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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report this childminder?

232 replies

Happyyellowcar · 26/02/2015 21:22

Was at playgroup today with DD and DS1. A local childminder was also there with several small children in tow. I see her around a lot as she goes to many of the same groups as I do. One of her charges was maybe a year old and obviously just toddling. During snack time I was standing behind DS2, holding DD whilst chatting to a friend when suddenly the little toddler who happened to be sitting next to DS1, toppled head first off her chair and onto the wooden floor. She landed on her head and her neck actually crunched. I hadn't even noticed she was there until she fell off as I was trying to stop DS2 from pinching all the breadsticks. Another mum picked up the now screaming toddler and looked around for the childminder who was sitting quite far from the table, chatting yo her friend. She was actually turned away from the table and on the far side from where this toddler was sitting. She was passed the toddler and have her a cuddle but I'm sure didn't realise how serious her fall had been. I feel really incensed on behalf of the toddler's mother who must think that her child is in safe hands whilst she is at work. I've used a childminder myself with DS2 and the thought that this might have happened to him is sickening. No mother would have left their own child on a chair at such a young age without keeping a closer eye, surely? How else is she being neglectful? AIBU to want to report her?

OP posts:
Happyyellowcar · 27/02/2015 20:48

Pretty feet - please read at least some of the posts before you comment! I have already said I won't be reporting and thanks for the advice! Sheesh!

OP posts:
PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 20:54

You said the neck "crunched" isnt that a noise?

PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 20:57

its a fast paced thread OP and by the time I post another few have managed before me.

You do sound a bit fragile there OP and you were the one to use report in your OP so dont take it out on me Grin

lem73 · 27/02/2015 21:08

Op I think you are right. The childminder wasn't paying sufficient attention to the child but I would only consider reporting her if you saw that kind of thing happen repeatedly.

Rjae · 27/02/2015 21:08

I think you did the best you can OP. Talking to the cm is about your only option at the moment.

Happyyellowcar · 27/02/2015 21:31

Pretty feet - thanks I'm not fragile except that I have a new DD and am thinking about finding a cm myself in the not too distant future and so maybe that's why this incident has bothered my so much. I am fed up that there is so much petty nit-picking going on (not by you!). When I said crunch I was thinking more like a concertina crunching up or a fan when you close it rather than the sound. Her neck did bend at a funny angle but obviously wasn't broken as she was moving straight away. I certainly have never stated that I heard a crack - because I didn't! And yes I did use report in the title because I was asking if it was something which should be reported...I'm a teacher myself and so am ultra aware when it comes to risk assessments / child supervision etc so that's why I was asking for opinions as I can be quick to judge.

OP posts:
TwoOddSocks · 27/02/2015 21:36

For what it's worth OP I don't think you sound fragile at all. It's annoying to start a thread asking for advice about a particular issue and get loads of irrelevant criticism. Most people would get annoyed and some of the messages directed at you and others are plain nasty.

TwoOddSocks · 27/02/2015 21:38

Also on a separate note is it really that bad to report someone for a minor issue. Surely if I rang up SS and reported someone for something trivial like giving their 5 year old a few too many wotsits or something they would just not follow up the case. Or is that not correct?

PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 21:41

Wow! I'm really surprised most posters think it's ok. I must be over-reacting then

To report her is OTT. This was your opening line and in my opinion you have a rather judgemental attitude.

ghostyslovesheep · 27/02/2015 21:50

OP now look what you have done

Adsy and I agree with each other so now the universe will implode, time will eat it's self and we will all cease to exist

well done Hmm

Happyyellowcar · 27/02/2015 22:01

Hehehehe I did just say I can be quick to judge hence the asking for advice in the first place Grin
Aren't we all judging one another all of the time? Pretty feet - you have just judged my judgemental attitude for starters !

OP posts:
PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 22:30

errr ok OP. We have "opinions" of course. My "opinion" was you were judgemental Grin

PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 22:35

You were asking whether you needed to act on your opinion and it was concluded that you didnt. If you had have then that would have been a "judgemental" thing to do Grin

Anerak · 28/02/2015 07:42

i think you definitely need to report her!! Imagine it was your child, she should be looking after those children at all times!!!! That anyone could claim this as normal is shocking to me

insancerre · 28/02/2015 07:52

She can't report her, Anerak, she doesn't know her name or who she should be reporting to
The thread is a bit hysterical
Child climbs on chair and falls off
Its hardly front page news

tobysmum77 · 28/02/2015 08:10

It had never occured to me that cms shouldn't behave in the same way as everyone else at toddler groups until I read otherwise on mn.

They need a break just like a parent does, yes it's their job but life with 3 preschoolers in tow is a hard one!

I help to run a group btw and absolutely honestly the ones who I have to stop escaping through the doors/ find wandering around crying are never the mindees, always ones there with mums.

Happyyellowcar · 28/02/2015 09:19

Insancerre - if I put my mind to it I daresay I could find out her name as some of my friends probably know her. I'm sure I could also figure out who to report her to - it's not rocket science Grin
Tobysmum77- can we honestly "take a break" from supervising small children? Especially if they are other people's children? Is it really ok to decide to have a break and sit and chat because we're a bit tired or whatever and therefore leave a 1yr old unattended around a snack table? I don't think so.

OP posts:
insancerre · 28/02/2015 09:41

Who would you report it to?
Ofsted are only concerned with breaches of the eyfs
The police or social services wouldn't be interested
If you are concerned that children are in danger then maybe you could ask the organisers of the toddler group to make sure children are supervised or ask them to take the chairs away if they care unsuitable

CrispyFern · 28/02/2015 09:42

I know what you meant by the neck crunch. I saw my DD do it one time at gymnastics when she kind of landed on her head / face with all her body's weight on top.
It was horrible to see and I had my heart in my mouth.

I think you have coped very well with all the needless bitchiness on this thread. And to go against the grain, I think you should report this, absolutely, because of this was my one year old baby, would I want to know? Yes.
Kids fall, they have accidents, but I'd hope my childminder would at least see the fall and be able to react.
She's not the CM I would want looking after my baby, and how would I ever know that as the parent if nobody ever reported their concerns?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 28/02/2015 09:50

Rjae. Using "Mrtumble will explain to you" is pretty much along same lines as called someone "retarded" as an insult. Please don't.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 28/02/2015 09:51

Grr *calling.

lem73 · 28/02/2015 09:52

Fwiw I see a lot of childminders paying insufficient children to the children they are paid to look after. I have also seen parents who do the same with their own children and I'm not happy when I see that either. However the childminders are at work. They are being paid to look after these children. There was a clique of childminders who would sit together and gossip and act annoyed when the children they were being paid to look after. It used to infuriate me.

HSMMaCM · 28/02/2015 09:58

Ofsted are interested in safety and risk assessment. They could certainly suspend a childminders registration while they investigated though, so it's a big thing.

Happyyellowcar · 28/02/2015 10:07

Even if I only reported it to the parents then they could decide for themselves. Oh no am in two minds again now.

OP posts:
insancerre · 28/02/2015 10:16

How do you know that the cm hasn't already told the parents?
I think it would be really unfair to put the parents in the position of not trusting the cm because of something you have seen and made a judgement about