to not want to speak to this lady again?

[Alexaa]

DD1 has recently befriended a new girl at her gymnastics classes. She has a brother the same age as DS1 so we invited them around for dinner last weekend.

I have a small hobby that involves me making clothes for my younger DC out of vintage clothes patterns. DD1 happened to be wearing a pale blue smocked dress and DD2 was wearing a pale pink one in a similar design. She asked wear I got these "delightful dresses" from and I told her that I had made them. She then replied with these exact words. "That's a little bit pretentious if you ask me". Then continued talking as if nothing happened. As the night continued, she made snide remarks at certain things. I could have forgiven her if she'd left it at that.

The next gymnastics lesson came and as you do, I was sat on the toilet when I heard her talking about me to another woman saying stuff like. "They were wearing the most hideous dresses that she brought upon herself to make" and "Who actually eats lobster in this day in age". The last one made did it for me. "The size of the house was so large, it looked like Hogwarts had come to life- bet the husband sells drugs." I burst out of the toilet and she saw me, gulped and took off like a five year old, leaving the other lady behind to look all flustered. I was so astounded that any adult would say that. I have no idea what to do. DH has laughed about it and told me she is pathetic, but we are going to a special class tonight when they open the gym up and let you do whatever, and I know she's going to be there. What the hell should I do???

Sorry but I too want to see the inside of your house. What makes it like a drug dealer's? Do you have ladies in chainmail bikinis dancing in giant champagne glasses in the living room and guys with gold teeth waving guns at you whenever you need a wee? Is your kitchen covered in graffiti with two skinny guys cooking up meth next to the lobster?

Please say yes.

Wear your very best diamonds to the gym and give her a big wink.

Sorry, reading that back it might come across quite bitchy. I meant it in a conspiratorial way.

If I were you, I'd focus your energy on the daughter and forget the mother. Something tells me she may view your house and family as happy respite from her own! She sounds to me like the sort of mother who would have nothing nice to say about anybody and would be very, very critical if her daughter did not meet her idea of beauty, lifestyle or success in the future.

Are either of you new to the area? It sounds to me, either as though she thinks that you have dethroned her, or that she thought she would be queen bee and everyone would envy her, but in fact she envies you.

Empty a sherbet dib dab into a sandwich bag & get DH to pass it to her on the quiet with a theatrical wink while touching his nose & saying something vague like 'here's the ice for your drink you asked for'.

Actually DON'T do that! It'd probably cause a shit storm with police dogs, helicopters, 3am raids.....just imagine him doing it instead. Probably safer.

Can you make me a dress for DD please? I will pay!

If she's treating you like that then she's treating other people like that too. So other people will know her true colours.

Do you have a facebook page for what you make? Etsy?

[keen]

Did you take your interior design inspration from the film Scarface?

Does your DH wear shiny grey suits and red shirts open to the navel, with slicked-back hair?

Do you keep a large handgun on the hall table in case rival gang members come to the door?

Is there a large bowl of cocaine, a mirror, a razor and a rolled up £50 note on your coffee table at all times?

Do the home-made dresses feature gold thread and embroidered Barbie decals?

Did you have the lobster flown in from Maine specially on a private jet?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, YABU.

Does your DH call everyone 'esse / essay' (however you spell it) or 'homes'. Maybe says 'yo!' a lot?

What does a drug dealer's house look like?

And what is a drug dealer's car?

That's fucking hilarious.

I love the idea of a vintage clothes wearing family wafting round the house eating lobster. You sound brilliant. Please be my friend. If your husband does actually sell drugs even better. Can I have a kilo of gak please?

Lol

Kilo of gak?

Why would you want a kilo of a fashion 'guru' who gets women to walk round nekkid?

I agree that you should take the piss....husband to sidle up to her and say 'want any Charlie', then you need to be heard saying 'lobster butties anyone' then you and your husband can smirk at each other looking amused......she will be gutted.

Not the point, but why on earth would be wrong (or right) with eating lobster?

Yes you should take the piss, PPs are right.

Hand make yourself a lobster costume with tiny little syringes coming out of each of the six legs, then wear it to every gym class.

I'm baffled by the "pretentious" comment. My mum made lots of my clothes when I was little, because her mum was a dressmaker so she knew how and it was cheaper than buying them. We were very very far from what anyone would describe as pretentious.

if she pisses you off stick a horses head in her bed and make her an offer she can't refuse.

does your house really look hogwartsesque? i neeeed to see it!!

she was obviously eaten up with jealousy - sad cow.

Apparently I've got a drug dealers car. Its a big black beast with blacked out windows. Invite her round again and I could pop round with a 'delivery'

Saucyjack...genius

i would have thought a drug dealer's house would be more ultramodern ott bling with a cinema room, jacuzzi and a decent alarm system. They would most likely drive a pimped up land rover like the one i see today. Barbie pink it was . i was gutted that all i could see behind the wheel was slender arms , well manicured hands with red nail varnish. The image was all WAG.