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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

To think raking through a poster's old threads is despicable behaviour

178 replies

Behindthepaintedgarden · 23/02/2015 17:57

There's a sideways discussion going on at the moment on another thread about this.

I've seen it a few times on here where two posters are disagreeing and one of them suddenly starts posting comments about previous remarks the poster has made (often months ago), or picking a tiny selection of threads the poster has started to imply that they're 'anti children' or 'anti weddings' or 'obviously have difficulties getting along with people'.

I remember someone doing this to me on another forum once and it creeped me out. AIBU to think it's horrible behaviour and a really cheap way to try and win an argument.

OP posts:

MistressDeeCee · 23/02/2015 21:59

Whether its a force for good isn't what the the OP is about, hence I didn't mention that. To me, raking up poster's previous comments from old threads is strange behaviour. As it would be in real life if people remembered all your old comments and kept referring to them. Not pleasant.

bumbleymummy · 23/02/2015 22:05

PrivatePike. That's pretty awful. I would have thought that people on relationships would be a bit more sensitive if oriole have clearly gone to the trouble of bane changing.

bumbleymummy · 23/02/2015 22:06

People name

ToastedOrFresh · 23/02/2015 22:08

bumble - Do you know what else is really fun? When a group of people decide that they don't like your opinion and so MN etiquette goes out the window and the nice 'protective' thing that some of you get when people are attacking you no longer applies. They wilfully misinterpret you, accuse you of saying/believing/doing things that you don't and hardly anyone sticks up for you. They just stand back and watch certain posters stick the boot in as hard and as often as they can. MN at it's absolute finest. No doubt about that

Hell yes. I totally agree with you. Makes me wonder where the moderators on this unmoderated site are at that point.......(in the middle of the fray perhaps ? No ?)

So, the moderators and MN royalty (who are probably one and the same )don't NC just to keep a lively thread going like the ringmasters I suspect they really are ?

WorraLiberty · 23/02/2015 22:11

I think it has it's place sometimes.

Not the scenario the OP describes but sometimes when someone's being a smug, lying bastard, it can be helpful to point out they said the total opposite 2 weeks ago.

Then there was that weird woman a couple of months ago. Every single post she made, she brought up the fact she was a lesbian...even though it often had fuck all to do with the subject in hand.

"What's everyone having for tea?"

"Well I'm a lesbian so I'm having steak and chips" (ok, maybe not that, but you get the drift?)

She was 42yrs old in one post and then 3 days later, she was 28. It was pointed out, HQ took a look and she turned out to be a previously banned liar poster.

I can't bring myself to care if pointing it out was considered 'weird' or 'creepy'....it was too funny

flora717 · 23/02/2015 22:13

I find it very creepy when people do that. As someone new (ish) it also smacks of "you're not welcome here". So I tend to dip in and out, rarely stick with those threads for long as it leaves me cold.
I'm also a serial namechanger as I don't feel comfortable that all the many lurkers can then also look me up without 'sharing'. Sort of listeners at the door.

Sunbury1986 · 23/02/2015 22:14

I think Mumsnet can reflect real life too much at times. There is definitely a "hierarchy" and that is exposed when those of us who dip our toes in comment and perhaps don't know enough about the posters. It can also be a real salvation if you need to let something out. I also think there is a clique of posters with some of the long running threats that I don't even understand so that can create a small alienation. Yes I do see the "previous posts " slightly stalker type comments but I assume there are posters who spend a lot of time on here. And by a lot of time I mean too much to be healthy. It's a great site. Use it as suits but don't dwell...lots of good things.

usualsuspect333 · 23/02/2015 22:17

You think MNHQ are masquerading as MN Royalty?

Paranoid,much.

ghostyslovesheep · 23/02/2015 22:23

I think it's fun when people search for the same topic every day - are there any more threads on the topic of, say, sausages, that I can wade into and give my 'honest' (often heartless and or cruel) 'opinions' on ...

I am neither Royalty or HQ

I do have an excellent cuntdar though

Lucyccfc · 23/02/2015 22:32

Sunbury has it spot on, but said a lot more politely than I would.

If people have nothing better to do than search for old posts to try to prove people wrong, then they seriously need to get a life. Clearly they have nothing better to do.

There is a def clique on here, although I prefer the title 'Queen Bees'. People who spend way too much time on here, know who's who, their views and previous posts. Too many 'other' posters who 'feed' the Queen Bees ego's by exclaiming how wise they are or encouraging other posters to take their advice.

Its the internet FFS.

bumbleymummy · 23/02/2015 22:33

It's really funny that people who accuse people of turning up on the same threads all the time only notice that those people are there because they are on those threads themselves.

bumbleymummy · 23/02/2015 22:34

"Too many 'other' posters who 'feed' the Queen Bees ego's by exclaiming how wise they are or encouraging other posters to take their advice."

Yes to this! Also posters who get away with being incredibly rude because they 'speak the truth'

NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/02/2015 22:36

There are a few posters who don't need to be advanced searched or anything like that.

You see a thread title and know damn well they are going to turn up either being unkind and emotive (thinking of an especially sensitive topic and a handful of very familiar posters) or just dogmatic rude and bigoted,thinking of benefit related threads where they post the same thing over and over often pretty much word for word the same on every thread about the same thing.

I'm not sure it's even close to despicable to tell them to piss off.

PiranhaBrothers · 23/02/2015 22:39

Jeez, what happened to publish and be damned!

Why is there even an advanced search if people aren't supposed to use it?

I sometimes look at posting history and if it's relevant to the thread (i.e. blatant bullshitting) then yes, I'll refer back to something that has been previously posted.

I have a pretty good memory and if something doesn't ring true then I'm happy to say so.

ghostyslovesheep · 23/02/2015 22:40

oh dear - Bum do you need some salt x

It's funny as I wasn't even thinking of you when I posted that - bless your tiny toes

IamtheZombie · 23/02/2015 22:43

Zombie hasn't name changed in more than 3 years. The world and her sister are more than welcome to A/S her. They might learn something.

Does it need to be said yet again that "MN Royalty" is a myth?

thatsucks · 23/02/2015 22:43

Yes there are posters who are above reproach, or people are scared of upsetting.

It's just human nature that there is some silly old alpha group - some posters on here post 8 gazillion times a day so their names become known and that alone makes them 'royalty', not much more than that.

Just ignore them if it bothers you!

I love being a name changer. I found it hard at first as I had friends on here, same nickname for three years, but it's actually more refreshing to name change and not have anyone have preconceived ideas of you or give a flying fuck what you say (or even listen to you possibly!).

NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/02/2015 22:44

It's really funny that people who accuse people of turning up on the same threads all the time only notice that those people are there because they are on those threads themselves

Many people turn up on the same types of threads to post helpful/factual/informative/supportive posts they may just happen to have a subject matter that they have a lot of knowledge about and want to do a bit of hand holding.

That is very different to,say popping up on every single benefit/SAHP/My deadbeat ex has pissed me off related thread and saying stuff like "your poor your a lazy bum who should be putting your kids in the work house and besides you get CB that's more than enough to keep your kids in the lap of luxury its your fault you picked a bad dad he shouldn't have to do anything" (made up quote but you get the picture)

bumbleymummy · 23/02/2015 22:44

Yes, some topics are sensitive which is why certain posters choose not to post on the many threads where people are seeking support but instead only post on threads where people's opinions are asked for on both sides because they are not intended to be a one sided discussion as much as some people would like that.

thatsucks · 23/02/2015 22:45

It's not a myth Zombie, it's just that 'royalty' is a vom inducing description that makes people uncomfortable.

Philoslothy · 23/02/2015 22:46

It is a rather persistent myth though isn't it?

A member of MN royalty once told me that I was not posting in the right way on here and that if I wanted to stay I needed to change, she informed me that other MNErs would soon be along to give me a ticking off for not posting in the right manner.

wartsnall · 23/02/2015 22:46

I'm fairly new on here but have 'watched/lurked' for a month before I first posted and I'm pleased I did! I realise how harsh nasty people can be on here so i m aware of not asking for advice 'close to the heart' but in every day situations or for a bit of banter its okay
I've never looked up a posters history as of yet but if they stood out and I was curious about them I maybes would - I can't really see it being s big deal

bumbleymummy · 23/02/2015 22:50

I wasn't saying it because I thought you were thinking of me ghosty. I just see it happening on threads and it always makes me smile because I think 'well you wouldn't know they were on all these threads if you weren't always there yourself'. :)

Needs, I see what you mean but some people may post their opinions frequently because they know they are in a minority (or others may be reluctant to post on some of the more 'spirited' threads) and they are trying to offer an alternative opinion - even though it isn't necessarily popular.

usualsuspect333 · 23/02/2015 22:54

What is the right manner,Phil?

I think I might be doing it wrong.

Philoslothy · 23/02/2015 22:55

She neve quite said, I think you are just supposed to know these things usual.

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