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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my dp NEVER tips

483 replies

suzzieanneba46 · 05/03/2015 06:13

My dp just refuses ever to tip. This is because he worked in a pizza restaurant when he was a student and never got any of the tips as he worked in the kitchen.

Aibu to think he needs to give this up and just go along with social norms?

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 05/03/2015 20:34

swirly I'm not sidesteppping or evading, I just don't think you get it.

If you are a member of a profession - let's say a doctor, dentist, pharmacist, solicitor, barrister, surveyor, accountant or many other jobs you can be struck off.

It's a big deal. It's not the same as a job and might be far less lucrative.

I have a job and I can't be struck off by a professional body because it's a trade.

Why can't you understand this?

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 20:40

I'll say it again. The reason I wouldn't go out if I couldn't afford to give a tip is that it would mean I was skint so I wouldn't want to spend my money on a meal. It has nothing to do with keeping restaurants open and keeping people in jobs. It would make me feel anxious to spend money that I can't really afford to spend on an unneccessary treat. Why is it very silly to think like that?

Only1scoop · 05/03/2015 20:42

It's not 'silly' Dexter....I can see where you are coming from.

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 20:47

It was in reply to Only the very silly would say that 'if you can't afford to tip you can't afford to eat out'.

GoneGirlGone · 05/03/2015 20:47

Shame on those who refuse to tip. For me it's a sign of appreciation, an extra thank you after good food or thoughtful service. And an acknowledgement that perhaps for those I'm tipping it make a real difference to the money they have in their pocket.

Southeastdweller · 05/03/2015 20:54

Mary now idea where you live, but here in London, most cleaners don't get paid the London Living Wage.

Sallystyle · 05/03/2015 20:55

I stand by my opinion. If you can't even afford a £2 tip because that is going to skint you out then you really can't afford a meal out.

If an extra £2 is impossible to find or lead you into trouble it seems a bit silly to me to be going out to eat.

I don't care if people think my opinion makes me silly. Of course people who are struggling deserve to go out and have fun but there are many cheaper options and if a small tip is enough to leave you completely skint then that money will surely be put to better use for emergencies or clothes or any of the things people need to buy?

Again, I don't care if people choose to spend their money on a meal out but it hardly makes someone silly to think that it might not be a wise choice to eat out if finding a small tip is impossible for you.

Southeastdweller · 05/03/2015 20:56

For God's sake, Gone and others, it's part of the person's job to make the customer feel welcomed and appreciated!

BigChocFrenzy · 05/03/2015 20:56

Noone's saying you are silly to make the decision about what you personally would do if skint, Dexter.
Just that it's silly not to understand that others might decide differently to you and that it could be a reasonable decision in their circumstances.

Only1scoop · 05/03/2015 20:58

U2

Agree

RocketCat77 · 05/03/2015 21:00

How about Hairdressers? Do people still tip them ? I rarely get my hair cut, as I am one who really does not enjoy the experiance, what is the current thought on that?

Only1scoop · 05/03/2015 21:02

Rocket.... yes I do although not 10 percent as its bloody extortionate the cost of my haircut these days Confused

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 21:07

I don't think it is very silly to suggest that if you can't afford to tip then you can't afford to eat out to anybody. I think it is quite sensible advice. Of course others might not agree but that didn't seem to me to be what the pp meant.

limitedperiodonly · 05/03/2015 21:08

I agree with everything you said U2TheEdge

BigChocFrenzy · 05/03/2015 21:10

I gave my hairdresser a fiver on Saturday, but I'm well off and that was my choice. Doesn't mean someone skint shouldn't have their hair done if they can't tip.

If somebody is hard up, would you judge them if they cancel their £2 per month standing order to charity ?
Waitstaff, hairdressers, taxi drivers all have less need of that £2 than say the kids in Africa that a charitable donation would help feed.

RocketCat77 · 05/03/2015 21:10

Thanks Scoop - I loath the 'paying' bit. I only get my hair cut every 6 months or so. I am mentally preparing myself for my next visit, so will remember 10% is ok !

Only1scoop · 05/03/2015 21:13

I know Rocket ....I hate the 'paying bit' also ....especially if I've had my cut ....colour....wash all by different people Confused I generally leave less than 10 percent as its just gone up again.

I'm going to be having a annual haircut if it increases anymore!!

RocketCat77 · 05/03/2015 21:15

Just to clarify, I do usually tip when I have a haircut - but am never sure if I am offending them by doing so (i get strangely self concious and always feel out of my depth in any pampering type situation.
Restaurants, we do normally tip unless the staff have been a bit unfriendly or unhelpful.

BigChocFrenzy · 05/03/2015 21:25

I go every 6 weeks, so my hairdresser does well !
I eat out most days, so my favourite 2 restaurants also do well.
However, tipping is my choice NOT my obligation.

RocketCat77 · 05/03/2015 21:33

I used to work in a rock pub (happy days!) and it really is true that tipping the staff gets you better service.
The customers who would say, 'oh, and have one for yourself' - they are the ones we'd rush to serve over others who may have been at the bar first.

daisychain01 · 05/03/2015 21:34

-DP and I allow for a 10% tip, when we go out to eat.

  • I always tip my hairdresser because it makes her smile and it's my way of showing her appreciation rather than just because of the actual money.
  • We treat ourselves to a car wash once a month and put some money in their tip box.
  • We probably aren't absolutely logical, but as lying says it's a weird system in UK. It defies logic.

countingthepennies I'd give you £50 tip every time, you do an amazing job!

I feel a nad sorry for your DP suzanne starting this fred to slag him off and not even coming back on here poor bugger

daisychain01 · 05/03/2015 21:37

bigchoc me too, no wonder my hairdresser nips out the back to make me a cuppa when she sees me turn up Smile

BigChocFrenzy · 05/03/2015 21:38

Mine always gives me coffee with a choc biscuit Wink

daisychain01 · 05/03/2015 21:38

Sorry should have said suzzie

daisychain01 · 05/03/2015 21:40

I'm obviously not tipping her enough Grin