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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this childminder?

232 replies

Happyyellowcar · 26/02/2015 21:22

Was at playgroup today with DD and DS1. A local childminder was also there with several small children in tow. I see her around a lot as she goes to many of the same groups as I do. One of her charges was maybe a year old and obviously just toddling. During snack time I was standing behind DS2, holding DD whilst chatting to a friend when suddenly the little toddler who happened to be sitting next to DS1, toppled head first off her chair and onto the wooden floor. She landed on her head and her neck actually crunched. I hadn't even noticed she was there until she fell off as I was trying to stop DS2 from pinching all the breadsticks. Another mum picked up the now screaming toddler and looked around for the childminder who was sitting quite far from the table, chatting yo her friend. She was actually turned away from the table and on the far side from where this toddler was sitting. She was passed the toddler and have her a cuddle but I'm sure didn't realise how serious her fall had been. I feel really incensed on behalf of the toddler's mother who must think that her child is in safe hands whilst she is at work. I've used a childminder myself with DS2 and the thought that this might have happened to him is sickening. No mother would have left their own child on a chair at such a young age without keeping a closer eye, surely? How else is she being neglectful? AIBU to want to report her?

OP posts:
AndThenISaid · 27/02/2015 17:45

A toddler falls off a chair and is fine afterwards! I really don't think OFSTED or the mother would be particularly interested.this sort of thing happens all the time with kids this age.

RolandRatRocks · 27/02/2015 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

adsy · 27/02/2015 18:14

oi, stop taking the mick out of Rjae she's got a'levels and everything.
If only I was as clever......

IamSlave · 27/02/2015 18:34

Op I have not read whole thread just page one.

I am also not sure if you should report, however I think you should keep an eye on her and if she is neglecting her charges to have a good chat, yes I think you should mention something.

Its a very laissez faire attitude to have with other peoples DC.
what if the child showed signs of concussion later but she wouldnt know as she didnt see the fall, and not just this time but obv the other times she has a good chat with her back turned.

I am also stunned people think this is OK. If a friends child when she goes to the loo, I watch like a hawk and feel a great deal of responsibility even for a few moments and no one year old should be left alone. AT ALL, and esp NOT ROUND FOOD.

IamSlave · 27/02/2015 18:35

BTW I have seen excellent CM on the circuit and shit shocking ones too.

Viviennemary · 27/02/2015 18:36

I didn't know there was a GCSE in law. But I watch Judge Rinder most days and also like Judge John Deed. So that absolutely gives me a right to comment on anything legal.

Ijustdontknowwhattodowithmysel · 27/02/2015 18:48

I would stand behind one year old and watch carefully for a while host of reasons. I think it's pretty shitty and would be horrified if I was paying someone who let a kid that small eat at a table unsupervised.

But saying that, even if she was there what could she have done? It's just a bit crap that she didn't even see what happened.

For me, the issue wouldn't be the fall, the issue would've that she hadn't noticed!!!

Ijustdontknowwhattodowithmysel · 27/02/2015 18:48

Would be

Rjae · 27/02/2015 19:48

Don't worry adsy et al. Mr tumble will be along soon to explain the difference between a parents duty of care and a paid professionals duty of care wrt negligence.

I wasn't going to say any more (as I've already said most CMs behave professionally) but frankly a registered childminder having no idea of what constitutes negligence terrifies me not to mention having a dig at me Luckily I have no need of CMs at the present time but I wonder what the mothers perspective would have been had she been aware of the incident?

I do believe they do GCSEs in child care, maybe some CMs should try one if they are condoning neglecting a toddler and putting her at risk.

adsy · 27/02/2015 19:52

The mother would probably come straight to you for your legal advice. I know I would. I can't imagine many barristers are more qualified than your gcse in law

Bluestocking · 27/02/2015 20:02

I've got an O-level in geography and can run through the formation of a glacier if anyone's interested?

adsy · 27/02/2015 20:07

*bluestocking8 I could still do a passable set of diagrams illustrating the formation of ox bow lakes. Surprisingly hasn't come in hugely useful over the last 30 years but you never know !

HSMMaCM · 27/02/2015 20:07

I haven't got a gcse in childcare, but I have got an honours degree and teaching qualification. Does that count? Glad you watched the next time you saw her op, to decide how she normally behaves around children. I would always stand behind a one year olds chair, but I am shocked by the number of parents who try to put my little ones on chairs, when I have deliberately left them on the floor, so I can sort out the older children first. That's why I asked if someone else had put the child on the chair although the cm should have noticed

LynetteScavo · 27/02/2015 20:08

I've seen lots of childminders being what I would consider neglectful st toddler groups, but nothing untoward had ever happened to their charges.

I've also know helicopter parents who have had DC have nasty falls right under their nose.

If you generally feel this cm is crap, then please do report her... If it was just a one off snap shot then get a grip because this could have happened whole in the care of any nanny, grandparent, nursery professional, mum, dad or Aunty.

LynetteScavo · 27/02/2015 20:08

Do toddlers necks actually "crunch"?

HSMMaCM · 27/02/2015 20:12

I think op was referring to the angle of the child's neck when she said crunch, rather than the sound it made ?

Heels99 · 27/02/2015 20:17

She said she heard it crack. But didn't mention it to anyone.

PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 20:19

I presume the child fell off a tiny chair being a playgroup. This happens all the time. The chairs are very small for a reason.

YABU

Original poster
Happyyellowcar · 27/02/2015 20:28

Yes as I said earlier the way her neck bent after taking the weight of her upside down body was like a crunch to me. Some posters have been fixated on my choice of words rather than the real point of the op. And I'm not asking for anyone's opinion about whether the cm was negligent as anyone with a grain of sense would agree that sitting chatting, turned away from her mindees at a snack table, esp when the youngest is still a baby, is of course neglecting her duty at that particular time. My question was about whether I should be reporting that negligence. As I said I see her at lots of groups and she is in the sitting and chatting category rather than the getting involved category. Sitting and chatting is probably fine 90% of the time if you are confident your kids are safe but not if you are looking after a mobile baby - pretty much any scenario is dangerous then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happyyellowcar · 27/02/2015 20:32

No heels99. Now you are making things up. And missing the point of the whole thread unfortunately.

OP posts:
PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 20:39

If you thought the child had broken its neck then as others have said, dealt with it immediately. You are getting stick due to thinking it was a bad fall and doing nothing about it other than come on here and ask whether you should report the CM.

How on earth you could have "heard" this is beyond me in a very busy environment.

Children have very soft bones.

Original poster
Happyyellowcar · 27/02/2015 20:40

No the chairs weren't those tiny ones - they were big enough for the adults to comfortably sit on. Wooden and sturdy, a bit like old fashioned school chairs. But really a fair few of you are missing the point - does it matter how large the chairs were or which part of her anatomy bore the brunt of the fall or whether she fell into a breadstick or what exactly was said to the cm afterwards? The point is it would have been preventable if only the cm had supervised the child properly.

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 27/02/2015 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrettyFeet · 27/02/2015 20:42

To report a person over one incident is a tad OTT dont you think?

Original poster
Happyyellowcar · 27/02/2015 20:46

Pretty feet - for the final time I did not say that I heard a crack. I have already explained what I meant by using the word "crunch". Twice. Heels99 is stirring by making things up now . Not sure why. I did speak to her when I had the chance to double check if she knew how serious the fall was. And today I felt very relieved to see the little girl seemingly fine Smile
I 'm getting tired of constantly repeating myself and having to justify my actions when I think I did as much as I could do at the time. The other mums present did a lot of muttering to each other about the incident but I didn't see any of them speaking to the cm - indeed nobody else did as she hadn't realised what had happened until I talked to her.

OP posts:
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