Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for thinking my friend is BU to enforce strict routine on 3 week old?

174 replies

SandysMam · 26/02/2015 21:25

I have a friend who has a 3 week old DS. She is insistent that her DS follow a well known authors strict routine aimed at contentment and is getting frustrated that he won't play ball and sometimes cries and wakes her up at night!! He's 3 weeks old FFS, AIBU that she boils my piss and I feel sorry for her DS??

OP posts:
Janethegirl · 26/02/2015 21:31

He's a young babe, they don't know the 'rules'. Give him a break ffs. My dd was very good and did sleep through but that was at 6 weeks, my Ds was a fucking nightmare tho' and didn't sleep through till around 3 years.

Cunderthunt · 26/02/2015 21:31

YADNBU she sounds like a nightmare! I had a friend exactly like this, she made my ring itch. Can't tolerate smuggers.

kitchentableagain · 26/02/2015 21:36

I hide that book in waterstones. I put it in gardening or in modern philosophy section.

YANBU. Her first baby? We've all got to go to hell in pur own way I suppose.

PilchardPrincess · 26/02/2015 21:38

I think YANBU and she is BU.

Original poster
SandysMam · 26/02/2015 21:39

Thanks, I feel like I should support her choices but I just want to pick the poor little thing up and give it a cuddle. My friend sounds like your friend CunderThunt, very smug!!

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 26/02/2015 21:41

Any way you can take the baby and give it back when it's, say, 8?

KERALA1 · 26/02/2015 21:42

We had this. Dh was handed a screaming hungry 3 week old to distract her because it wasn't "time" for her feed. He is always scrupulously polite but ended up saying to to my friend your baby is really hungry, she can't tell the time and hasn't read the book please for the love of god just feed her!

hopelesslydevotedtoGu · 26/02/2015 21:42

Ridiculous. Baby was living a completely different schedule in her womb for nine months, and she is frustrated that he hasn't adjusted to an adult timetable in three weeks?!

If she is receptive you could tell her about the Fourth Trimester idea, I found that very helpful. Or buy her Sarah Ockwell Smith or Dr Sears books.

FryOneFatManic · 26/02/2015 21:43

I thought even a certain author didn't start the routine younger than 6 weeks.

husbanddoestheironing · 26/02/2015 21:43

Can't help thinking that eventually the baby will 'win' (I hope anyway Wink )

hooker29 · 26/02/2015 21:43

...the only problem with these books is that the babies haven't read them....

PacificDogwood · 26/02/2015 21:45

She will learn.

hopelesslydevotedtoGu · 26/02/2015 21:46

Thing is, she will struggle with this routine for months, poor baby will be confused about why he is forced to stay awake when he is tired and be left hungry, then he will decide the world is inflexible and give in and go along with it, and she will crow about how fantastic her routine is for everymore.

calmexterior · 26/02/2015 21:48

Hate this author but.... YABU it's up to your friend if she wants to follow her, maddening as it is! I'm sure her baby will be ok. I know a few of these babies and they turned out fine (!)

TheOddity · 26/02/2015 21:50

I think unreasonable is the wrong word. Delusional us more apt.

iwantittobepink · 26/02/2015 21:53

I think yab a bit u. I had a routine straight away from early and we get on very well with it, I was flexible when she was little but I tried to have some structure! Even if it's not what you'd do, no ones the same Smile

Mintyy · 26/02/2015 21:54

She is totally bu to "enforce" a strict routine on a 3 week old. Poor baby Sad.

But I'm quite a fan of routines myself, I have to say! Can you encourage her to relax the rules for a few months and then to look for clues in her baby's sleeping/feeding habits to build a routine on?

I didn't do Gina Ford - although one thing I read in her book which helped me enormously is that babies like to sleep again 2 hours after waking up for the day, I had no idea whatsoever about that - but my babies were in reasonably routine routines from about 3 months on. However, they did still feed in the night (and of course I expected that) and their naps didn't always have to be at home in their cot in a darkened room while I ate a nutritious lunch with a large glass of water Wink.

There are routines and routines, tbh!

trilbydoll · 26/02/2015 21:55

She's just setting herself up for failure though, and she'll get more and more frustrated.

PacificDogwood · 26/02/2015 21:57

YANBU to be deeply uncomfortable with this.

YABU to make it your business.

Your friend is either blessed with a baby that will fall in to a routine easily and this will work for her, or she will struggle with it and it will be awful.
Either way, she has to find her own way in this parenting lark.

SisterMoonshine · 26/02/2015 21:58

It's not for me, at all. And it seems rotten on the babies.
But my friend had twins and did this. Who am I to criticise?
Some people just cope which ever way they best can.

Blankiefan · 26/02/2015 22:00

I couldn't have done it but I know people who did and all got their contented babies / now toddlers and older. Doesn't seem to have harmed any of them.

I think YABU. her baby, her rules

if she really is your friend, be there with non-judgemental tea and sympathy if it doesn't go to plan

PacificDogwood · 26/02/2015 22:01

Oh yes, if you value her friendship, don't say 'I told you so' when/if it all goes pear-shaped...

CunningCat · 26/02/2015 22:01

Poor baby. YANBU.

RabbitSaysWoof · 26/02/2015 22:02

It's none of your business. I know 4 of these gf products too and they do sleep well.
It's not for me, I'm not that organised but I don't feel sorry for these dc's they are happy kids.

Nellagain · 26/02/2015 22:04

Yabu. Your friend is 3 weeks post natal. A bit of support wouldn't go amiss.