Page 8 | my dp NEVER tips

suzzieanneba46 · 2015-03-05T06:13:04+00:00

My dp just refuses ever to tip. This is because he worked in a pizza restaurant when he was a student and never got any of the tips as he worked in the kitchen. Aibu to think he needs to give this up and just go along with social norms?

londonrach · 05/03/2015 16:08

Or it is affects. One word i struggle with!!!

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 16:10

Do you really understand what you're saying when you say that tipping should be banned?

Yes, I do.

Should minicab drivers be obliged to take anyone just because they can pay the fare?
Yes, of course they should. Your logic is a load of crap. You're insinuating that anyone who isn't a tipper can be construed as either a puker or a mugger and if we were to abolish tips then how would they know who the 'naice' passengers were?
Good grief.

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 16:12

are you seriously saying that poor people should stay at home where the belong and never go out and treat themselves?

Well that is what I have done. If I couldn't afford to do something or buy something then I wouldn't do it. I don't spend money on treats if I don't have it. I don't think that is disgusting, just sensible.

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 16:13

Or it is affects

Yes.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 05/03/2015 16:14

So, just to be clear, non-tippers are mean, selfish, tight-fisted and embarrassing to be seen with. Fuck me we're screwed aren't we.

Au contraire. I applaud the OP's DP for having the guts to refuse to go along with a social norm that makes no sense. I am against tipping because it makes no sense. I am not tight-fisted and am generous in plenty of other ways.

But I am not rich enough to piss money away left right and centre. I would find eating out or being in a relationship with that kind of person rather wearing TBH.

I sometimes tip, but more in a 'round up the change sort of way' rather than 10-15%, which is simply ridiculous.

As an example, our last meal out cost something like 37.50, which for one course and one drink each in an average middle of the road type of place is really quite a lot of money. We were only there an hour and left 40 cash. I refuse to see how that can be considered to be mean.

Our server was looking after several other tables at the same time, so could have doubled their minimum wage salary during that time. I still don't see how waiting tables is considered to be significantly different to jobs like shop work that pay minimum wage, largely without tips.

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 16:14

If I couldn't afford to do something or buy something then I wouldn't do it

They CAN afford to go out!!!!! Wahhhh it's like a bloody head bang against a wall.
Tipping IS NOT COMPULSORY IN THE UK AND NEVER HAS BEEN!!!!
It's not the norm, seriously. Unless you're in London maybe.

BigChocFrenzy · 05/03/2015 16:15

People on low income should not feel they must shut themselves away in shame because they can't afford to tip.
Those more comfortably off have no right to judge.

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 16:17

Hear hear BigChoc.

BigChocFrenzy · 05/03/2015 16:17

Yes, poor people are embarassing Is that you, IDS ??

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 16:19

SwirlyThingAlert - I think you are having a different conversation to the one I am having. The post I replied to at the beginning of the thread said

Have you ever thought that some of the people who don't tip that you judge can't afford to?

So I was replying to that, not whether or not you can afford to tip. If you don't want to tip then don't as it isn't compulsory.

expatinscotland · 05/03/2015 16:20

So no one is entitled to a tip. No one is entitled to a 'treat', either.

limitedperiodonly · 05/03/2015 16:20

It's just so stupid how some professions expect the public to give them extra money for doing their job.

Professions don't accept gratuities. Mostly, it's strictly banned.

Some trades do though - waiting staff, hairdressers, drivers, delivery people...

So I'd be careful about the distinction between profession and trade.

I don't understand what the problem is and the resentment from people who say that because they aren't in the tipping group they don't think others should get tips.

That seems to be very dog-in-the-manger.

I am a tradesperson who doesn't not work in one of those areas I've named.

I'm lucky enough to get very nice things. Not money, though. That's always a big problem.

FuckItBucket · 05/03/2015 16:22

I only really go out for meals with my son who is 5 so he can judge away

There's one woman at Pizza Hut who I ask for and I always tip her. She usually only charges me for one adult buffet when I take my son as we don't eat that much between us.

I tip her the money I saved on the kids meal. People might see that as wrong but she's great.

Taxi drivers I just round to nearest £1.

Apart from that I don't really tip. Not arsed what strangers on here think of it either

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 16:23

Who said anything about shutting yourself away in shame. All I said was that if I couldn't afford £1 or £2 as a tip then I would question why I was wasting the little money I did have on a meal out. I have grown up having to be careful with my money so I don't spend money on treats unless I can afford to. Seriously, what is so wrong about that? Do you think I should get into debt just so I can have a few meals out?

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 16:27

Profession, trade. You're just word picking now. OK, if you're going to be pedantic, why should some trades expect extra, but it's banned as you say for professions?
The more you argue the more it's looking like it harks back to a relic of paying the servants extra. Especially with your differentiating between trades and professions.
As I said, a monetary patronising pat on the back for being clever and doing their job properly.
It's outdated and class segregating as your post is coming across.

Sallystyle · 05/03/2015 16:30

It's nothing to DO with being too hard up, what part of that are people not getting?! It's just so stupid how some professions expect the public to give them extra money for doing their job.

A PP questioned what people suggest to those who can't afford to tip.

I think not going out for a meal if you can't afford a small tip probably means you shouldn't be spending money on a meal in the first place.

Now, if you don't want to tip because you don't agree with it that is a different matter entirely, but a pp asked for opinions on what people should do if they can't afford a tip. It's pretty valid to say if you are so hard up you can't afford at least a £3 tip it is probably unwise to go out to eat in the first place.

I think a few people missed that post. That is why people are talking about not being able to afford to tip.

Sallystyle · 05/03/2015 16:33

Everyone is doing their absolute best to ignore the people who are posting repeatedly about those of us who can't afford to tip. Is it really as simple as us peasants having to stay at home until we can afford that bit extra that will allow us to conform to a social trend set by people with more disposable income than 'us'? Is that it?

The post I am replying too.

Sallystyle · 05/03/2015 16:33

Everyone is doing their absolute best to ignore the people who are posting repeatedly about those of us who can't afford to tip. Is it really as simple as us peasants having to stay at home until we can afford that bit extra that will allow us to conform to a social trend set by people with more disposable income than 'us'? Is that it?

The post I am replying too.

PrivatePike · 05/03/2015 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigChocFrenzy · 05/03/2015 16:37

Someone on low income may be able to afford an occasional treat, but NOT with the tip added on. So, they are being careful with their money by not needlessly donating it to waitstaff, who may be better off than they are.

We have copied the USA, but staff there are often below nmw and their Inland Revenue taxes the waitstaff on estimated tips.

Morelikeguidelines · 05/03/2015 16:39

You don't have to tip but it is always nice. I tend to think being a waiter/ waitress is a bit of a thankless task!

TooOldForGlitter · 05/03/2015 16:42

I don't class it as "wasting what little money I have" but thank you trying to make us poor people sound like idiots with no money sense. I class it as having a treat. I have to put £4 or £5 aside each week to be able to raise the £50 or so that I need to take my family out for a bog standard pub meal. If you honestly think that I should then save for another week so that I can tip the person who is being paid (the same wage that I get paid) then you are not living in the real world. At all.

People say this kind of thing of, 'don't have what you can't afford' shite on "is 19 children too many" threads and get RIPPED to pieces, but talk about the peasants going out to the local Harvester and not tipping and it's 8 pages of (mostly) agreement. What. The. Fuck.

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 16:50

I'm not trying to make you sound like an idiot. I just wouldn't and haven't spent money on meals out if I can't afford to. A meal out isn't a high priority to me so I would rather just keep my cash. If you want to go out and have a meal and not tip then do so. I am only saying what I would do in the same position and don't see why that means I am not living in the real world.

limitedperiodonly · 05/03/2015 16:52

You're insinuating that anyone who isn't a tipper can be construed as either a puker or a mugger and if we were to abolish tips then how would they know who the 'naice' passengers were?

That's not what I'm insinuating at all swirly.

Please stop trying to be so hysterical.

Sallystyle · 05/03/2015 16:59

I agree dexter

If I had to save up for an extra week to afford a tip I simply would not go out and use that saved money for something else.

That is how I would prioritise that money. I am not suggesting you should do the same.

I am very much living in the real world. To me, having to save up for weeks to afford a meal out when I could have a day out for much cheaper is poor money management. But I couldn't care less what anyone else does.