AIBU to think that my Dad is out of line and should back off on this?

[Marmiteandjamislush]

As background: It is Lent and we are very observant.

My Dad is here, as he is every day teaching the boys. I was setting the table for lunch and I put out a jug of water. DS2 (just 4) starts whinging that he doesn't want water, he wants juice. Now, to me he is just being a pain because we don't have juice with meals as a matter of course anyway, he has been very willful over the last few days anyway, because this is the first Lent that we have made him do 'properly' in that we have said no to anything sweet, fried or leaven at all and no red meat. I don't think this is a problem, his brother is just 6 and has done it from the same age. Anyway, so I serve the meal, veg broth and Matza. DS2 is still whining and refusing to eat, saying, 'I'm too thirsty, I'm too thirsty, Meenor!' His name for my Dad.

Dad then says to me 'How can you see your child suffer like this? I never denied you a drink as a child.'

I answered that I am not denying him anything, he is choosing not to drink the water and is only playing up to an audience.

A little later, [DS2still whining] I nip out to the loo, and come back to find DS2 has got a glass of squash!

AIBU to think that my Dad should have stuck to my rules in my own house?

FYI, kitchen has been cleaned for Lent, so he had to purposefully walk through to my office the garage to get the juice from the child inaccessible cupboard!

What about dinosaurs though? Do you believe in them?
Good question eatshitderek.

Re OP's religion - the only thing I have trouble with is that another human gets to decide what can or cannot be done. So mumsnet is ok, but tv dramas are bad. That is a human interpretation and therefore you are submitting to someone else's view and living according to their arbitrary decisions (as no doubt they could easily have come up with a valid reason why mumsnet should fall into the same category as a tv drama) and that makes me feel sad for you. I am an atheist, I make decisions based upon my own values and my morality.

esd and MW123 - what relevance do dinosoars have to this debate? Have I missed something?

Eat and MW123 are referring to the creationism versus evolution or science v theology, I think.

It's all about poking the OP with a stick. Since the OP met abusive comments with gracious ones it's just another way of trying to get under her skin.

I think I might be the only person who disagrees with 'respecting' others' beliefs. Tolerating or even not punishing would be a far better fit.

I feel sorry for children being born into extremist homes.

freelance- I have no respect for religion either.

Bloody religion! What a load of old bollocks! Try giving your child a happy childhood, instead of trying to brainwash him with your beliefs.

Some people still seem to be missing that he doesn't usually have juice at meals.

Re sugar cravings - isn't most squash sugar free anyway?

The alternatives to the sugar in squash create worse cravings than sugar cravings.

Well maybe if you were having it quite often but I got the impression it was only an occasional thing anyway. In any case not sure squash withdrawal symptoms should discourage people from changing their diet - for religious reasons or otherwise.

Maybe the poor kid doesn't understand all the denial.

Because I think it's bonkers too.

I'm not really having this. No print media but calling your dad 'out of line' on a forum with numerous swears, sexual and pop culture references in the titles alone?

Doesn't add up.

BigBlue - you never deny your children things?

I was brought up a Catholic (went to a convent school) and refuse to have anything to do with organised religion as a result. I understand the benefits for some eg sense of belonging, community spirit (although never experienced this personally), security - but pressurising people - in this case young children into OTT 'sacrifices' is just wrong. It would be better to demonstrate your sacrifices to the children, and encourage conversations around the meaning and significance. Religion should be something people seek and actively want to be part of not forced into.

I agree with nauticant. People are just getting a kick out of tearing OP down. What's with all the hate?

bumble- of course, but only if there is a good reason for it.

If the op had said my dad gave my son juice when we drink water at mealtimes with no mention of her religion the responses would have been better but hey lets just give a religious person a virtual kicking eh

Bigblue - but people have different idea of what 'good' reasons are. My reasons for not eating meat (and not giving meat to my children) may not be considered good enough by others. As long as the OPs child is eating enough healthy balanced meals then what is the problem? Who cares if it's for religious reasons or because they're trying to improve their health or because they may have fallen into financial difficulty and have to budget differently?

Well I know an awful lot more now from reading the OPs posts. I had no idea about Torah Observant Christians. Very interesting, thank you.

I hope your Lent and Passover goes well. :)

I haven't read the full thread so someone may have already said this. To me, the lent/religion stuff isn't actually relevant to the OP's question. Water was set out for lunch, which is the norm, child whining for something else, OP said no, father goes against wishes and gives in to the child. If they're thirsty they drink water. So, I don't think YABU.

It's not yeast or raising agents that are forbidden in Passover, it's chametz (wheat, barley, rye, spelt, oats) unless it's baked in less than 18 minutes. Yeast is in wine and baking soda in matzoh balls at Pesach meals. And in pesadic cakes.

Marmite is considered not kosher for passover because of uncertainty about thr source of where the yeast originally cpmes from. Fed on chametz? Not suitable for Passover...

MsFanacker - that's the oral law, though. I suspect OP is sticking to the biblical law (which makes not having a brit all the more strange, but there you go).