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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Drinking in pregnancy. The message still isn't registering

335 replies

kissmethere · 03/03/2015 13:38

Just read an article about the effects of alcohol in pregnancy. Children left with lasting effects of their mothers drinking habits and the mothers are saying they had no idea this would happen. Seriously?
I drank Guinness during my first pregnancy 18 years ago, very small amount at the end, adhering to the old wives tale that it was full of iron and malt. I knew back then that there was no way spirits or beer or loads of Guinness or much more should be consumed as it was bad for the baby. That was 18 years ago! I knew a woman when I was growing up who's son had permanent bone and facial damage as his mum was an alcoholic and fell over when she was pregnant with him, they had to operate on him while in the womb.
My point is how is it that some women still think alcohol in pregnancy is ok or claim they didn't know what damage it can do to the baby. What help are they getting if they truly know they have an addiction?

OP posts:

LittleBearPad · 03/03/2015 14:36

It's not "a glass, a few halves and a brandy" though is it for most women. I wouldn't drink Brandy if you paid me. A G&T or a glass of wine note the 'or' wasn't a problem on my view. If you don't want to take that risk then don't.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 03/03/2015 14:37

I'm not in the business of policing what other women do with their bodies. Pregnant women are not public property.

Northernexile · 03/03/2015 14:39

I think OP has been reading this article:

Yes. It's from the DM

Lovemycatsandkids · 03/03/2015 14:39

Utter bollocks.

I too see children with FAS in my work environment and it's not caused by the odd glass of wine.

Those mothers are alcoholics.

Original poster

kissmethere · 03/03/2015 14:39

Posted too soon. This is based on a conversation I had this morning. I'm not saying anyone that drinks a drop of alcohol is a alcoholic. And yes I know the most damage can be done in the first trimester. I didn't know I was pregnant and stopped drinking.
There is a huge delusion and of the I didn't know.

OP posts:

Lovemycatsandkids · 03/03/2015 14:40

Hate these judgy pregnant women threads anyway.

Most women are quite capable of working out their own path in life and don't need judging by twats.

LittleBearPad · 03/03/2015 14:42

Pregnant women are not public property.

They shouldn't be. I totally agree but we are generally treated as if we're stupid whilst pregnant. Most of the dietary advice is absurd and out of date hence the ridiculous questions posed every so often on the pregnancy boards about whether the foetus is ok after the pregnant woman ate a slightly undercooked egg or some Brie.

NakedFamilyFightClub · 03/03/2015 14:43

OP - Do you really expect an alcoholic to say "Yes, i knew what I was doing but I need alcohol to function"?

Much easier to say "I didn't know"

Perhaps you should consider attending an Al Anon meeting for friends and families of alcoholics. You can do nothing for your friend(s) but you can be there for the children up to a point, if you decide to stay in their lives.

Original poster

kissmethere · 03/03/2015 14:44

Btw on the bus so bad typos

OP posts:

Number3cometome · 03/03/2015 14:44

I was told Mcflurries were banned, but this is false info.

Just in case anyone had been given the same story!

CluelessDil · 03/03/2015 14:46

I wasn't sure what the up to date advice was so when I went looking it left me pretty confused but then the general consensus seemed to be small amounts ok after 12 weeks.

I was quite surprised at my booking appointment when the midwife asked me what I knew about drinking during pregnancy - I just said it is my understanding that it's not advised and before I finished she launched into a pretty big speech about it.

You are right it's not advised AT ALL, not even a small glass of fizz at a wedding. We don't know enough about the harmful effects of even small amounts... That told me! I'm not a big drinker tbh but I do have a wedding at 22 weeks and I was king of looking forward to that fizz! I daren't now as her words will be ringing in my ears.

Sorry for the long post my main point is that there is so much info and differing opinions, it's really daunting.

Morelikeguidelines · 03/03/2015 14:47

Agree with moreis - judgy pants much?

I do think that the key to reducing drinking in pregnancy (apart from those with actual alcoholism) is to reduce society's obsession with drinking.

alteredbeast · 03/03/2015 14:47

What a bunch of judgey, self-righteous, holier than thou arseholes. I don't care if this post gets deleted, so shoot me.

We're all selfish with our unborn children really aren't we? Where does this attitude end? Not drinking enough water? Too much sugar? Not living in the remote countryside with unpolluted air?

You are the kind of mothers who give feminism a bad name. I'm not saying it's not wrong to drink heavily or smoke etc but have any of you ever been pregnant in a high rise flat, with a partner who beats you up daily? Never been educated in your life?

No. Because your smug middle class perspective has blinded you to the fact that actually, you can afford to live healthily in your pregnancies because we exploit pregnant women everyday and harm their unborn children.

mswibble · 03/03/2015 14:48

My occasional glass of mid strength Guinness which comes in at 2.8% or 1.3 units is a hell of a lot better than several pints plus the brandy chaser described here. And just how many scans did she have? She states that she used to have a couple of drinks after then scans, well she has admitted her addiction to alcohol so what was she drinking on all the other days, when there was no scan? Lets be honest, this article is about an alcoholic whose child is now suffering the consequences, not the average pregnant women who has the odd glass of red on a Friday night. Given that the article goes on to quote an expert as saying that alcohol is more harmful than smoking, heroin or cocaine I think I'll stick with my occasional tipple.

Number3cometome · 03/03/2015 14:51

alteredbeast
ever been pregnant in a high rise flat, with a partner who beats you up daily?

Actually yes I have, he put me in hospital at 7 months pregnant.
Did it drive me to a glass of wine? No. So what's your point?

Lovemycatsandkids · 03/03/2015 14:53

I have personally never met a pregnant person or any person above 13 maybe who doesn't know drinking and smoking excessively in pregnancy can harm a foetus.

Never. Either at work as a nurse or personally and been a mum for 25 years.

Lovemycatsandkids · 03/03/2015 14:54

Yes gosh even mums in high rise flats

Very patronising.

alteredbeast · 03/03/2015 14:58

Of course poorer mums know. But maybe their life is so shit, a drink/fags gets them through the day. Doesn't make them a demon does it? Maybe help/compassion is warranted.

LittleBearPad · 03/03/2015 14:59

No one has seriously thought that guiness is good for you for thirty odd years.

Lovemycatsandkids · 03/03/2015 14:59

smug middle class

we exploit pregnant women everyday and harm their unborn babies

Er what?

Abortion harms unborn babies but personally I support any woman's right to do it 100%.

WorkingBling · 03/03/2015 14:59

The answer is that we do not know how much alcohol is safe in pregnancy.Their is no 'safe' amount apart from zero.I suspect every y person and every pregnancy is different

Actually, that's not true. We do know that 1 - 2 units per week has no impact on the baby. Hence guidelines saying this is okay. What's not clear is whether it's 3 units for 15 units that's the problem, although most would agree that it's likely to be the higher number.

One mum I know was unable to give up vodka and redbull and on a good day for her it was just redbull. She knew but couldn't give it up. That's one example.

If this is true, you're speaking about someone with a genuine addiction. Not just someone who is being selfish. I noticed that the stop smoking information given out by the NHS is really very gently worded - most likely because the NHS appreciates that smoking is an addiction and simply telling women to stop or they're idiots isn't going to endear them to people.

I do love all the women who come on here saying they never touched a drop and can't believe others would and how selfish they are. It's so ridiculous, and ill informed. Heck, my very highly experienced consultant told me to have a glass of wine a night in the third trimester!

Feckeggblue · 03/03/2015 15:01

OP have I misunderstood or are you saying you didn't notice you were pregnant until 10 weeks and carried on drinking, yet you don't understand women who drink through their whole pregnancy, it affects the baby and they state they didn't know?

You really don't understand that? Seems like you've had a comparable experience and would be more
Understanding?

ragged · 03/03/2015 15:01

I've seen cases of FAS in children who's mother didn't drink 'excessively' and certainly wasn't abusing alcohol. The damage was still done though...

Can you be more specific. Exactly how much were they drinking that still caused damage? And what were the signs of damage?

Lovemycatsandkids · 03/03/2015 15:02

altered beast

I agree with you that pregnant women are far too easy targets for judgy pants.

But mumsnet isn't all middle class you know.

Number3cometome · 03/03/2015 15:04

What Lovemycatsandkids said ^

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