To be surprised at how little STBX will have to pay

[Stardustnight]

STBX is on a very good salary indeed and his living costs are low.

Despite this, according to the CSA calculator he will only have to pay £800 a month for 3 children, which compared to the amount of money he actually has, isn't a lot - £200 a week.

Am I being unreasonable to be feeling mildly disgruntled and short changed? Or am I grabby and entitled ?

Spade I would really love it if you could please point out where I have been unreasonable? Thanks.

I agree with you Ilovesooty and reported it.

Hilarious 'long term pay out plan'

It's called supporting your children you twat.

No I didn't read all the thread. Just the beginning and end ones, no mention of DV in those.
The DCs are their joint responsibility to care for financially but it seems that the OP expects to just live off her ex, that is not reasonable.
Personally I couldn't think of anything worse than having to rely on an ex. Yes he has a responsibility to look after his children financially, but he doesn't have a responsibility to look after his wife. There's a fine line.

Blueberrymuffffin the OP repeatedly said her concern was for the children not that she was looking to live off her ex.

You're not living alone and bringing up your children are you?

Try reading the full thread. I'm glad others have reported you.

"cuntfart of a post"

What is it about this thread that has brought together some sort of cuntfest ?? Is it because she has an inheritance? Because she has the gall to expect a man pays a decent amount towards the upbringing of his dc? Or maybe some people are just cunts and they like to hang together on a thread

Staggering Blueberry just staggering. Make the effort to read a thread next time. You won't end up appearing to be such a fuckwit.

Just STAGGERED that someone pops on to the end of an 800 odd post thread to post that pile of utter shite.

Blueberry You need to look at the bigger picture. Or learn to fucking read.

Well her first post has been deleted anyway.

OP YANBU. You've been dealt a really shit hand in life, and I'm stunned that there are posters who cannot see past the fact that you are better off financially than them.
FWIW, you sound great. You've been through a lot, but you left your ex, which must have taken enormous courage, you have a plan, and you've stood up for yourself here. Years of abuse can really erode your self esteem, so if this is what you're like now, I imagine before long you'll be soaring.

Pickled I think you have been unreasonable in insisting that certain posters have given good and constructive advice when Star has said quite clearly that she finds it to be unhelpful and upsetting.

Op please start a new thread in relationships before I explode with anger on your behalf

I've just sat and read your thread this afternoon and I'm astounded at the absolute bullshit being spouted by people who have even been in your situation and can't see how you need to talk through this stuff, people, just because you are years down the line, let this op speak about her unfairness !!! Then Stop following the op and leave her alone !

She is vulnerable, pregnant and only just kicked her abusive husband out !!! You are bullying her !

Without doubt they are absolute cunts, they have followed you on this thread arguing the toss and honestly if they weren't posting on a anonymous Internet forum they would not have the balls to be so rude to your face......hateful behaviour from women who should know better

Anyway you sound like you are looking into things which may not have been obvious before, I too would take some shit hot legal advice if possible and talk to as many people in rl as possible. You need all the support you can get and you don't want to agree to something under duress, you are incredibly vulnerable right now, get someone robust in your side.
And good luck

Wow blueberry utterly ignorant comment. So you think the NRP has a right to start a new life, have a new family, make new children while the RP is looking after the children most of the time (and so seriously limited in their career), have very little time to themselves, use all of their disposable income.

If the absent parent can't start a new life, too bad! Supporting their children comes first, I very much doubt OP is going to be out meeting a new partner, dressing in furr coats with three young children at home and £800 a month to feed and clothe them and no one to help look after them.

''You're not living alone and bringing up your children are you?''

I'm not currently bringing up children on my own but I was a lone parent from the day my son was born for three years.

At times I got £5pw, other times I got nothing, all whilst my ex had a building company ripping people off and sometimes earning thousands in a week, whilst also claiming benefits.

As I explained in my previous post,

No apology for your appalling post that was deleted I see blueberrymuffffin

Well happily it's been deleted.

Oh, don't worry about blueberry! I just fell asleep and it had been deleted when I woke up!

Blueberry - it doesn't matter that STBX was abusive. He was, but parents should pay for their children.

Put it this way: I have abused no one but I am having to pay, aren't i? I'm having to pay because at present I can't work, I'm having to feed them and clothe them, pay for the things they enjoy and try to put some aside for their future.

That isn't 'paying out'; it's bringing up my family.

Now STBX would, ideally, have joint parental responsibilities but as it is, he can't.

But there has been brilliant support here too, honestly there has, I couldn't have asked for more kindness from so many!

So why would you be so nasty to someone then?

Because they might get more than you did?

As I explained in my previous post, I'm just proud of myself for providing DS with everything he has ever needed and pity his pathetic excuse of his father. I've never chased him for money. It used to piss me off that he didn't have the worry of anything, he didn't have to make decisions about our son. I just get on with it.
Things were bloody tough for a long time but it made me stronger as a person. It's just life. You bring these little people in to the world and you work all the hours under the sun to give them what they need.

Blueberry the fact YOUR ex ripped you and the state off does not mean every single other parent raising a child or children alone should not be given sufficient money to do so!

give them what they need

Does that include compassion, empathy and basic decency?

I said it pages again but Fedup appears to lack the understanding of what it is like to be completely alone in the world - Stars journey will be very different because of her lack of emotional support and practical support from other adults who prioritise her.

I get this attitude ALL THE FUCKING TIME and it does my head in - it's in line with 'I am more or less a single parent because my husband works away' that makes me want to say 'Be a dear and do fuck off'

Having people who care about you, prioritise you and support you whilst dealing with life is not in any comparable to dealing with life when you don't. not saying it's harder but I certainly can not do things the way others do them.

And in case you missed this from me and few other posters www.entitledto.co.uk

Perhaps if you had chased him for money some of his illegal practices might have come to light blueberry.

I can't support these children alone. I'll need help from somewhere - be that the state or STBX. Since the state didn't create them, it should be the latter.

Don't you think?

Thanks tinkly and you are so right. It's tightrope walking with no safety net: you don't expect to fall, but if you do ....