"Bless you"

[Thistledew]

I'm not talking about a response to a sneeze, but AIBU to find it patronising and irritating to my atheist ears when people decide to "bless" me for just going about my daily life.

I have a couple of Christian relatives who do this. Some recent examples when they have let the need to say "bless you" have included me serving them lunch at my house, or telling them about time I have spent with an elderly and frail relative (not a chore, I enjoy spending time with them) or talking about a health problem that I am working to overcome. It seems I can't tell them about anything that is part of my daily life without them saying "Oh Bless you"! I don't need or want any special recognition for something that is quite ordinary to me.

I think it annoys me in part because amongst non Christians "Awww, bless!" is what you might say when seeing something cute and slightly daft, and it surprises me that my Christian relatives don't seem to realise this. Also, it seems to be part of a bigger picture of them being quite condescending about their faith any my lack of it, and it feels a bit like them saying "I'm Christian and wonderful and can hand out blessings when you manage so well at daily life despite your lack of faith".

So AIBU to be irritated by this? Should I feel grateful? Or do I just need to work harder at letting it fade into white noise?

It's just a saying. No harm done.

It's not like they are shouting 'fucking praise the Lord you atheist she devil'

It's just bless you. A saying.

My nanna used to say goodnight God bless. It didn't mean anything to us, just something nanna said. She wasn't doing to prove her religiousness

blimey you are being a bit unreasonable - if they where screaming 'repent sinner of you shall burn in the pit of hell' you might have a point ...bless you - not so much

You're overthinking it, just let it wash over you they are trying to be nice.

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable. It is slightly passive-aggressive. I'm Christian and wouldn't go around assuming people want me to bless them.

Actually, there was a minor (very British, very Anglican ) kerfuffle at my old church over whether the vicar saying 'bless you' as we went out after the service was patronizing or not. You couldn't make it up.

I think YABU. They probably say it by reflex, the same way you might say 'thank you'.

I suppose it annoys me because I'm never quite sure what it means.

Do they actually want/think that some Divine being will go round handing out favours for me going about my daily basis?

Is it a way of saying "thank you"? In which case just say it. Don't ask some deity that you know I don't believe in to say your thanks for you.

It's just a saying. I don't see the issue personally. I don't believe but some do and if they are blessing me so be it.

No worse than the women in town who 'puts a curse' on you if you don't buy the lucky charm.

Nope YANBU. I find it annoying too. I tend to ignore. My reward is the look of consternation I get from people when I don't bless them after a sneeze

It sounds like it really grates on you, to hear something that you really don't identify with at all. So YANBU to feel irritation, I suspect you'll have to let it wash over, as the people you mention sound like they aren't going to stop any time soon.

Just something that happened to me the other day ...

I received an email from a dear friend's brother to tell me that my friend had died and details of the funeral. I dropped him an email back saying how shocked and sad I was. I also said at the end of the email, "you and the family are in my thoughts and prayers".

After I had sent it, I thought Oh no what if he takes offence at me saying "prayers". Anyway I got an email back and he said ""bless you, for your kind words... Etc". I was so relieved that he said that. I'm not particularly religious but it felt right to say what I said, I didn't have a clue if my friends DBro was religious, but it felt supportive.

I hope you don't mind me sharing this, it is an example of when bless you is said in a context that doesn't seek to offend.

But I agree if it is after every sentence it may come across as patronising.

Gosh! some people try really hard to be offended.
Bless them!

I love it when people say bless you or God bless you (obv not in the patronizing way) I find it really sweet and it makes me smile! I think you are definitely over reacting, they mean well so you should try and take it like that

Yabu
I too am an atheist. I don't believe there is a magical being who can bless me. If other people do believe and they ask that creature bless me too - what is the harm?
It's like my neighbour giving me presents of turnips from his allotment. I don't need or want them but I appreciate the gesture and know that he thinks they will be useful to me.

Yabu and just looking for ways to be offended

My boss is like you and goes into a right rage about it too, which is incredibly offensive to me!

I'm not offended. Just slightly irritated.

I think it's largely because it is so meaningless - both because I don't share their beliefs behind it and because it seems a cop out to actually saying "thank you", or "that sounds tough, what you are going through", or "it's good of you to do that".

It is actually a meaningless phrase that displays a lack of attempt to empathise or engage, but makes the "blesser" feel like they are doing something significant.

Yabu. Its an automatic response i know for me. Nothing to do with religion.

There's so many meaningless phrases.

I know people that hate the word cheers in place for thank you and turn red with rage about it

It's just a saying which has no deeper meaning and is just normal to them

I think that's the problem Fuckit - it is a phrase with no meaning, but they are using it as if it has meaning.

So let them. It's no offensive and doesn't belittle you or anything.

People say all kinds of meaningless shit.

'I've just been hit by a car and my head has fallen off.'

'Awww you ok?'

Meaningless shit but it happens

I;m an atheist but I'm bemused by this. I mean, really?

YABU, as other posters have said, it's just a saying. I can't believe anyone thinks it's passive aggressive...that phrase it used far too frequently on MN now.

I guess I am just overly sensitive to the nonsense that comes out of the mouths of these two relatives. Both of them recently said some unthinkingly insensitive things about the elderly relative, which have left me seething but unsurprised.

They are both prone to going off on how wonderful their lives are because they are Christian, and I just want to say to them "No, it fills you with empty platitudes and stops you properly empathising with people around you", but it's not worth the fall out as they wouldn't listen and are not interested in changing.

Do you mind the bless you when you sneeze?

Isn't that something about devil and shit? Religious but most people do it.

It seems I can't tell them about anything that is part of my daily life without them saying "Oh Bless you"!

YABU. I don't even associate this phrase with religion anymore because of how widely its used.

I had a meeting with a recruiter and she said what time is best for you?

I replied - I'm free all day tomorrow so whichever time slot you have available.

"Aww bless you"

It made me want to reach down the phone and strangle her. I find it extremely patronising.

Isn't that something about devil and shit? Religious but most people do it.

A sneeze is the soul escaping and "bless you" is keeping the soul inside

Close enough