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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to speak to this lady again?

160 replies

Alexaa · 19/02/2015 17:09

DD1 has recently befriended a new girl at her gymnastics classes. She has a brother the same age as DS1 so we invited them around for dinner last weekend.

I have a small hobby that involves me making clothes for my younger DC out of vintage clothes patterns. DD1 happened to be wearing a pale blue smocked dress and DD2 was wearing a pale pink one in a similar design. She asked wear I got these "delightful dresses" from and I told her that I had made them. She then replied with these exact words. "That's a little bit pretentious if you ask me". Then continued talking as if nothing happened. As the night continued, she made snide remarks at certain things. I could have forgiven her if she'd left it at that.

The next gymnastics lesson came and as you do, I was sat on the toilet when I heard her talking about me to another woman saying stuff like. "They were wearing the most hideous dresses that she brought upon herself to make" and "Who actually eats lobster in this day in age". The last one made did it for me. "The size of the house was so large, it looked like Hogwarts had come to life- bet the husband sells drugs." I burst out of the toilet and she saw me, gulped and took off like a five year old, leaving the other lady behind to look all flustered. I was so astounded that any adult would say that. I have no idea what to do. DH has laughed about it and told me she is pathetic, but we are going to a special class tonight when they open the gym up and let you do whatever, and I know she's going to be there. What the hell should I do???

OP posts:
ragged · 19/02/2015 19:10

Can we see piccie of one or more of the dresses, OP?

carabos · 19/02/2015 19:12

My parents eat a lot of lobster and my DF brings me one when he comes to visit. He has a boat and a couple of lobster pots. I think they call that "foraging" these days...

SingingSands · 19/02/2015 19:17

I'd bloody love it if someone invited me to tea and cooked lobster!

ragged · 19/02/2015 19:19

ps: and from experience, don't blank her with silence. False civility fine. It's not worth the stress to fall out with someone in same village by never speaking to them again, however much they deserve it.

Pancakeflipper · 19/02/2015 19:24

Take her a lobster sarnie, give her a little plastic bag of herbs and roll-ups and wink.

saintlyjimjams · 19/02/2015 19:35

I'm now craving lobster. And I want to see your house. And smocks.

Alexaa · 19/02/2015 19:36

I don't actually make dresses very often. I have a very demanding job and it takes up a lot of my time with emergencies and night shifts etc..so unfortunately to those of you who said about making their DDs dresses or having Etsy- no can do....

I'd just like to say to everyone who thinks I am stealth boasting that they are very wrong and I just want to know how to deal with this lady in an appropriate manner and those of you who can't understand that I've tried to ignore but this has actually upset me quite a bit.

If I wanted to stealth boast I would title this post as "Come and look at my amazing life everybody" but quite clearly I didn't, please take this into consideration before you type your rude comments.

DD and I have returned from gymnastics class and as many of you said, she fled like the plague. I managed to confront her and I don't think she will be bothering me again. Used many of your ideas so thanks to everybody who helped and no thanks to those who bitched- you are as low as the lady from the gymnastics class.

I also don't feel very comfortable talking pictures of my house and dresses and posting them all over the web as clearly, I would get a lot of nasty feedback. I mean, look how much I got just by writing it down- I don't need a visual stimulus to wind up more people!!

Many thanks for all of your feedback,

Alexa

OP posts:
Didactylos · 19/02/2015 19:44

Invite her back

make your daughters Marie Antoinette style costumes
snacks must include foie-gras and caviare. Make a fuss about the wines
hire a butler for the occasion
moan about the issuses of being married to an international money launderer
and the problems of getting planning permission for a Quiddich arena

Didactylos · 19/02/2015 19:44

oh pout, but glad you faced her down in your update

EdSheeran · 19/02/2015 19:48

"If I wanted to stealth boast I would title this post as "Come and look at my amazing life everybody" but quite clearly I didn't, please take this into consideration before you type your rude comments."

Well, erm, no because then that would be boasting openly wouldn't it? Confused

Alexaa · 19/02/2015 19:52

Just thought I'd put it out there EdSheeran, as someone put earlier, those who think I'm stealth boasting are cut from the same cloth as the lady at the gym....

OP posts:
BOFster · 19/02/2015 19:54

You could share your lobster recipe though?

Feminine · 19/02/2015 19:55

op most posters have been supportive,and have warmed to you.
Confused

babygiraffe86 · 19/02/2015 19:57

Oh no - I work with a guy from Whitby who goes fishing and now and again will bring free lobsters to work, actually made lobster and mussel pasta tonight. So :-p to her people do eat lobster (and it's awesome when it's fresh and free)
I'd be jealous of the dress - but that's because, and I've tried, me and mums sewing machine do not make good friends haha!
i honestly think she is a toxic lady and you are not unreasonable for not wanting to speak to her again - people like that are never a positive influence. I would however still allow dd's to play together :-)

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 19/02/2015 19:59

I did once to to a dinner party where someone had hired a butler. Would rather have had some coke and lobster though.

OP you need to start thinking about DD's packed lunch for the next competion. Foie gras and caviar? A tiny bottle of truffle oil? And a sherbet dib-dab for you, natch!

Trickydecision · 19/02/2015 20:04

Just thought I'd put it out there EdSheeran, as someone put earlier, those who think I'm stealth boasting are cut from the same cloth as the lady at the gym....

Absolutely correct. Fine examples on here of MN spite. Why be so unpleasant?

saintlyjimjams · 19/02/2015 20:04

I was joking! Actually I wanted to see the dresses because I adore that style of dress & I wanted to see the house to see whether the other woman was being an uber-cow, but I didn't expect you to post them. I live in a big old town house btw - no stealth boast - it looks like the The Young Ones set Grin - God knows what she would have made of that!

Am still craving lobster.

worksallhours · 19/02/2015 20:07

I am still struggling with how making your children clothes is somehow pretentious. Confused

Alexaa · 19/02/2015 20:08

Yes, lobster recipe here BOFster

I guess I don't take critisism well Blush Feminine

I want the children to play together still- maybe just arrange for the dads to take- although she might not want a drug dealer's family to look after the little girl Grin only joking I think she's learnt her lesson but I won't be inviting her around any time soon (I'm just not as brave as some of the posters on here!!!!) babygiraffe86

And yes, I just wish they lived locally so that she could see me packing lunches!!! LonnyVonny

I agree Trickydecision I thought we were all meant to be grown-ups on here...

Haha saintlyjimjams I'm sure you're house is lovely and she would have hated it probably

I know- I guess some people just can't do sewing so don't like those who can??? worksallhours

OP posts:
EdSheeran · 19/02/2015 20:09

I wasn't saying you were by the way, just commenting on your statement.

Marcipex · 19/02/2015 20:09

I'd love to see the dresses too. I often look at vintage patterns and wonder....
some of the knitting ones are so complex.

Alexaa · 19/02/2015 20:13

Okay EdSheeran I understand now

Oh I feel your pain Marcipex! I can't knit at all- tried to teach us at the Brownie's and I was the only one who couldn't get it Grin it's funny how you can be good at one thing but so bad at something considered quite similar!!! Patterns are great though as you can cut out the shapes exactly and come with instructions so simpler than just thinking it up on your own (I praise tailors and fashion designers)

OP posts:
BOFster · 19/02/2015 20:20

That looks delicious- I hope you didn't waste any on the kids! Watching Sewing Bee now- some lovely vintage patterns being used on there tonight.

mimishimmi · 19/02/2015 20:22

I used to make my daughter's dresses too (she won't let me now that she's in her early teens) and sometimes used to get a similar reaction so I do believe you. It's only because similar dresses cost $100+ to buy that's if you could even find them. Explaining that my great-grandmother and grandmother were seamstresses seemed to pacify them somewhat. Your husband is right, just don't have her back again.

GoadyGeisha · 19/02/2015 20:29

Should have made some handmade earrings out of the lobster claws and worn them to the gym.

iklboo you're thinking of Gok, not Gak.