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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

my dp NEVER tips

483 replies

suzzieanneba46 · 05/03/2015 06:13

My dp just refuses ever to tip. This is because he worked in a pizza restaurant when he was a student and never got any of the tips as he worked in the kitchen.

Aibu to think he needs to give this up and just go along with social norms?

OP posts:
Southeastdweller · 05/03/2015 19:30

I'm saying I think it's crazy that some people tip waiting staff and not tip anyone else they come across who are paid a legal wage.

FuckItBucket · 05/03/2015 19:32

I'm going to start asking for a tip from strangers if I hold a door open for them

Stoneysilence · 05/03/2015 19:32

Unless service is awful then at least 10% is, in my book, pretty much mandatory. If you "can't afford" that part of the payment for the meal you've just enjoyed then you can't afford to eat out.

The absolute worst is going out for dinner with friends who announce they'll just "pay for what they've had" as you know you're going to be left with the entire tip to pay. I avoid eating out with stingy tight arses who do this repeatedly.

hugoagogo · 05/03/2015 19:33

Oh it's social convention, like judging people on the colour of their skin and treating all women as if they are sex objects or cleaners. No hope of changing then....

Feckeggblue · 05/03/2015 19:33

But that's the convention. Lots of social conventions are crazy when you think about it. Grin

I would tip the supermarket delivery guy. He may take it. I wouldn't tip the check out person- they're not allowed to take it, and would get caught. So what's the point?

Feckeggblue · 05/03/2015 19:36

Judging people on the colour of their skin isn't social convention Hmm what a weird thing to say

Southeastdweller · 05/03/2015 19:41

Sorry, don't get it. You think waiting staff are deserving of extra money so why don't you give the cleaning staff, for example, a gesture of another kind apart from money, assuming they're not allowed to take it? A box of chocolates for example, now and then?

The more I think about the more I think tipping in this country is damn stupid.

Feckeggblue · 05/03/2015 19:44

What cleaning staff? I'd tip my own cleaner or hotel room cleaners on occasion

Feckeggblue · 05/03/2015 19:44

I don't believe you don't get it Wink I just think you're being obtuse

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 19:51

Who knew not tipping was an option???

Ermm... really? Are you in the UK? It really isn't the norm and certainly isn't expected.

Southeastdweller · 05/03/2015 19:51

They're an example of workers who get paid a minimum wage. Cleaners who work at your workplace, if you do work.

I just don't get why you pay extra money to waiting staff who get paid a fair amount and you rarely bother with other minimum wage earners you come across. Because of some silly stupid social convention?

Feckeggblue · 05/03/2015 19:54

The cleaners in my office aren't doing anything for me though are they? They are cleaning the office for the company I work for. A waitress serves me and hopefully contributes towards an experience that I enjoy.

Trills · 05/03/2015 19:54

I agree with MardyBra

(and yes I know it was a long time ago)

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 19:55

I didn't say bikers. I said bilkers, meaning people who dodge their bills

Oh OK, I apologise for that bit - I have never actually heard or seen the word bilker before and saw the word biker instead. Grin

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 19:57

Oh, and nice side stepping of the question there, limited - I'm impressed. Pick up on the one mistake I made and conveniently evade the elaborating... again...

Southeastdweller · 05/03/2015 20:02

So what are the waiting staff doing then? Helping you enjoy your meal but they're paid a fair amount for that, aren't they, as part of their job? What's the point paying more for them doing what they're paid to do?

Feckeggblue · 05/03/2015 20:06

That's exactly what they're doing. Helping me enjoy my meal Grin

Southeastdweller · 05/03/2015 20:10

Yes, I know. I never said otherwise Confused

base9 · 05/03/2015 20:11

I have never been out for a meal with someone who does not tip in all my life- friends, family, coworkers, friends of friends. None of us are well off. It is part of the cost of eating out. I also tip delivery drivers, hairdressers and hotel cleaning staff. I can't believe anyone would go back a second time to a restaurant that they had left without tipping.

Only1scoop · 05/03/2015 20:11

Shocked at how many non tippers there are....glad I don't have to dine out with any squeaky meanies Grin

Marynary · 05/03/2015 20:15

So what are the waiting staff doing then? Helping you enjoy your meal but they're paid a fair amount for that, aren't they, as part of their job? What's the point paying more for them doing what they're paid to do?

They are paid less per hour than they otherwise would be because it is expected that their wages are supplemented by tips. If nobody tipped they would be paid more and the price of meals would go up.

Marynary · 05/03/2015 20:17

They're an example of workers who get paid a minimum wage. Cleaners who work at your workplace, if you do work.

Cleaners often get more than the minimum wage. Where I live they are usually paid £8 to £10 per hour.

SwirlyThingAlert · 05/03/2015 20:20

What's the point paying more for them doing what they're paid to do?

Because somewhere in the dim and distant past of the era of master servants, it was deemed the thing to do. Now it's a tradition that apparently has to be adhered to at all costs. Hmm

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/03/2015 20:21

I do tip but it's a stupid practice in the UK. It's not consistent across the board, there's it's unfair.

We have minimum wage, many people who eat out are also on minimum wage. Only the very silly would say that 'if you can't afford to tip you can't afford to eat out'. There are restaurants closing down all around. Would waiting staff rather have a small tip or have a job?

The post from whocansay... Such disgusting behaviour from staff is liable to get them arrested and even imprisoned. Who do they think they are to believe that they are so entitled to tips that they can contaminate somebody's food just because they weren't tipped. There are more and more restaurants employing security cameras covertly now. I wouldn't shed a tear for anybody who lost their job for spitting or worse in food, not one, but the culprits are obviously too stupid to think that they behaviour impacts on every member of staff when it hits the national press.

People judge everybody for everything. I couldn't care less whether somebody I'm with tips or not. If I want to tip, I will, even though I disagree with the practice. I don't tip huge amounts unless the service was exceptional and then I do. That's what tips were for, not this milksop tipping for mediocre - and already paid for - service.

Needalifecoach · 05/03/2015 20:23

Yes everyone I know tips and always has, apart from the tight arse I last went out with. In his case it was a sign of arrogance and a nasty attitude towards people. He would collect the pennies from the tray at the end of the meal and put it towards his next drink.