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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mean to not have asked him to get off? At the park

288 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 20/02/2015 10:20

Took ds to the park, it was on the way back from somewhere and getting dark so was only spending 15 minutes there at the most.

The park had completely emptied apart from one little girl. It's a big park, lots to do. Ds headed straight for a single swing, there are other swings but this one is a bit different.

The little girls parents called her to go home all within 60 seconds of us arriving. The little girl started crying that she wanted to go on the swing again before she went and stood by the swing ds was on. She stood there all arms crossed and grumpy faced waiting for him to get off.

For a second I thought I might ask him to let her have a go but thought better of it as she had the whole park to choose from.

Her parents stood there for 2-3 minutes before calling her away.

Ds is the most sharing child you could meet really he's always the one standing at the bottom of the slide letting all the other kids go first, he's always very patiently waiting for toddlers to decide if they want to go down the slide and stopping bigger kids from bashing into them so I thought sod it he's having his turn.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 20/02/2015 15:21

No its not. which is why you remove them.from the situation and don't allow them.to bully people into getting what they want.

Newrule · 20/02/2015 15:23

That is bullying? Is that what this little girl was doing? Or is that an indication she will turn out to be a bully? My oh my. I don't know what else to say.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/02/2015 15:25

Well what ever you call it, it's behaviour that shouldn't t have been allowed by the parents nor got her a ride on the swing.

She hadn't been made to wait ages he'd only just got on.

zzzzz · 20/02/2015 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/02/2015 15:29

Dd 2 is very head strong and I've had to remove her from many a situation because it's unfair to ruin someone else's enjoyment of something like that. nor is it a polite or appropriate way to behave. It's a public place everyone takes their turn fairly.

I turn down any offers of being allowed a go if its not her turn because that's not a lesson I want her to learn nor a good thing for other children to be learning when they are taking their fair turn

NancyRaygun · 20/02/2015 15:29

There is a lot of projecting on this thread - we don't know the girl's history, nor her parents. OP knows her son would have instinctively given up the swing - but she is worried he might link it to feelings of being second best or not worthy. So: thats her baggage.

So, everyone has their own shit going on: you do what you feel is right at the time. I can honestly say that if I heard that a little girl had to go but just wanted a go on a particular swing, and we were staying longer: I would let her on it and show my DC that its nice to be kind. REGARDLESS of the child's behaviour. For me, the lesson I would be teaching my child at that point overrules the lesson that girl is learning. It's still looking out for my own kid: just a different reaction.

If we had to go too: then tough shit little girl. The only rule of the playground is that everyone waits their turn. thanks Miss Rabbit

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 20/02/2015 15:35

That's not bullying

No, it's not bullying, it's petulance. Which also wouldn't win the day in my family.
Little lad had only just arrived, the playground had been pretty much empty until his arrival, aside from little brat girl, who then decided she wanted a turn on the swing little lad had chosen.
Little girl should have been told by her parents to wait for her turn, even if it meant them waiting another five minutes before going home. Simple solution.

Samcro · 20/02/2015 15:51

op yanbu
your son was having his go, the other parents should have just taken their child home.
only on mn could a pouting child be come a victim

TheReluctantCountess · 20/02/2015 15:55

Yanbu.

SaucyJack · 20/02/2015 15:59

Agree with everything single you said about the child having aggressively high self-esteem and being destined for a life of arrogance and rudeness New....... except that I would apply it to the wee girl.

Funny ol' world innit.

JudgeRinderSays · 20/02/2015 15:59

I would have smiled and called across to the parents, 'he is just having a little go'.Let him play on it for a 2 or 3 minutes (which I think is a reasonable length of time when someone is waiting', lifted him off and let the other kid on.

JudgeRinderSays · 20/02/2015 16:00

Bullying???!!! FFS You cannot be serious!

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/02/2015 16:12

So, used the wrong word. makes no difference to what I said. whether or not the intention was to guilt the ds into letting g her have a go or the parents to let her stay longer it doesn't change that the behaviour should have been dealt with by the parents, and not be rewarded by kicking the poor kid off the swing.

like I said in a Pp. This easily could have been dd2. She can get the right hump Grin

But I always remove her and I also always apologise to the child of there's a chance she made them.feel guilty or uncomfortable or got in the way of their go.

salthill · 20/02/2015 16:19

No you weren't mean at all, it's one of life's lessons for the little girl to learn. Why didn't the parents say"no there's a little boy on it."

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/02/2015 17:28

Nomama..sorry..my sense of humour was somewhat reduced by a certain person who was stirring away Smile then I lost signal. I certainly have no gard feelings towards YOU.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/02/2015 17:30

or even *hard feelings.

I WISH i was wee girls mum btw. She asked to go on the swing..DD can't speak. That would be amazing development.

Nomama · 20/02/2015 17:33

That's OK, fanjo. No apologies required.

It's been one of those days for me... I stayed in waiting for a delivery, went out for an hour to get my hair cut, OH was about 10 minutes late... and yes, the delivery was attempted in those 10 minutes... then another delivery was made here... for next door!!! It has been a bit 'sod's law' here today! Smile

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/02/2015 17:34

Oh how annoying. Hope it arrives first thing tomorrow :)

Nomama · 20/02/2015 17:38

I'm not sure I'm bothered... it's a replacement part for the hoover Grin

Missrubyring · 20/02/2015 17:38

YANBU, if the girl wanted a go that badly she could/ should have asked nicely instead of standing there pouting.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/02/2015 17:39

Maybe she hasn't fully honed her social skills at age 4

Norfolkandchance1234 · 20/02/2015 17:40

Yanbu she had her turn and was being a spoilt little brat

lem73 · 20/02/2015 17:45

Exactly Salthill. I would have told my kids that as well and told them off if they were making faces. These people probably assumed the little boy would get off because, for some reason, their dd had more right to ANOTHER go than the little boy did to enjoying his first go. YWNBU Op.

laughingmyarseoff · 20/02/2015 17:45

YANBU OP, not only because your DS was on it and had just got on. But if I was a parent, calling my child to come and leave and they were ignoring me to sulk and try their luck I would be very, very pissed off if you'd then said 'would you like to swing'.

If I told my child it was time to leave and they were purposefully ignoring me then I'd feel you were undermining me by then offering the swing. On that basis alone, I would have ignored the little girl because to offer the swing would have countered what the parents wanted, which was her to do as she was told and leave.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/02/2015 17:49

Oh yes...cancel that order!