You have been treated like crap here by quite a few posters, just remember it says a lot about them, how unhappy they must be and they are to be pitied really. Anyone who gets off on being an arsehole to someone who needs support and has gone through hell must be really bitter and unhappy
I assume you are aiming this at me? You know me? My circumstances? The hell I might have been through?
Perhaps I'll enlighten you. I was left a SAHM, heavily pregnant with two other children, by a self employed ex who doesn't have to pay any maintenance. I endured months of physical abuse and years of mental abuse at his hands. I endured additional physical and mental abuse from his family and the OW. I was kicked, punched, and slapped whilst pregnant. My children were subjected to DNA testing. I was dragged through the courts as an 'unfit mother' and lost my home and many of my personal treasured possessions (including photos of my late father with the children).
Many years later, I am entirely self-sufficient in my own home (mortgage free, as it happens, thanks to family support) with a new career which I work at full time. I have a wide circle of friends, date regularly and generally enjoy life. I am not 'bitter' and am sure as hell not to be 'pitied'. My children are in childcare before/after school and I provide for them, no one else. I am strong, independent and have manouvered myself into a position where no man could ever do to me again what my ex did - financially, mentally and physically. I did that largely on my own through sheer determination that he had had enough years of my life, I wasn't going to give him any more.
The reality is tea and sympathy did nothing for me. It just allowed me to feel sorry for myself and stroked my bruised ego but didn't move me forwards. Fortunately, a good 'been there, done that' friend took me in hand and showed me that I had to fight. It isn't acceptable that piss poor social policy allows men (mainly) to walk away from their parental repsonsibilities with nothing other than a small hit to their pay packets. There are sure as hell any number of women out there who will stand by them and see them as victims of their ex and scream 'money grabber' at the first opportunity. I should know, my ex has been with any number of them. Far more people will stab you in the back as a 'benefit scrounger' when they realise you are a single mum then be nice and empathic to your face. But that's the way it is. Either you bemoan the fact it's unfair or you fight and trust me, when you fight, the unfairness of the system disappears because you no longer need what you think it should have given you. My ex may well have a bigger house, more money, better holidays etc. etc. etc. but he doesn't walk in my shoes, he will never in a million years have the love and respect of his children in the way I have and he will never understand why I am now able to laugh in his face when previously I cowered at the sight of him. It's priceless but it sure as hell cost me to get to this point.
You are very, very wrong about me and I believe, based on my own very similar experiences to the OP, very wrong about the type of support you think she needs.