To Feel Absolutely IRATE At The Lack Of Non-Pink Girls Clothes

[TooTiredToThinkOfAUsername]

Argh!!!!!

I felt fairly annoyed with gender specific clothes for DS. Now I have DD it makes me want to scream. She's not a fucking princess. She's hopefully going to be a strong independent woman.

Any tips for stores selling non pink non crap girls clothes would be MOST welcome :)

I like pink just fine but there's far too much of it on the high streets for girls. Like most modern problems, this is one that you can spend your way out of.

"To me, this idea of appropriate clothes and colours for boys and girls is all part of the same problem which includes the issue that a number of you have raised of gendered toys, it includes lazy prejudice about suitable activities and subjects to study, different skills that boys and girls are each supposed to possess... right through to different jobs and different pay..."

The thing to get angry about is the attitude. I could dress DD in nothing but green for a year - her paternal grandfather would still make comments about her not being allowed to play football or will be a crap driver because she's a girl. That got nipped in the bud straight away.

I was raised by very strong parents who had careers and told both my sister and I that we could do and be anything we wanted. And we did.

DD wants to be a pilot. Wearing pink at the age of 4 won't stop that from happening because the whole framework of her life isn't engineered to making her into a nurse or teacher or other "female" role. She hammers real nails into real wood using a real hammer while dressed as Rapunzel. She climbs trees with lip gloss on. She tinkers with the car with me (her mum) and watches F1 with both of us. She plays car racing games with her dad while wearing princess shoes.

Let kids be kids and don't limit their choice of clothing or activity!

DisappointedOne thank you - I really like your post. It is encouraging and reassuring. It's not the colour. It IS the attitude.

I haven't read the whole thread - I don't have a dd and very likely wont (age-related) but yes, whilst perusing the miniscule selections generally available for boys over the last 13 years - and glancing over at the rails of pink offerings for girls, I have felt the RAGE - is pink the only fucking colour I have silently asked. Whilst RAGING as if I had a DD myself, on behalf of dd's and their mums, silently gnashing.

Dunno, maybe it's linked to some consumerist, economic, algorithmic thingimy like pink is a really cheap colour to dye things or lets start the girls on their shopping frenzy really early like, at birth.

Why is pink ok for your DS and not your DD?

i agree with you disappointed one it is the environment and culture a child is brought up in that is so important not a colour or an item of clothing.

it is great your dd does all those things. i would like to point out it is still equally great if a girl likes to do traditionally girly things. some children choose to enjoy those activities and that is just as valid a choice. i have always given my dd a wide range of clothes, toys, activities etc and she has always gravitated towards traditional roles and more gentle activities. she is great at drama and singing but not too great with climbing and sports and things that are a bit more rough and tumble.

all children are different an its important we as parents embrace that.

my dd doesn't have anyone around her who spouts gender stereotypes, she has always told she can do what she wants in life as long as she works hard and puts her mind to it.

I thought this before my dd was born but I've found lots of clothes in different colours. Sainsburys seem to have the most non pink stuff that I've seen. Most of the other shops have some non pink clothes but they do seem drowned out by the pink, they are there though you just need to hunt. I've had nice bits from Ebay too.

Never thought I'd say it but dd really suits pink so does have pink items despite my initial resistance. I cannot however tolerate anything with a slogan, kitten, cupcake, tutu etc etc on it or any reference to princesses. . . .

I bought ds a lovely snuffly coat when he was coming up for a year old, it was a pinky-purple or purply-pink depending on how hopeful you were - and I knew I was being audacious buying it - just a bit too pinky but I hoped it was purply enough as I really liked it. Going round a supermarket an elderly gent came up to mention what a lovely baby BOY I had with an emphasis on boy. I knew it was the coat. The CM after one day of the coat outright refused to accept him if he wore the "pink" coat again as it was too embarrassing in public. I capitulated to this as she was generally brilliant.

I'm not describing a northern town in the 1970s but Brighton in the early 2000s.

We all need a greater colour choice in life - can't do any harm.

My dd has 2 brothers. It's made her extremely girly. But she still loves to be a 'ninja princess'

GotToBe - I think it's to do with it going against what is supposed to be the correct way and because pink is broadening horizons for a boy yet pink is limiting for a girl.

NB - having read the posts on this thread I do now recognise that pink doesn't HAVE to be limiting. Pink can be one of many colours used. I am still, however, somewhat put out at how MUCH pink there is out there for girls.

mommy2ash - yes you have a very good point. I'm all up for traditional female activities provided that both DS and DD are offered them and made to feel they're valid choices for either of them. In amongst aggravating people on mumsnet I do enjoy a number of supposedly female activities such as cooking and knitting... as well as some supposedly male activities and some so called neutral activities.

Float - great story :) thank you!

I honestly don't see the issue here myself. You can surely just pick a few pieces from the boys collections?! Lands end do some good 'girl' t-shirts with space etc on them. But I also think there is a lot about anyway that is non pink at the moment in lots of collections for girls. I think you are being a little unreasonable. Surely it is about choice? I wonder if you have a different concern, a wider one about gender stereotyping, and for that i actually wholeheartedly agree with you. Boys should be able to nurture and care, play shop and dolls if they want to and girls should have the opportunity to build, construct, invent and explode stuff too!

DD wants to be a pilot. Wearing pink at the age of 4 won't stop that from happening because the whole framework of her life isn't engineered to making her into a nurse or teacher or other "female" role

We've always allowed our children to believe they can be whatever they want to be. DS1(20) said at a very young age he wanted to be a soldier and he is.

DS2(18) has wanted to be a nurse for ages. He has a place at university to start in September. When he was about 13/14 we had to complain about 3 or 4 female teachers who would giggle and say "you don't, why do you want to do that for? You're joking!" and generally ridiculing him for choosing a "female" dominated profession.

Yanbu, but there is nice non-pink stuff out there. DD wears very little pink, very much on purpose. I've found Gap to be the best (most other clothes are from there); also JL, M&S, some bits and pieces from Mamas and Papas and Vertbaudet. Mini club at Boots was good a couple of years back, but has gone a bit pink and Peppa Pig recently. I don't ban pink, but not keen on it myself and DD doesn't really suit it anyway. We inherited a lot of frilly pink and white things from my niece (who aas a tiny dark-haired baby), and DD just looked silly in them - she was a chunky blonde thing with great puffy cheeks and broderie anglaise dresses looked ridiculous! Now she's petite and very girly-looking but still looks better in navy, red, green, etc.

Why can't a princess be a strong independent woman? would you say a prince can't be strong and independent?
why do you perceive their to be a difference?

there obviously before the pedantic vultures descend!

I don't perceive princesses as strong and independent because, historically, they have not been. They are the addendum to the prince. The accessory. The vagina. They are, typically, rescued by the prince / hero / stable boy.

Now I'm quite happy to accept that one can wear pink and frills and still be a strong independent woman.

Princes aren't exactly independent to be fair - tied in with family duties and heir to all manner of nonsense. But this isn't a monarchy debate :)

And when I say "historically" I use that in the loose sense that includes fairy tales.

Lots of people would say princess Diana & princess Anne to name a couple, are strong types

Possibly - but they're hardly aspirational. And not what I'd call independent.

Marie Curie, Fanny Waterman, Mary Berry, Hilary Mantel, Anna Ford, Jessica Ennis Hill... Now that's more like it :)

I think Princesses basically means Disney ones, not Diana and Anne (to children under 10). The Frozen sisters are pretty cool though, and the Brave one as far as I recall.

I can't think of any Disney Princess who wore lots of pink.

Cinderella had a pink dress. Aurora's dress is pink.