to not feed my ds someone else's breast milk.

[PotatoLetters]

Ds is mixed fed. Yesterday my friend offered to defrost some of her bm if I ran out of formula. Aibu to not want to feed him this?

Ps I know it was well intended. Not bitching about her offering, just questioning my response.

Of course Sally.
I just feel that many people really don't understand sterility.

Pre-made formula in cartons/bottles is sterile.

Just thought I'd make that clear.

Pre-made formula in cartons/bottles is sterile.

Not completely. "Sterile" is really used in leaflets and public information as shorthand for having gone through a process that eliminates the vast majority of bacteria, at least the known harmful bacteria.

And it would only be at the point of opening. As soon as it is opened it is no longer considered sterile.

Only1scoop - I assume you are as horrified about cows breast milk as you are about human breast milk? Otherwise your point makes no sense

Formula is only sterile at the point of opening the package. From then on it is exposed to the bacteria in the air, the spoon, etc.

This isn't true. Formula is sterile whilst still in package

yanbu I wouldn't do it.

I dont believe for one minute that they do it just for stats and dont give people the results

YY. The idea is quite frankly, bollocks.

Doctor: "she has HIV! Lets not tell her though, but instead add it to our list for statistics."

It's crap like this that makes people worry unnecessarily

Powdered formula is not sterile ever. It is not possible to keep it sterile during the manufacturing process which is why the water is made up to 70 degree when it is being prepared.

Made up cartons are sterile until they are opened and not after.

Not 'horrified' about any form of breast milk....be it from human ....bovine....or green aliens from out of space....

Back to Op....if my friend kindly offered me her breast milk I'd choose to graciously decline....

Yes there seems to be quite a lot of people on their soapbox regarding breastmilk. Op has every right to decline, that's her perogative, her reasons are completely valid.

I've just noticed that someone has pulled a comment from my earlier post to this thread about formula having God knows what in it and suggested it might be anti ff, or perceived as being. It's not, DD was exclusively ff, I have no bf vs ff opinions, I just genuinely have no idea what's in formula despite having read the ingredients.

My MIL used to breastfeed her friend's babies and vice versa, when they had this childcare sharing thing going. It was the early seventies! However, I would feel weird about my kid having another woman's milk, I would only be OK with it in an extreme circumstance,( like we were snowed in and out of formula or something similar). YANBU!

In spite of having 2 ff children Rollacola I don't know what is in formula either.

It seems to mirror the known micro and macro nutrients in BM with a few additional things like iron and fatty acids. I would rather they only mirrored the nutrients in BM personally but they seem to be adding experimental ingredients to differentiate themselves in the market.

Lweji - powdered formula isn't sterile. From the CDC here :

"Powdered infant formula is not sterile

Manufacturers report that, using current methods, it is not possible to eliminate all germs from powdered infant formula in the factory. Powdered infant formula can also be contaminated after the containers are opened. Very young infants, infants born prematurely, and infants with weakened immune systems are at the highest risk."

Maybe it's easier when you don't know the donor. My twins were born early and were fed donor milk before mine came in. I was very grateful to those unnamed women.

Once home I had to use formula sometimes and hated it - to me it smelt disgusting. Would much rather have had donated breast milk.

Who cares, really?
If FF works for you best, more power to your kettle. Your kids will be fine. And you'll probably get more peace
If EBF is your preference, great. It's really convienient and fab for bonding.
If you mix feed and you and baby are thriving, fantastic.
If you find the idea of feeding your baby with another woman's breast milk, that's understandable. Many, many people wouldn't and unless its a matter of life and death, an unnecessary concern. It didn't bother me, but I'm not everyone.
Do what works for you and yours. Nothing else really matters, does it?

Each to their own, I'm sure every parent here is making choices every day for their children, often based on nothing but instinct and often not the same choice another parent would make. We all just want what's righ for our children.

I don't get the criticism of cows milk though. Cows are a major source of nutrition for humans seeing as we eat them, it's therefore not hard to see why drinking their milk as well as consuming their meat is perfectly ok.

The swapping of bodily fluids with another human being is a much more emotive thing.

Yanbu

Wouldn't touch it with a barge pole- who knows what she'd been drinking or taking as regards drugs or medication.

No ideas how it had been stored,whether it was hygienically pumped,poss diseases....

Good grief Lepetit, the OP had better run out of the house before her friend's germs catch up with her.

Of course yanbu! Pathogens can get spread through breast milk - it would be like giving your baby a blood transfusion of unscreened blood.

Btw I am a doctor, so well aware of both the health benefits of bm, and of the risks of disease transmission.

Donor milk will have been screened, as would the donor.

And yes actually, if someone declines HIV testing, some people may be screened for it regardless for statistics, and the results remain anonymous, so their HCPs won't know either.

If one asks to know the results they will be told. I was taught this on e in a lecture and did question the ethics.

It's how we know how many people are out there with undisguised HIV.

Undiagnosed