J'Accuse... I do not believe a sizeable minority on here when they say "I blah blah blah"

[Salmotrutta]

E.g. :-
"I cook from scratch" - I hate "from scratch". We used to say "everything was homemade".

And those of you who state "homemade potato wedges" ? ...yeah, I'm impressed. So that would be some potatoes shoved in the oven then?

My lot order their own via JustEat.
There are DH and I, dutifully scarfing out veg stir fry when ding dong, the bell goes and yells of "it's for meee"...

Katie when mine are old enough to do that I will sit and pinch bits off their plates like they have done to me so many times!! (Unless it's kebab, need to be very drunk to eat that)

Plates?
Nono, they just pay for their swag and disappear, food is never to be seen until Sunday (the day on which they clean) when encrusted boxes of congealed MSG appear in the bin.

Aahhhh nice, have got all that to come. Though DS1 who's 11 will disappear with food and I dread hoovering under his bed

Can I please ask if in the competition one upmanship that seems to be on some MN child rearing if anyone has ever claimed they never let DC as babies injure themselves aka fell off the bed and had a bruise/got nosebleed/became a paediatrician so as to allow for the best possible outcome in case of forehead against Mamas and Papas rocking chair scenario?

Just curious as DH is beside himself for 'letting' DD - who is a ninja at the age of eight months - roll off the bed and hit her nose bless her. I feel quite relaxed about the whole thing (but not quite so relaxed that I didn't call the gp to get advice!).

Ps I love my tumble dryer

I find stuff like velour, velvets, dc tights and things that are much softer when tumble dried, do not need to go in till try.

They will be just as fluffy if you give them a 20 min burst in the TD, then transfer to normal drying area.

I was told before we got ours, they damage clothes yada yada, and yet loads of clothes have actually been brought back to life after using it, stuff that needs fluffing up.

livingzuid - my DS was the Master at accidental injuries!

Lax parent, me.

Oh, and by the way, good to see you all manfully kept the thread alive until I got back from work!

Oh, there is a brilliant thread somewhere about alarming, but ultimately trivial baby/toddler injuries - great stories, all with good outcomes.
The general consensus was that when hitting your precious baby' head against the door frame/wall by misjudging the distance, then unless there was actual blood, it did not count.

livingzuid, a bumped and bleeding nose will not have done your DD any harm. Minor injuries to the face (I am not talking sledge hammers here) leave the brain alone and usually look a lot worse than they are. Hope your DD and your DH is ok.

DH tripped over his clown feet coming downstairs with baby DD in his arms.
At no point did DD hit anything due to his contortions mid fall. He is still traumatised by what if's and DD is almost 20
His back has been fucked ever since though.

I've managed to allow both mine to roll off furniture as babies, they're both fine. DD1 fell down the stairs a few weeks ago THAT shit me up, but she didn't have a bruise on her. Children are very resilient, luckily for mine

*robust not resilient.

Katie... my DH is equally traumatised by the time he dropped a few-days-old DD (now 14) down the stairs. From about halfway up.

His back is not fucked as he didn't save her. She bounced on every step. He'd kept her downstairs with him so I could have a sleep. I went from deep, deep asleep to running down the stairs in a split second when I heard her cry.

One Summer we went to A&E so many times the receptionist stopped having to ask our surname!

*disclaimer Both children have chronic illnesses that had needed attention as well as the accidents they had had.

I won't tell you about the time DS2 broke his ankle on holiday just before we went out and I gave him some Calpol and we went anyway DH did give him a shoulder ride.

I forgot to strap ds2 into his buggy one particularly windy day. I stopped for a second and it flipped over and DS2 rolled out. It was alarming and I shrieked but he carried on sleeping

I don't have a washing line, everything gets tumble dried apart from fragile stuff that gets dried on a hanger by the boiler.

Though I am a very bad mum who has let her kids get hurt:

DS at 3, climbed onto the kitchen worktop, opened the cupboard to get at the sugar. Fell off and landed on his head. I was on the phone. Two days later nursery phoned me to say that they had found a soft quishy spot on his head. Had to come home and take him to A&E. He was fine.

DD at 2, did not want to go for her nap, left her crying. Big crash. She had fallen out of her cot head first. Her front tooth was at a 90 degree angle. Rushed to the dentist with blood still coming out of her mouth. It took a year for that tooth to come out. Then she had a couple of years with a missing front tooth.

This Sunday morning I woke DD, she told me that after I had gone to bed last night DS went out and told her that he might not be back. I went into his room and he was fast asleep. I did not notice that he had gone out nor come back. Thankfully they are teenagers.

But at least I do make them cakes and homemade meals.

My mum sent my brother to school with appendicitis. Tbf he used to moan every Monday morning to get out of school so when he was really ill she didn't believe him!

DS1 fell off his bike and DH 'helped' him up by his arm. DS1 yelped, he'd broken that elbow!

It's a wonder they have made it to 18&20 tbh!

Ah feck it, I'll post this story again:
I dropped precious preemie DS2 out of my arms. On to hard floor. I only realised that I had dropped him when something started giving a v high pitched, pitiful squeal at me feet
I felt terrible. He had only just come home from hospital, he had not reached his EDD yet and was less than albs.

By sheer coincidence, he had a hospital appointment the next day and I debated with myself whether to own up about this incident or not, and whether they would remove my child immediately or call SS later….
In the end I told the nurse who weighed and measured him and she said "Love, you're not the first and you won't be the last". She made me feel so much less of an incompetent mother [thank]

less than 5 lbs - autocorrect does not seem to approve of his weight

Love this thread.

DS2 had to be took to A&E after DS1 pushed him into the coffee table and cut his ear, which resulted in superglue and a lovely scar. DS2 also hate half a big tub of sudocreme once!! (Left it too close to the cot on his chest of drawers)

I cooked from scratch tonight. We had corned beef hash (admittedly made from Sundays left over veg), baked beans and fried eggs. Covered in ketchup and mopped up with cheap white bread and butter. Yum.

(Quinoa is rice for cunts)