home for the 48 hours after it is stopped.

3 times she has been sent home from school after being sick there. Once was after she had the Monday and Tuesday off with raging temperature etc. Sent her back the next day as though she was still coughing she seemed fine. After lunch she was running about outside and was a little bit sick. So picked her up and she was unable to go on the Thursday or Friday because of their rules even though she was not sick again.

Another time was she was sick (again after lunch in playground) had to keep her home for 2 days again even though she seemed fine after but they will not take them back until after the 48 hours.

Another time she did have a proper bug and ended up with 3 days off as she kept being sick through that day and part of the next as well (then it was the weekend).

She had impetigo and was given cream and antibiotics. Was told she was not allowed back in to school for 48 hours (school told me this) because then she was no longer infectious so she had 3 days off (including day taken to docs).

She has had a chest infection before christmas which was really bad and she had a week off. She has problems with her chest and has done since she was a baby.

My daughter is 4 and will be 5 end of May

So AIBU to have kept her off when she is really poorly or am I supposed to just dose her up with calpol and send her in anyway???

I have never experience this before as my eldest has fairly rare beein ill and has gone terms where she has had 100% attendance.

Sorry this is wrong I just feel really bad now like I have done the wrong thing keeping her off when ill. But I have only been following the schools rules on it all.

they have said her attendance should be 95.6%.

I am required to go to a meeting with attendance officer 20th March to discuss what we can do to improver her attendance over the next 4 weeks.

I mean what am I meant to say??? What have I done wrong when I have followed all the guidelines in place? I am now terrified to keep her off if she is ill as scared I will get into real trouble.

I don't know why she seems to be catching every illness that goes around. And she does struggle with being in full time school. I do now wish I had deferred her for the year.

I just feel so upset and like a bad mum because obviously I am doing something wrong.

Please could anyone offer me some advice on what I can say at the meeting? I just feel scared :(

You do not need to go in and explain yourself to the school.Just reiterate that she was ill.

Yes she does, Irene. A child missing 33 days of school since September would very probably trigger safeguarding procedures if their parent refused to attend a meeting to discuss the problem.

If they have a genuine safeguarding concern about a child then they should refer to social services.
Teachers have neither the training nor the remit to conduct safeguarding investigations.

It is very worryingly low though. I think the school are right to check this out.
If you look at it being about 20 weeks into the year, that's 100 days she should have been there, and she's missed more than 28 of them.

That's nearly 1 1/2 days a week, or nearly 6 weeks as a block.

Yes, go and explain that she was genuinely ill, but I wouldn't go in defensively or indignantly as it really is good that the school is picking up, as for onechild picking it up could, quite literally, be a lifesaver.

From the school's point of view 71% attendance is quite a poor show. It's more than a day off every week. Not sure what you can do about this but I can see why the school sent the letter.

Look at it the other way op.

So many stories of authorities letting children slip through the net to suffer abuse, neglect,being sent off to have FGM ffs. The school are acting responsibly and so is the attendance officer.

Obviously you have acted well too and been a responsible parent.

You have the evidence to back up your dds low attendance and the school records will show they sent her home too.

It's annoying and you feel under attack but they are just doing their job.

Dd was exactly the same but in her case her low attendance was due to an accident suffered on a school trip and so they couldn't say a lot.

It's not personal to you it's just taking care of children.

71% is dire attendance. She is missing 1 and a half days a week.
They will be able to support your whole family with attendance and help you access medical and family support if needed.

Doesn't sound like it is an EWO- sounds like it is an in school attendance worker. Not the same thing.

Thanks for all the replies.

The letter given to me was very abrupt. Also they just gave me a day and time for the appointment not asked whether I could ring up or pop in and make one convenient for us all. As it is the day they have given me will need to be rearranged as I have training courses at work all day so will not be available.

I have sent a message asking for the meeting to be changed and also asking for a copy of her attendance record so I could check what they were for and whether she was seen by the doctors. And also what times it was the schools decision to send her home then saying not allowed back in for 48 hours.

It is written that a child has to be kept of for 48 hours after last episode of sickness or/and diarrhea.

My daughter has always been a sickly child. She was hospitalised with Pneumonia when she was tiny. Since then every cough she gets seems to go to her chest. She has actually been better last few months as normally she was getting chest infection at least every 6 weeks.

I have taken her to the doctor about getting ill so often and was told that many children do in the first year of reception but it gets better as they become more immune.

I understand that she has had a lot of days off but the majority of them was following the schools policy. I just will not send her to school with a raging temperature just so they have good attendance records for the school.

My eldest has very rarely had any days off and most terms she has ended up with the 100% attendance. But even she has had a few days off since start of September but mainly because she has caught things of her sister.

We have never taken the girls out for days out/holidays.

And maybe I would have felt better if there was communication beforehand as this came out of the blue. Her teacher is the one who says if they are unwell don't send them in as they are only little. But we have always sent her in with just a basic cold.

I will be fine by the way. I am scared as there was no warning though obviously I can see she has had a lot of time off.

But again we both work and neither of us wants to have to take time off everytime she is ill -but as parents we thought we were doing the right thing. I am only scared what will I do if she gets poorly again before the end of school term? Vomiting bug going around again now and a girl in her class was sent home yesterday with it. So likely mine will get it too and half rest of class but now I am questioning have I made right decisions.

Also on another note I always ring when she is ill. And even asked their advice a couple of times and they said to keep her home.

Think I am just going to come up with a list of questions/answers and see what they say.

So what your saying then Irene is they should just refer low attendance to social service? Now that would be an over reaction.

The op has been invited into school to discuss her daughters very low attendance. She is able to show that it is all genuine so no problem. with some children there would still be concerns from the meeting (or lack of attendance at a meeting) and that is when things would be reffered on if needed.

Schools can't ignore low attendance. Whatever the reason it does impact on the child's school life so they need to look what, if anything, can be done to help.

I woukd take it with a pinch of salt, and print out what you have said in your op. Next time yiu will send her in when she has diarohea and vomitting or if she is too ill she can't move and let them deal with it! blimey No common sense whatsoever.

I meant tell them that you will send her in when she has DV or us too weak to move.

So what your saying then Irene is they should just refer low attendance to social service? Now that would be an over reaction

Exactly .Social services would not be interested BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUSPICION IT IS A SAFEGUARDING ISSUE.

Please do not be scared. Of course you should keep your child off if she is ill. But some parents do not care about making sure their child goes to school. This is just an automatic meeting to check that you are not a parent who needs help to get their child to school.
Just turn up, be reasonable, and answer their questions. And continue to keep your child off when she is ill.

My Dd is also summer born and I have no idea how bad her attendance would have been if she didn't have a habit of getting ill during school holidays. In her reception year she had at least 4 bugs, slapped cheek and chicken pox.
if you have a Laptop/ PC, maybe write a spreadsheet with all the dates you can think of, the reasons for them and when the school sent her home. You could also contact your GP and ask if he/ she would be willing to write a letter about the times you have contacted them this school year, so you feel prepared and confident when you go in.
I would also ask for the school procedure on who gets to send your child home. Maybe she could be seen by a first aider first who could check for temperature for one incidence of vomiting after lunch?

They can't know it's not a safeguarding issue without looking into things though. Even if it's not a safeguarding issue they shouldn't sit back and just accept low attendance without question.

Teachers absolutely are trained to spot safeguarding issues and report as necessary. Conversations with parents regarding attendance is all part of that.

'Teachers absolutely are trained to spot safeguarding issues and report as necessary'

Can you not read? Of course they are trained to spot butwhat I said was they are not trained to conduct safeguarding ge te not to INVESTIGATE, which is what a poster suggested they were duty bound to do.

Repeated absence is a possible safeguarding issue, it is perfectly reasonable for a school to find out what's behind it before reporting it (or not) as a safeguarding issue.

My reading's fine thanks. How are your manners?

I'm sure they just have to check there aren't any underlying concerns, and that is just due to sickness.
There would be hell to pay if it turned out there was a problem at home causing those absences and they hadn't investigated it.
Just explain it to them like you did to us here, and once her health settles down and attendance goes back up, they'll leave you alone.

find out what's behind it before reporting it (or not)
Given the Op has already (at the time of absence) told them that her daughter was ill, what would you call further 'finding out' other than 'investigating'?

..and given the child is 4 and does not have any reason why she needs to be in school, why is her not being there suspicious?

..and what do they think the parents are going to say? 'Oh I kept her off whilst the bruises I gave her, healed?'.
No.The safe guarding thing is a red herring.It is all about browbeating the mother into toeing a line that there is no legal requirement for her to toe.

I would go along to meeting, be charming and at the meeting express surprise that this meeting has been called given the xxxx (all the reasons in your OP).

Listen to lovemycats xxx
she absolutely right, better that children are checked re illness, than die of abuse xxx Do not worry. Good luck!
xx

I think it's just protocol. The school have to look into it. I'm sure they will take your reassurance for the reasons why and leave it at that.

I do think that having a sickness bug is very different, i.e contagious, to a bit of sick that comes with coughing a lot or running around after eating lunch. It seems they might be a bit jumpy and sent her home unnecessarily.

In the case of a stomach bug at my school we say to have 24hrs off after last vomit occurrence. 48 seems too long!