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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To report this childminder?

232 replies

Happyyellowcar · 26/02/2015 21:22

Was at playgroup today with DD and DS1. A local childminder was also there with several small children in tow. I see her around a lot as she goes to many of the same groups as I do. One of her charges was maybe a year old and obviously just toddling. During snack time I was standing behind DS2, holding DD whilst chatting to a friend when suddenly the little toddler who happened to be sitting next to DS1, toppled head first off her chair and onto the wooden floor. She landed on her head and her neck actually crunched. I hadn't even noticed she was there until she fell off as I was trying to stop DS2 from pinching all the breadsticks. Another mum picked up the now screaming toddler and looked around for the childminder who was sitting quite far from the table, chatting yo her friend. She was actually turned away from the table and on the far side from where this toddler was sitting. She was passed the toddler and have her a cuddle but I'm sure didn't realise how serious her fall had been. I feel really incensed on behalf of the toddler's mother who must think that her child is in safe hands whilst she is at work. I've used a childminder myself with DS2 and the thought that this might have happened to him is sickening. No mother would have left their own child on a chair at such a young age without keeping a closer eye, surely? How else is she being neglectful? AIBU to want to report her?

OP posts:

ispyfispi · 26/02/2015 22:23

I think yanbu, at that age closer supervision is necessary. She could have choked never mind fall off the chair. I know it's easy to get distracted for a second but it sounds like the cm wasn't even trying to supervise ?? I've wondered who you'd report a childminder to, there's one at school pick up with so many kids and several of them (preschoolers) frequently run ahead to the car, it worries me....

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/02/2015 22:26

It doesn't matter one jot what other posters think. Go with your instincts... Love MN as I do but only on here would you be flamed and face critic for being concerned about a child. Hey I hope to God your concerns are unfounded

Notagainmun · 26/02/2015 22:31

I know there are bad childminders out there (just as there are bad parents) but sometimes I think that they are easy targets. If I child with a parent falls in playgroup all the mums sympathise but if the same happens with a CM it's all raised eyebrows.

I am a childminder and I over heard one mum say to another don't use her she has a shifty look when you try talking to her. I am unable to maintain eye contact during conversation as I am constantly scanning the area checking on my two mindees.

I think YABU.

Original poster

Happyyellowcar · 26/02/2015 22:33

There have been some odd responses.. I don't know her name or who I would even report her to but am glad she isn't "looking after" my kids. DH thinks I should befriend her in order to try and talk to her about her methods or say something to the playgroup leader but I don't see how that would help. Aren't childminders supposed to be trained in child safety or something?

OP posts:

Original poster

Happyyellowcar · 26/02/2015 22:37

Notagainmum - this isn't supposed to be a childminder -bashing thread. As I said I used one myself and was v happy. I will do do again once I 'm back at work. You are keeping an eye on your charges and so are doing your job! The lady I am talking about really wasn't watching at all - I guess I would feel equally annoyed if it was another mum..

OP posts:

Notagainmun · 26/02/2015 22:41

If you really feel she needs to be reported then it is Ofsted. She will probably be suspended from working until an inquiry is carried out. Her customers will need to find alternative care and the children will have to cope with an unexpected and possibly upsetting settling in period but if it was a serious fall due to neglect then of course you must report.

WayfaringStranger · 26/02/2015 22:45

Odd responses because they disagree with you? You asked if YABU and some people said yes.

LikeIcan · 26/02/2015 22:50

YABU.
Children fall over everywhere, at home with their parents, at nursery, at school, & shock horror, even with a child-minder.
You say you see this woman a lot as she goes to many of the same groups you do, well that proves she's taking her charges out & about & hasn't got them stuck in front of the TV watching CBeebies.

You can't be watching a child every single second.

helensburgh · 26/02/2015 22:51

I completely agree with you, it's unacceptable.
YANBU, a one year old on. Chair , shouldn't happen.
Unfortunately mumsnet Is full of people who,love to disagree with reason.
Nutters!

Original poster

Happyyellowcar · 26/02/2015 22:53

I think it's odd if people disagree with me that she should have been supervising the child on the chair but am looking for opinions on whether it's something which should be reported. Lots of people disagreeing that should report it so I can accept IABU about that aspect. But I def think IANBU that she should have been supervising properly. Thanks all!

OP posts:

monkina · 26/02/2015 23:26

Its difficult for others to offer an opinion, as we wernt there so cannot attest to how serious it was.

If you know who the child's parents are you could mention it to them, then its up to them to decide how they deal with it.

countessmarkyabitch · 26/02/2015 23:28

I don't see the point of this. Your query is if you should report her. But since you don't even know her name you can not report her, even if you knew who to report her to, which you don't.
So, er, what?

Viviennemary · 26/02/2015 23:31

These kinds of accidents do happen unfortunately. And sometimes Mothers at playgroup don't notice things but usually somebody is nearby to prevent this kind of thing happening. But I agree a childminder should be aware she is being paid and her first duty is to look after the children not to chat to her friend.

PossumPoo · 26/02/2015 23:34

I think you should report OP. I agree that the CM wasn't doing her job. And of course every child falls but as the CM was no where near her and didn't even know she had fallen I'd think she wasn't doing her job.

maddening · 26/02/2015 23:41

Whether a mother or cm if you have tiny toddlers at a play group you really should be watching them - Yanbu to think the cm should not have been spending her time as a paid carer chatting and ignoring the children she is paid to mind - reporting or not I don't know but these types of childminder really did put me off using them.

mimishimmi · 27/02/2015 02:52

YANBU to some extent. I was behind mine like a hawk at that age for the same reason yet I didn't have more than one at a time to watch out for (six year gap). She may have been chatting to her friend but also keeping an eye on three of her other charges at the same time. Unfortunately this kid slipped the net and these things just happen when you've got that many kids to watch out for - I'm not sure much would come of reporting it to be honest.

Yerazig · 27/02/2015 03:10

I don't understand...report her for what exactly. Yes she should of been looking and concentrating on where all her children where. But if you did actually hear the child's neck "crunch" why on earth didn't you just take 2seconds to Pop over to her and let her know.

PopularNamesInclude · 27/02/2015 03:33

Yanbu. She is on the clock and should be watching the child. Accidents do happen but that one was easily preventable, and would have been prevented if she was doing her job.

roundtable · 27/02/2015 06:49

Yanbu. I see similar behaviour at toddler groups with certain childminders and it makes me cringe.

Mind you I see the same thing with certain parents too so maybe yabu.

I've confused myself

Lepaskilf · 27/02/2015 06:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aridane · 27/02/2015 06:58

I think YWBU at the time not to do something about it - either by pointing out the situation to the childminder before the accident or telling her afterwards.

Original poster

Happyyellowcar · 27/02/2015 07:13

Aridane - I did say up thread that I did speak to her at the end and point out that the child had fallen on her head, which she hadn't realised so maybe I'm not so U after all!

OP posts:

Droflove · 27/02/2015 07:28

I had a childminder I was never 100% on but it as for a short time and I was new to the area so couldnt ask anyone and nothing was wrong other than her seeming a bit cool and my little fella crying at drop off. He was 1 and stayed with her for 6 months. Later a friend of mine said her very close friend was a mum at the same groups my cm brought him to each day and when she found out I used her, said OMG I would never use that lady she ignore the kids and isn't very kind to them. My now nanny goes to the same groups and has indicated the same about this cm. I can trust these opinions, they have come from good sources. I feel terribly guilty about him being there but he's a happy well adjusted child. My point is that not keeping an eye on kids at playgroup does not sound bad but the u definable lack of care for charges is terrible.

adsy · 27/02/2015 07:39

you heard her neck "crunch"??!! really? That kind of implies a broken neck. I'm sure that would have been notice by now by the parents, what with the child being paralysed now.

fairylightsbackintheloft · 27/02/2015 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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