to ask if you found out the gender or not?

[turquoiseamethyst]

expecting DC3 in July, and the 20 week scan is fast approaching.

I am dithering about whether to find out the gender or not. I am a little concerned as I have to admit I do have a preference, I know it won't matter when he or she arrives but I'm focusing on it heavily at the moment.

On the one hand I think if I find out and it's my "preferred" gender I'll feel relieved but I think I may also feel sad, as if I rejected the other gender. I know that sounds stupid; I am when I am pregnant. It does also make organising things a bit easier. I can also tell DC1 (dc2 is still only a baby) whether they are having a brother or a sister.

On the other, if it isn't my preferred gender I won't feel "disappointed" when I give birth. But then I don't think I would anyway.

I suppose I am just interested in what others did and why :)

We were tempted a bit each time with our 3 DC but didn't in the end. I had an overwhelming, unshakeable feeling that our first was a girl from the moment I knew I was pregnant, and that second baby was a boy (both right) but no strong instincts with DC3, though if pushed I would have guessed girl (also right).

It can be a long wait to 'find out' but I do prefer the excitement of finding out in that beautiful moment when the baby first emerges into the world (I'm still breastfeeding DD2, so fairly rose-tinted about it all still).

A friend once said that deep down, most women 'know' what sex the baby is, and if pushed to guess, if you had to bet the house, most would guess right. Obv only 50/50, and God knows loads will disagree, but that was true each time for me.

Didn't find out. Guessed wrong all three times. Lovely surprise each time!

I was in your shoe's! DD 1 and 2 I didn't find out. Didn't care wanted the mystery.

DC3 now 7mo I was undecided. I knew that DHs family kind of wanted a boy. He didn't really care and I felt like I should want a boy but didn't care. Anyway thought I'd never found out before so we would this time and really regretted it! I didn't care DC3 was another girl but every bugger else did a "oh another girl? " like I was going to be disappointed! Pissed me off so I started lying and saying we didn't know.

So no I would never find out!

I love mumsnet!

You can ask a seemingly innocent question about whether you found out/intend to find out the sex of your baby...and get so many divisive opinions, with a good helping of judgement & sniffiness thrown in!!

*shoes erroneous apostrophe

I didn't find out. Had no preference either way and I knew if I found out and told people I would be overwhelmed with pink or blue clothes, which I really didn't want.

I didn't. For dc3 I was really tempted, especially on the day of the scan, but I was glad later we waited. It makes more sense to find out, like pp said it is just knowledge, preparation, bonding, you will find out at some stage, however on the day he was born it felt exciting and a revelation. I've never known pre-birth so maybe it would feel that way anyway. I'm 22 weeks now and will not find out again until birth. I have a slight preference this time but each time I seemed to 'get over' this nearer the birth, so guessing this will happen again.
My friends DH really wanted a girl so so much that they found out, so they had time to get used to the idea if it was a boy, I can see that would be a good idea. Another friend had boy, boy and planned last pregnancy so even though she didn't mind, she found out, and told everyone. So they weren't having to explain they were delighted with another boy just after the birth.

I did, but didn't want others to know.

With DS1 when we were asked if we knew we said we did but were keeping it to ourselves. Well bloody hell, you'd think we had done it to deliberately insult them or something! People we barely knew were offended by us not telling them.

So with DS2 we lied through our teeth and said we didn't know.

We didn't find out as I wanted a surprise. It was like a little something extra to look forward to. I would do the same next time too!

First, I knew my first was a girl. My mother's instinct was so strong and powerful. I'd picked out a lovely little dress to buy her and decided to just get official confirmation at the scan, though I absolutely knew in my heart she was a girl and there was no mistake.

When DS rolled over during the scan and parted his legs 'ta-day!' so that even we could see he was definitely a boy, I was struck dumb with total surprise. I have come to realise my 'mother's instinct' is crap. I was wrong about the next baby too. And I have a 100% failure rate at predicting the sex of other people's babies too, which is sort of impressive in itself I think!

I absolutely cannot believe anyone feels less excited about anyone's baby due to knowing the sex beforehand! Why on earth would it diminish the anticipation at all? I found it frustrating when my sister didn't find out, wildly exciting when my SIL did and we knew a nephew was coming. The arrival of both babies was an absolute joy and the idea that anyone would have been 'so what?' about the birth of the baby whose sex was pre-confirmed is mind boggling to me, I honestly cannot think why or how anyone could feel that way about the birth of a brand new baby.