To think raking through a poster's old threads is despicable behaviour

[Behindthepaintedgarden]

There's a sideways discussion going on at the moment on another thread about this.

I've seen it a few times on here where two posters are disagreeing and one of them suddenly starts posting comments about previous remarks the poster has made (often months ago), or picking a tiny selection of threads the poster has started to imply that they're 'anti children' or 'anti weddings' or 'obviously have difficulties getting along with people'.

I remember someone doing this to me on another forum once and it creeped me out. AIBU to think it's horrible behaviour and a really cheap way to try and win an argument.

Makes sense to me :)

Spot on Maryz! (And I don't need advance search for that). In fact, it goes beyond that - if we're thinking about the same poster, it's more a case of "we're so strapped for cash we had to go to a food bank and this chicken is literally the only thing I've got to feed my children with - what's the cheapest way to cook it given I'm on a pre-payment meter which is about to run out?" - and poster X replies "you monster, fancy murdering a chicken..." Only the poster in question's behaviour was even worse than that.

Why is it a bad thing to post regularly on threads that you are interested in or have specific knowledge/experience of though? Or are you saying that these people ONLY post on certain topics? Things tend to go in cycles or are brought up again by something in the media or whatever but there are always new people/new opinions and new arguments introduced alongside the regulars. If you think about it, most of the topics on MN are rehashed every few weeks/months - some more regularly than others. It would be a bit strange if you only ever posted on a subject once and then never again. Particularly if it's one of the ones that doesn't come up that often. eg bf/ff comes up nearly every week but something like ethical production of meat may only come up every few months.

Nine times out of ten I won't even remember the name of a poster who has strongly disagreed with me on another thread and will happily agree with them and joke with them on subsequent threads.
But there is the odd poster who has been so rude, personal or nasty that their name does stick in my mind. However, I would never follow them around threads disagreeing with them for the sake of it, or raking up former comments to embarrass them.

I don't think it's a bad thing to post regularly on topics that you have an interest in/experience of.

For example, if you searched my name, I post a good bit on pregnancy and breastfeeding questions because that's my current life experience (if that makes sense!).

What I don't do is go on to threads to peddle my particular wider views on pregnancy/parenting/breastfeeding etc.

I've seen people posting things like "my baby is x weeks old and I hate breastfeeding, I really want to give up, how do I prepare a bottle of formula, please don't try to change my mind". Nevertheless some posters pile in with anti-formula commentary etc etc. That's what I don't like. Using someone's difficult/emotive situation to peddle your own wider agenda.

Ok, I see where you're coming from :)

I know what you mean about current life experiences forming your posting preferences too. I rarely post on bf threads now even though I bf for around 6 years and posted a lot at the time.

taking notes for my detailed spreadsheet

I think the only situation where this is acceptable is when a poster comes on saying her DH has done something despicable, like smack her in the face or something.

Loads of posters tell her to LTB, she claims he is normally lovely and it was out of character.

Someone finds her previous posts where there is evidence that he is financially and emotionally abusive. The OP has forgotten/is blind to it.

Sometimes having previous posting history pointed out can really help someone.

I have had previous posts pointed out twice in the most unpleasant, unncessary of ways - and I will never ever forget the posters who did it, neither of whom name change - whenever I see their posts on threads, I shudder.

If it's a goady thread then it's understandable, but I think that sometimes people get a bit over-invested in troll hunting, and will do it even when the thread and poster in question are harmless and not pulling people in or hurting anyone.

I never pay any attention to usernames, I respond to the post, not the poster which could see me in a heated debate on one thread and totally agreeing on another.

I'm generally a lurker and don't post unless I feel need to. I have looked posters up once or twice to get a general feel I don't read the comments they make just the forums they post to as I think the aww that can tell you alot about a person. I would never bring anything up in an argument though.
I don't mind a disagreement as I like that everyone has different views although I do think that once a poster resorts to name calling or insults them they have lost the argument. I hate that sometimes a decent debate can quickly turn to quite often a one way slanging match. I had a debate with a poster who got quite rude insulting and name calling whilst I tried my best to stay polite and apologise for offences whilst sticking to my side. I felt they had lost the debate ages ago

The other thing that irritates me is how a small thing ends up getting blown out of proportion and compared to something unrelated such as "you like doing that so therefore you agree with torturing animals" completely unrelated and insane but it happens

I've had this name since 2005. I use it on lots of sites.
So be it.

Sometimes reading a few of the poster's previous threads will give you a much clearer idea of their current problem, particularly on Relationships.

Sometimes posters will be giving totally inappropriate advice, because they don't have many of the relevant facts.

I remember one particular poster who kept defending her DP, but if you looked at her history, it was blatantly obvious that he was grooming her daughters but she wouldn't accept it.

If used properly, the search facility is useful.

Far from MNHQers causing as has been suggested, we can assure you that we really don't.
We've only recently been made aware of this thread.
We would ask that y'all remember that mn is here to make lives easier, that if there is something despicable posted by royalty or otherwise that you're concerned about to PLEASE report it
Thanks so much

I am now incredibly careful about name changing, after I was advanced searched on a thread that turned very nasty. I posted about something very serious and upsetting happening to dd, and messed up my name change. I also had a thread running about coping with the aftermath of my abusive husband, who has sexually abused me. Several posters advanced searched me, then pointed everyone towards my other thread, with eyebrow raises and comments about how 'dramatic' my life seemed to be. The two threads were both entirely unrelated, but posters linked them as some sort of proof that I was an attention seeking troll. That is the kind of advanced searching that I think is despicable.

I think there is an aspect of it just being words on a screen, of being the one who gets to be clever and say 'look, I have found the answer' in the manner of Poirot, while forgetting that this might be someone's real life.

I have to say that most posters were lovely, and mumsnet were very supportive, but I have never forgotten those who took he chance to kick me while I was down.

Oh gosh, Iknit, that's so horrible. I'm so sorry it happened, and hope your life, and your dd's life, are much much happier and easier now.

Actively pursuing someone is completely different though- does this really happen?

Yes it happens and it happened to me. I thought I was imagining it until a friend who also posts here said to me - am I imagining it or is so and so following you around and having a go?

It was freaky, really, and I now name change often.

A couple of weeks ago, a poster said to an OP "you really shouldn't be posting stuff like this on here, it is making you really identifiable", then they proceeded to go "look, I have found all this information you've posted" arent I so clever.

I was - surely that person was making life easier for the OP to be identified, publishing all their personal data onto a single post! I couldn't understand why they didn't PM them and give them the warning privately??

I guess they seemed to just want to prove their point, but it seemed all wrong ...

If used properly, the search facility is useful

yy rusty