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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to speak to this lady again?

160 replies

Alexaa · 19/02/2015 17:09

DD1 has recently befriended a new girl at her gymnastics classes. She has a brother the same age as DS1 so we invited them around for dinner last weekend.

I have a small hobby that involves me making clothes for my younger DC out of vintage clothes patterns. DD1 happened to be wearing a pale blue smocked dress and DD2 was wearing a pale pink one in a similar design. She asked wear I got these "delightful dresses" from and I told her that I had made them. She then replied with these exact words. "That's a little bit pretentious if you ask me". Then continued talking as if nothing happened. As the night continued, she made snide remarks at certain things. I could have forgiven her if she'd left it at that.

The next gymnastics lesson came and as you do, I was sat on the toilet when I heard her talking about me to another woman saying stuff like. "They were wearing the most hideous dresses that she brought upon herself to make" and "Who actually eats lobster in this day in age". The last one made did it for me. "The size of the house was so large, it looked like Hogwarts had come to life- bet the husband sells drugs." I burst out of the toilet and she saw me, gulped and took off like a five year old, leaving the other lady behind to look all flustered. I was so astounded that any adult would say that. I have no idea what to do. DH has laughed about it and told me she is pathetic, but we are going to a special class tonight when they open the gym up and let you do whatever, and I know she's going to be there. What the hell should I do???

OP posts:
Eva50 · 20/02/2015 07:27

My Granny made all my dresses when I was little and I have made some for my friends little girl. I have boys who wouldn't appreciate them.

You did well to confront her OP. She is jealous. I would encourage your children to make other friends. I certainly would have nothing more to do with this family outside Gymnastics.

The woman she was speaking to will now know that she is a cow.

MojaveWanderer123 · 20/02/2015 08:05

Yeah I agree with Worra that's what I was thinking.
Still wanna see the dresses though.

FinallyHere · 20/02/2015 08:11

Jealousy.

Such an ugly emotion.

Trickydecision · 20/02/2015 08:38

I don't see anything odd about the OP's version of what the woman said. Does MN require people who bitch about others to speak in perfectly grammatical English if reports of their remarks are to be believed?

The OP has given a perfectly valid reason why she does not want pictures of the dresses and her house to be picked over simply for the entertainment of those on here.

Where did the OP claim to be a 'naice (stupid mumsnet cliché) middleclass MNetter?

This ridiculous analysis of every word of a post is so tiresome, paticularly when fuelled by jealousy.

NancyRaygun · 20/02/2015 08:45

I would be so blimmin proud if I had made my daughters dresses that I would probably embroider "I FUCKING MADE THIS!" on the front of them.

This woman sounds like a hideous bitch and has learnt the hard way that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!

I can't imagine being so rude about someone kind enough to ask me and mine over for lunch. She sounds awful - forget posting pics of your house: name and shame the paranoid bitchy drug-dealer-house spotter!!! just a joke

Schoolaroundthecorner · 20/02/2015 08:54

Whose jealous? Maybe the other mum, based on the story the OP outlined but I doubt any other poster here cares about the size of the OPs house or what she has for dinner. Sure I make handmade things myself. I think the initial responses were lighthearted and the OP has overreacted. I thought it was funny (not the OP being insulted but what the other mum saw fit to pick up on) so that's why I posted what I did, I did post a Grin to indicate it was a joke but obviously that got overlooked. The majority of the posts here are supportive OP and no one on here called you pretentious despite what you seem to think.

Schoolaroundthecorner · 20/02/2015 08:55

Aaagggghhh *Who is I meant to post Grin

Trickydecision · 20/02/2015 09:08

school, I did see your Grin and my comment about jealousy was not aimed at you. There have been some unpleasantly snide remarks from others, despite the supportive majority.

CocobearSqueeze · 20/02/2015 09:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/02/2015 09:10

Have I missed the snotty comments?, I thought the thread was generally warm and supportive, and stealth boast posts were said with a Grin and meant with humour.

Trickydecision · 20/02/2015 09:24

Stillstayingclassy, the following scored on my snideyometer:

If that is an accurate account of what the woman said to her friend then she has a really weird way of talking

I don't believe her comments were quite as you state. I sense some over-embellishment in your re-telling not to mention how ungrammatical they are

It's a shame you don't have pictures of the dresses.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/02/2015 09:28

I suppose when you put them there like that, yes they do read as being a bit nasty.

Weebirdie · 20/02/2015 11:36

Well said Tricky.

TheListingAttic · 20/02/2015 11:58

Just carry on being vaguely polite but disinterested whenever you run into her. And make sure that when you do, you always have some talcum powder caked under and around one nostril.

countessmarkyabitch · 20/02/2015 11:59

How is it snide or nasty to state a simple opinion that tale has been embellished in the retelling? It's very common to do so, most people do it. Nothing nasty about saying so.

TrollsTrollsEverywhere · 20/02/2015 12:17

The rude lady does speak in the most ridiculous way though. If they were the actual words that she spoke then I think it's worth clarifying!

I don't think it's unreasonable to wonder if the OP is using a bit of poetic licence like lots of posters do Its not the crime of the century but I'd like to know if the rude lady really spoke like that.

They were wearing the most hideous dresses that she brought upon herself to make = a really odd turn of phrase as are the other two phrases. Does anyone honestly think otherwise?

CrispyFern · 20/02/2015 12:32

Oh :( no dress pictures.

:(
:(
:(

Weebirdie · 20/02/2015 12:40

I use the expression - brought upon him/herself.

countessmarkyabitch · 20/02/2015 12:44

you don't use it in that context though I bet. Closest thing would be "took it upon themselves" but that doesn't make sense either.
Neither do the other comments.

Annab1985 · 20/02/2015 13:02

Personally I would confront her, it would take guts but it's better to have it out with her (do it calmly, don't lose it with her). Then cut her dead as there is no going back from that sort of pathetic behaviour. She's clearly jealous of you and has issues.

Weebirdie · 20/02/2015 13:12

Countess,

I think maybe the OP is like me in that she's written exactly what was said, for clarity, but then it doesn't come across quite right in print.

Original poster
Alexaa · 20/02/2015 13:16

Yes BOFster none for the kids!!!

And thanks mimishimmi I don't know why people get so funny about making clothes???

Okay Goady thanks, didn't know what Gak was!!! But I do know Gok!!

By the way countessbitch not embellishing but obviously a one-sided story as I'm the only person telling it???? Also, please don't comment that it's grammatically incorrect because I didn't say it!!! Thanks for pointing out her mistakes though- will be sure to tell her that an ever so kind lady took her time to do so!!!

WoodenGo did I ever suggest I'm middle class?

Thanks for the support Tricky and highlighting those snide remarks for those who couldn't quite see them scattered here and there!!!

I realise most people have been very warm to towards me on here and I'm very grateful for that- I appreciate that very much!!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 20/02/2015 13:21

For me it's not even the language, it's the apparently completely unprovoked attack on someone you've agreed to have dinner with...just very odd and one sided.

But life can be strange I suppose

Either way, why go to the trouble of bursting out of a toilet cubicle and then saying nothing? Bit of an anti-climax that Grin

WorraLiberty · 20/02/2015 13:23

X posted

You're !!! privileges may well end up being revoked you know Grin

Original poster
Alexaa · 20/02/2015 13:25

Unfortunately, I would have loved to say something. But she stood around for less than a second before walking off. And yes, as I put, I found it astounding that any person would say that. I meant the way she said it and the fact she ACTUALLY said it!! I wasn't going to shout at the other lady, she had no idea who I was and it would probably cause me to have more enemies- which I wouldn't like!!!

OP posts:
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