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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend said this was pfb

400 replies

holidayroad · 24/02/2015 14:17

I was talking to my friend the other day, she asked what schools I put down for my DD's primary school admission (she starts reception in September).

The schools near me are all oversubscribed and we have visited 5 of them. I explained that we had struggled to narrow down our choice after visiting the first 5, so arranged to visit them all again just before the closing date.

One school refused to allow us a 2nd visit - now I appreciate that it is a big school and a lot of parents want their DC to go there, but I used their refusal to allow us a 2nd visit as a basis to rule that school out as I feel if they are not prepared to go above and beyond for us on the selection basis then they cannot possibly be the best school for my DC.

My friend has DC at this school and said I was being ridiculously pfb to expect them to arrange a 2nd visit.

I think this is too important a decision to be taken lightly.

So over to you, who is BU?

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 26/02/2015 12:42

Crossed with Brie while I was typing Far Too Much Detail.

MrsHathaway · 26/02/2015 12:49

Yes, sorry,

Bogeyface · 26/02/2015 12:50

So if you rank higher in the criteria for pref 2 you are more likely to get that?!

More confused than when I started now :o

ToffeeCaramel · 26/02/2015 13:00

No, you'll only go to your second pref if you do not rank high enough for first pref to qualify

BrieAndChilli · 26/02/2015 13:09

It's confusion in the middle while all the shuffling is going on but it's important that you tank you 3 choices in order of which you want most as you will be given the highest choice you qualify for but equally important that you include in your choices a school you are likely to get into to save being given a place miles away at an unwanted achool

ArcheryAnnie · 26/02/2015 13:17

YABU. They would have to allocate staff to show you around, staff time that would be better spent on managing the needs of the children currently attending. They may have made a different decision if you had missed the open day, but they know you have already seen the school. I think this makes them a better choice, not a worse one.

Bogeyface · 26/02/2015 13:19

Ok, thats what I thought, I must have misread Mrs explanation!

Brie Yes, I understood that if you include 3 schools that are on your wish list but you probably wont get into, then you stand a far higher chance of ending up at a shit school miles away than if you include at least one that maybe doesnt tick all the boxes but you do at least have a chance of getting a place at. At least then you have some measure of control, albeit not much.

I suspect that the OP has done the wish list and left off the catchment school that she had a much better chance of getting a place at. She could well be looking at somewhere that she had not even given a thought to. I hope she doesnt, but it happens a hell of a lot, especially in highly populated urban areas.

JackieTheFart · 26/02/2015 13:30

What now? We're supposed to visit more than one school more than once?

I thought most people just went with their closest one.

MrsHathaway · 26/02/2015 13:40

Well, it is true that you're more likely to get into your second preference if it is ten metres away and your elder child is already there, and your first preference is across town and prioritises religious attendance you don't do... but that's just because you're more likely to qualify for 2 and not 1. If you qualify for 1 you'll go there even if you were top of the list for 2.

I think I've been making things look too complicated in an attempt to explain for those interested in the process rather than the result. Sorry Blush

If you want your child to go to a school but you think he's unlikely to get in, put it first or nowhere - you get your highest preference available whether that's 1 or 5.

If you need your child to go to a state school, name at least one you are likely to get into. A nearby shit school is better than two bus rides to a faraway shit school. Name it last if you don't like it, so you only get it if your others are just too full (and meanwhile get on their waiting lists) .

The system doesn't care about your childcare arrangements or commute.It only cares about quantifiable measurements against published criteria.

tiggytape · 26/02/2015 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 26/02/2015 13:42

I thought most people just went with their closest one

Thats what happens here! But it wasnt until MN that I realised what a problem schools are in other areas. Here we are lucky I suppose in that although there are a couple of over subscribed schools, that is mainly to do with snobbery, most kids go to their catchment school. Its only people like the "friend" I mentioned above that go bananas over it.

The madness surrounding lack of good school places is just another reason to not live in London!

reni1 · 26/02/2015 13:47

I really really don't mean to be patronising, please don't take it as such, how about this:

5 year old Child A Santa List:

  1. A real dragon spitting fire
  2. A real Unicorn
  3. A trip to the moon

5 year old Child B Santa List:

  1. A real dragon spitting fire
  2. An iPad
  3. A Lego castle

Child A will get socks, books, a toy fire engine. Child B will get the Lego Castle, and might even get the iPad. Neither child will get the dragon, but B will get something he likes, A will get something Santa thinks will be good.

tiggytape · 26/02/2015 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cartoonsaveme · 26/02/2015 14:13

The equal pref system is simple once you get your head round it. We put 4 preferences down .
1 was our favourite but we only qualified on distance so it was dodgy as we were close to the normal distance cut off at 0.3m

  1. much less liked school but it was a banker as we are RC and very very close to it. All children in parish historically get in.
3. School we liked but were prob too far away from
  1. Unpopular poor performing school that was only 10 mins away but undersubscribed. Another banker.

In reality we actually qualified for preferences 1 & 2 & 4.

At that point the computer system in effect says 'this child qualifies for 3 of their 4 school preferences, so what did they put as their top preference' - we got school 1

Makes sense?

reni1 · 26/02/2015 14:15

Makes sense, Cartoon, I did something similar but would have swapped 2 and 3 on your list.

Luckystar82 · 26/02/2015 14:24

YABU

Your request for a private visit is unreasonable for any school besides a fee paying independent school UNLESS of course your child has additional needs and you need to check out specific facilities, ask the school about how they would address certain issues etc.

If your child does not have additional needs then you need to base your decision on:
(1) open day
(2) website (most schools publish many of their policies online these days)
(3) ofsted report
(4) local reputation
(5) feedback from parents and teachers

cartoonsaveme · 26/02/2015 14:27

Reni it might actually have gone in that order in the end as I didn't want to RC school and preferred the non faith school that was over 1/2 mile away as it is quite progressive - was a while ago lol

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 26/02/2015 14:29

We did:

  1. School we really liked and very close (didn't get this as weird bulge in applicants, though we'd have got in every other year)
  1. School we really liked but was a bit further away
  1. CofE school (unlikely we'd get in, but quite nice).
  1. Banker. Not massively keen on the school. But it was ok, it was close and had a big intake. We could expect to get in easily.
reni1 · 26/02/2015 14:40
  1. School we would have killed for, so good, 50:50 getting in
  2. Second best, low chance getting in
  3. School we quite liked, 50:50 getting in
  4. Not too keen on school, but will do, relatively high chance
  5. Absolute dead cert admission, school better than no school (just)

We got 1, would have been happy with 2+3 and ok with 4. With 5, we'd have stayed on the waiting lists for 1-4 and changed upon availability

var123 · 26/02/2015 14:42

I still think the best way to get to know a school before you go there is to look at the OFSTED report, especially the criticisms / things to improve and read the newsletters on the website.

The newsletters tell you what the school care about with regard to education and everything you need to know about the school-parent relationships. Are they a litany of don't do this and don't do that or are they come to this and help with that?

I think open days are beyond useless because they only show how good the leadership team are at marketing. You don't want them for their marketing capabilities. You want them for the teaching and nurturing capabilities.

reni1 · 26/02/2015 15:30

I agree Var, open days are no the most important thing, but we found some of them useful for excluding schools. Like the one that we thought ok-ish; on arrival we realised it is unbelievably filthy- lots of litter, dirty floors and the classrooms stank of unflushed toilets.

var123 · 26/02/2015 16:33

Its true - open days are a way to see the quality of the building and whether there is room to swing a cat in the classrooms!

Personally, i prefer to see a range of abilities on show in any wall display. Its more honest than just showing the best and it avoids the message to certain children that their stuff is never good enough.

Unexpected · 26/02/2015 16:42

I think you are being very short-sighted in discounting your catchment school because they wouldn't accommodate another visit for you. Next year, I fully expect you to be on here complaining because your child's learning is constantly being disrupted by visitors to school, opening doors, toddlers making noise, traipsing through the hall at lunchtime etc.

00100001 · 18/03/2015 10:40

Any news yet??

cartoonsaveme · 18/03/2015 13:26

Allocations aren't out yet ...