Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Free Birth

174 replies

Weathergames · 24/02/2015 23:16

Am watching the programme on the BBC about Childbirth All or Nothing.

I had two of my kids at home which everyone at the time thought was a bit "out there".

AIBU to think "Free Birth" with planned no medical intervention or medical professional present is maybe a risk too far and possibly not fair on the baby should it need medical intervention?

I am prepared to be told IABU.

OP posts:
StaircaseAtTheUniversity · 24/02/2015 23:18

I also think this as I can think of so few births I've heard of through friends and family where there hasn't been something happen that needed intervention. Would like to hear more about it from someone who knows.

Lauren1983 · 24/02/2015 23:19

I think the woman on the show is being selfish. I really hope the outcome is successful but to me is too great a risk.

seaoflove · 24/02/2015 23:20

YANBU.

It's irresponsible and unnecessary.

Original poster
Weathergames · 24/02/2015 23:21

I am glad her first free birth went well - but I think it's dicing with someone else's life who has no choice - and I presume her partner isn't medically trained.

OP posts:
FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 24/02/2015 23:24

I agree with the above. It's a risk not worth taking. Just imagine if the baby needed help, you could never forgive yourself.

mrsfuzzy · 24/02/2015 23:31

sometimes babies do arrive without prior warning but to actually plan not to have medical/help is pretty risky imo, but then again do we make too much of a big thing of child birth in the first world ? millions of women give birth in third world countries and have to get on with it, giving birth and then having to get on with their day so to speak, admittedly there are many deaths but having said that, without wishing to sound flippant, enough babies do survive to keep many undeveloped countries over populated. i've has six c sections so obviously required lots of intervention, but the end result needs to be a baby and mother who are both well and haven't been put at unnecessary risk when there was no need to be.

Osmiornica · 25/02/2015 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 25/02/2015 00:12

I'd never plan one..... but I have had an unassisted home birth and it was by far the easiest and least stressful out of my three births.

Midwives just depress me tbh.

ThatBloodyWoman · 25/02/2015 00:12

I think its not up to me to tell another woman how she chooses to give birth.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 25/02/2015 00:17

it is risky going to hospital for birthing. Pregnancy and labour are risky. It isn't what I would choose but there are some good reasons for it too.

Qwebec · 25/02/2015 00:21

I have friends who knew a woman in the US who decided to give birth on her own to avoid the medical costs and her baby died.
It's also a v real risk for the mothers.

Is the free birth woman living in place where medical costs are not covered by the state? Why does she want to do it on her own?

missingmumxox · 25/02/2015 00:26

Mrsfuzzy well named, millions of children are born without expert care in the rest of the world and that is why we have a really high live rate in the UK.

Ps best friend DH delivered their child with no ill effects when the midwife was caught in snow.

My Mum was a midwife, and I and my twins would probably be dead what with them being footling and all.

S

Clobbered · 25/02/2015 00:28

Her body, her choice. I wouldn't do it myself, but I rather admire her attitude and I'm pleased that it worked out well for her.

The lotus birth woman was extremely lucky to have had a good outcome after a cord prolapse - that could have been very different.

Drinking placenta smoothie - yuck, yuck, yuck - if I was going to eat it, I think I'd have to cook it first…

And I felt a bit sorry for the caesarian lady who was going to be dragged to Miami 10 days after the birth - does he regard his family as accessories who have to travel with him at all times? That was a bit horrid.

lucymam · 25/02/2015 00:32

I thought it was illegal in Britain to have a planned unassisted birth?

Lovemycatsandkids · 25/02/2015 00:32

Totally agree with thatBloodyWoman

I support any woman's right to abort a foetus up until birth in theory. For me a foetus has no rights over the mothers right until it's born so it's up to the mother.

Personally no bloody way. I have 4 and had wildly different experiences with each one and would never want to home birth let alone free birth ffs.

I hate mess I night have to clear up in my house Smile and need major drugs to bare labour.

I like being surrounded by medical help if needed and to feel safe.

However each to own.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2015 00:33

I don't understand why anyone would take the risk either TBH.

Yes, women in much of the developing world give birth without access to medical help or a midwife. But way too many of the those women - and their babies - will die because of that.

I am probably biased as I was in and out of hospital with pre-eclampsia during all three of the pregnancies & was induced three times. I expect I would be dead now if it wasn't for the medical assistance.

Lovemycatsandkids · 25/02/2015 00:37

I did read once that an unqualified person who assisted at a birth and didn't plan to access help could be breaking the law.

It was Sandy Toxvig I think who read up on it all and delivered her girl friends baby. She said she could have been prosecuted as it was planned.

Not 100% sure though.

VivVivacious · 25/02/2015 00:40

I just watched it and was wondering if would be a thread and sure enough there isWink

It's a hard one to call as WhoTF are any of us to tell another woman what to do, but I think I'm with OP here...

Had an horrifically traumatic first birth in hospital; pinned to bed at last minute, massive tear funnily enough from pushng baby out 'uphill'; stitched up over 2 hours later once endorphines had worn off (I'd had no pain relief in labour at all so no 'residual' to deal with fanjo being knitted whilst wholly compus). It was fucking AWFUL. And this was at probably the 'best' and 'safest' and most 'prestigious' of NHS maternity hospitals at the timeSad

I had subsequent 2 at home. With DC2 my GP stuck me off his list (yep, really...) and with DC3 I had to sign a waiver form. I did have midwives there for both births and hospitals were close by in event of emergency, but vis 'in event of emergency' reality is the free birthing Mother was just as close as I or anyone else was to emergency response (whether 'normal' home birth or 'free birthing')

The other striking factor is that as narrator pointed out, 'four healthy babies born in very different ways' - so all was fine. Likewise, when asked what she would say to others who said she [free birther] was 'lucky', her (precised) response of well, TWICE 'lucky'.... kinda said it all.

TBH I was more grossed out by the 'couple' scheduling her ECS to fit in with his business trips....

mamato3luvleys · 25/02/2015 00:44

Each to their own.

Lotus birth? What is the point it's actually just weird!

Postchildrenpregranny · 25/02/2015 00:45

Both my DDs might have died without trained help. Not even anything major but DD1 had cord twice round neck, DD2 mild shoulder dystocia.
I can't speak highly enough of the care I received in labour

fluffymouse · 25/02/2015 00:46

It is shockingly selfish IMO

fuzzy women in third world countries have to contend with a very high maternal morbidity and stillbirth rate as a result.

AntiHop · 25/02/2015 01:56

My jaw was on the floor watching this and I haven't even finished watching it yet. I think free birthing is not worth the risk. She talks about women giving birth without support in other countries but before midwifery was established as a formal profession, there would have been experienced women helping other women to give birth.

I felt the man expecting his wife, toddler and new born to travel with him 10 days after giving birth was being pushy and ridiculous. Even with lots of paid help surely she should be resting?

Postchildrenpregranny · 25/02/2015 02:09

Even in UK, even in hospitals incidents of child/maternal death (certainly still birth) are higher than you might think .
DD1 recently had a colleague who whose first pregnancy ended in still birth. No indication even late into labour than anything was wrong . She had no criticism of the medical staff .DD1 (being a researcher) and wanting advice on how to handle it sensitively with colleague (she went to the child's funeral) looked up the figs and was amazed . I wish I could remember what they were but I was surprised .

Postchildrenpregranny · 25/02/2015 02:13

2012 figs UK
Still birth 4.9 per 1000 births
Neo natal deaths 2.8 per 1000

Topseyt · 25/02/2015 02:25

Two of my three would almost certainly not be here now without medical intervention.

With my eldest daughter the placenta failed. We didn't actually know that for sure until after she had arrived, thankfully safe and well but it was a very traumatic experience all the way through.

Second daughter's delivery was much more "textbook" and relatively straightforward.

Third daughter was slightly premature. Waters broke at 35 weeks. Within a couple of days she was becoming distressed but no sign of spontaneous labour and she didn't tolerate the drugs needed to kick start it. So emergency c-section was the only way.

Free birthing is dicing with death.