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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that weddings are purgatory

179 replies

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 22/02/2015 08:13

Especially civil ones, over in 15 mins and the worst part, hanging around waiting for the wedding breakfast. 3 hours yesterday between the ceremony and the breakfast. Total boredom and it was bloody freezing. I knew a total of 5 people and that includes DH.

It seems massively self indulgent of people to think that other people actually want to go to these over rated affairs.

OP posts:
halfwildlingwoman · 22/02/2015 08:16

My DH would agree with you! If I love the people involve I am a little more generous, but I see your point. We had a total of 7 people at our wedding and we fed and watered them very well.

NorksAreMessy · 22/02/2015 08:17

YANBU

I dread weddings and loathe the overload music, enforced hours of small talk, waiting and waiting and waiting for food, buying new clothes good enough to be judged in real life and in photos for years to come, not actually speaking the the people whose wedding it is, uncomfortable surroundings, huge expense and long travelling.

And you are supposed to be grateful you are invited.

Grumpy McNorks, signing in

HellBoundNothingFound · 22/02/2015 08:18

I hated organising our wedding so much so I let DH do most of the work. I ordered a dress online and just moaned about the whole affair till it was over. Was a day filled with nerves and fear, I'd never have a wedding again Grin

Can't stand the things

HellBoundNothingFound · 22/02/2015 08:19

I also hate attending the Fucking things

I'm only on my first coffee, my posts are testament to my caffeine need

BathtimeFunkster · 22/02/2015 08:20

I love big parties and all day drinking.

HoggleHoggle · 22/02/2015 08:21

I like weddings but it massively winds me up when there's a long wait between ceremony and breakfast.

Worst one I went to all took place in same room so, ceremony happened then we all waited in tiny bar whilst it was set for dinner then dinner happened then back to shit bar to wait while dance floor was set etc. And all drinks had to be paid for and there were no effing seats in the bar. Pissed me right off.

Mousefinkle · 22/02/2015 08:22

Yanbu. Same goes for christenings Grin. I avoid at all costs.

Charlotte3333 · 22/02/2015 08:23

I love weddings in theory. The reality is that most feel like hard work, especially with two children.

Best wedding we've ever been to was friends in London; registry office, bus ride to pub, drinking and dancing til the small hours, no children, filthy kebab on the way back to the hotel. Even DH enjoyed it and he despises weddings.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 22/02/2015 08:25

So why did you go? And why when you were waiting 3 hours didn't you nip off to the pub or something?

HellBoundNothingFound · 22/02/2015 08:25

I love big parties and all day drinking, Bathtime, that's why I do several festivals each year...and I can do that in really grubby clothes without shampoo in sight...glorious Grin

Handsoff7 · 22/02/2015 08:26

YABU. I love weddings.

Don't go if you don't like them.

SlaggyIsland · 22/02/2015 08:26

Yes! I hate a huge gap between ceremony and food. My favourite weddings have had hors d'oeuvres straight after the ceremony.
For my own, I just had a registry office do with two witnesses and even that I found terrifying. Fucked off out the country for a few days and had a piss up upon return.

crackerjack00 · 22/02/2015 08:27

It seems massively self indulgent of people to think that other people actually want to go to these over rated affairs.

And yet you accepted their invitation? Confused

JollyFrog · 22/02/2015 08:30

YANBU
my neice got married and we hung around so much between church and reception, 4 of us went to mcdonalds as we hadnt eaten since 8am and it was now 1pm. When we got back they were still faffing around with photos.
we finally ate the tepid roast dinner at 5pm!!!!
Other neice getting married this year, dreading it already!!

Jelliebabe2 · 22/02/2015 08:30

Yabu - just don't go if you hate them! I love a wedding me!

Ledkr · 22/02/2015 08:32

Oh yes vile.
Ds brother has just announced his engagement as if they are young lovers and not been living together for ten years.
All I can see is an expensive stag and hen do, expensive present, outfits for all of us, a 200 mile trip and overnight accommodation.
We could have a family holiday for the cost.
And no we can't really not go can we as it's his brother?
They are all the same to me and stil so old fashioned with the bride sat in silence while the menfolk make speeches.
I'm just praying they elope.

Twooter · 22/02/2015 08:32

Yabu. I love weddings too.

Stealthpolarbear · 22/02/2015 08:32

i love weddings
im sure peopple used to go to the pub just to sit and chat with a drink, used to spend hours there. yet these days its a chore?

NorksAreMessy · 22/02/2015 08:33

Do take your advice and 'don't oh' any more.
Exception made for my sister and a cousin that I had to take my DOM (dear old Mum) to. Social obligations outweighed natural ambivalence

And that is far too many long words for a Sunday morning

Original poster
DameEdnasBridesmaid · 22/02/2015 08:36

So why did you go? And why when you were waiting 3 hours didn't you nip off to the pub or something? Miles away from anywhere in middle of nowhere.

To those of you have said 'don't go/why did you go' it's not always so straight forward is it? If it was a wedding in my family then I would have no problem saying no thanks. However, this was DH's family and I was going because he wanted me to - he didn't want to go either, but thinks that it his his duty to go (his brother and sister didn't go - they had good excuses and got there first

OP posts:
quietlysuggests · 22/02/2015 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DameEdnasBridesmaid · 22/02/2015 08:37

Ledkr got it in one!

OP posts:
MartinJD · 22/02/2015 08:39

No, you are not being unreasonable, weddings can be boring affairs, especially if you end up sat with boring people!

Cheers!

BictoriaVeckham · 22/02/2015 08:39

My wedding this year and Im a born worrier; constantly thinking about other peoples perceptions of weddings - especially the waiting around, no kids, little drink offered during the meal, music, right food, enough food, bridesmaids happy in dresses, invites didn't include a poem, not too grabby, be clear on what you want, hotel lists, taxis back to hotel etc etc

I wish we had eloped.

The planning of ours, which is only a village hall type one, is frustrating the hell out of me due to all the reasons above and more.

I just want to marry my DP in front of my friends and family but it is because people like the OP and their judgemental attitude to what a wedding should be like, that I'm worrying so much.

adds canapés to the to do list due to waiting time between ceremony end time and sit down to eat time

eckythumpenallthat · 22/02/2015 08:39

Well if u think it's that self indulgent why did u accept the invitation in the first place ?!

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