To think raking through a poster's old threads is despicable behaviour

[Behindthepaintedgarden]

There's a sideways discussion going on at the moment on another thread about this.

I've seen it a few times on here where two posters are disagreeing and one of them suddenly starts posting comments about previous remarks the poster has made (often months ago), or picking a tiny selection of threads the poster has started to imply that they're 'anti children' or 'anti weddings' or 'obviously have difficulties getting along with people'.

I remember someone doing this to me on another forum once and it creeped me out. AIBU to think it's horrible behaviour and a really cheap way to try and win an argument.

Well clearly she meant 'know your place' Philoslothy. Which is a bit cringey ...feel embarrassed for her bet I know who it was.

Yes, some topics are sensitive which is why certain posters choose not to post on the many threads where people are seeking support but instead only post on threads where people's opinions are asked for on both sides because they are not intended to be a one sided discussion as much as some people would like that

Thing is a poster questioning a situation asking for opinions may not really be asking for or able to cope with some of the more extreme opinions or for them to be expressed in such emotive or harsh ways.

Turning a sensitive "I'm in this situation right now" post into a full on general debate is not a decent thing to do,sometimes being a bit more aware of emotional harm can be a good thing.

I was reading a couple of threads on much the same topic a few weeks ago child maintenance related,off the top of my head a ONS was not relevant and the same poster was on both coming out with things like, women are sperm stealers who trick and trap decent poor vulnerable men who should just be able to opt out if the woman refuses a top. Totally not an opinion that was relevant to the posters actual situations and quite nasty.

I've been on here for years and have never been told off for posting wrong.

Maybe I'm just a natural

I think I might be doing it wrong

Yep totally wrong,everybody knows you are meant to do it the other way

Well I would consider that more of a support thread rather than a general discussion 'what are you're views on' or 'AIBU to think that...' type thread Needs. I think support threads or where people are asking for advice for specific situations then either post tactfully and as sensitively as possible (given that your opinion may fall at an extreme end of the spectrum) or not at all.

ghosty, I love 'cuntdar' and 'bless your tiny toes'. Do you mind if I nick them?

(I'm new here and don't want to step on any toes, tiny or otherwise.)

On a similar topic, does anyone else mentally blacklist those who you've had a non-justified run in with?

It's only happened to me once, when the poster picked up on one word in a post and then ran for post after post asking me to explain myself, accusing me of things etc. I think she was drunk as lots of her posts weren't making proper sense / loads of typos (I searched her history to check if that was usual, and it wasn't)

Eventually I gave up and left the thread but even now, if I see her around I'll give her a wide birth. Blacklisted I tell ye!

Yes queenbean
Two posters who were really nasty on a thread - not with me but still I can't forget it as the poster was genuinely asking for advice and was shocked at the response - as was I, there was no need

People should respond to the thread or not at all. I think responding by dragging up other threads is an admission you've lost the argument for the one you're in.

Doesn't MN have a guideline around exactly this point?..,

Why on earth would there be a guideline against this?

If a poster is contradicting ones self then I see absolutely nothing wrong with bringing this to attention.

If that means highlighting something posted previously which is contradictory then so be it. You should be able to stand by your previous posts.

Cheers!

Lucyccfc - *There is a def clique on here, although I prefer the title 'Queen Bees'.

People who spend way too much time on here, know who's who, their views and previous posts.

Too many 'other' posters who 'feed' the Queen Bees ego's by exclaiming how wise they are or encouraging other posters to take their advice.

Its the internet FFS.*

I wholeheartedly agree. Those that feed the ego of the Queen Bees know exactly who they are, both donor and recipient.

Queen Bean - Yup, there's two or three very regular posters. When I see their names on a thread I just skim over to the next contributor.

I had a run in with them. They are part of the same covern. So, not surprisingly they agree with each other. Mutual ego stroking party, that sort of thing and by Christ are they always right and will not be contradicted. Probably the same person just partial to a regular name change. I contributed to a discussion thread but out of the blue, according to them I was the one with the problem. Oh, and there was me thinking it was an open forum. However, because of the pecking order on MN, I was considered to be in the wrong.

Those are the people who I think are on an almighty piss take with MN as they have posted long and hard enough to become untouchable royalty.

There's more to those posters than meets the eye but I've already been told, 'paranoid much' by a poster up thread for that view so, hey ho.

If more than one person tells me I might be the one with the problem, then I tend to jump to the conclusion that they might be right, and, in the immortal words of that great philosopher of our time, Mickey Flanagan, I go and ave a word with myself.

But henceforth I shall take the viewpoint that the whole of MN is really one person out to get me.

I advance-search all the time. Especially over the last few years since MN might as well change its name to FantasistLyingDramaQueenNet. And it's amazing how often goady fuckers trip themselves up.

The Royalty thing is amusing. It must be the only term in MNlore where the non "Royalty" loathe the term for what they perceive it to mean, and the regular and long-term posters who the non-Rs are talking about, hate it as well because it's never used as a compliment.

I don't have any problem with AS'ing, with the 'forum rules' (talk guidelines), with regular posters, troll hunting or the 101 other things that MNers seem fit to complain about - whilst still using MN.

If I had any issue with the way MN is run or with the people posting on it - I'd leave. It's not my forum, it's not my website, it's not my 'rules'. It's simply a place I like to be. If it wasn't then I'd wonder why I needed to stay.

Funnily enough I've twice accused of doing it when I hadn't - one person had worked in strip joints, another a dental surgery, and I asked as much as their posts were oddly invested on the side of the industry. On occasion people's own extreme investment in random areas gives a background away, without explicit mention, yet they assume you've searched. It's a bit odd, really, that none of us (assume I am the same) realise how much we give away by our attitudes alone, without realising.

I don't look people up, but I do remember the unusual posters who give details which are very identifiable.

I have never observed a clique in all my years on MN probably cos I'm not in it

Glad it's not just me! I've seen someone reference a spreadsheet of blacklisted poster, I never know if that's true but I very much hope I'm not on it!!

QueenBean: The spreadsheet exists, i've seen it with my own eyeballs and I can tell you now that your feminist credentials leave something to be desired accruing to it. You're on the "despicable" watch list.

Cheers!

I agree. It happened to me when I was trying to help someone with my own experiences Another poster came back with a 'what would you know you have done x'

It has really put me off posting now. I came here because something happened that I needed advice on, and I guess I thought I was returning the favour. I thought that was what forums were for, but I suppose I have only used specific ones before, homebrew(!), gardenlaw etc.

I reported the comment I got and it got removed. But really, do peoplw really not think about the impact of what the write? A popular one seems to be 'you sound awful' to posters who are talking about fairly innocuous things. A totally cuntish thing to say

Martin, I can't tell if this is a joke - that's the exact thing that I was being accused off by this other poster??!!!!

It's just a joke. :)

Phew!!