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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this lady should help cover the shift

176 replies

mumwhatnothing · 15/02/2015 23:18

I only have 3 weeks left before I start maternity leave, my daughter started school 2 weeks ago and obviously I need to pick her up. On Mondays, I usually work the close shift in a womans clothing store. The woman who works the morning shift refuses to swap for just 3 weeks. She has no school age children and no real commitments. She is just unwilling to help out.

I probably am being unreasonable but it still bugged me.

OP posts:

PtolemysNeedle · 16/02/2015 10:07

The colleague doesn't owe an explanation, and it's not like you'd be able to return the favour if you're going on mat leave. You have no idea what her commitments or reasons are for not wanting to swap, so it is unfair to assume that she is unwilling to help just for the sake of it.

AliceLidl · 16/02/2015 10:12

nature they really don't need an 'excuse' though.

They have lives the same as you do. And you, as their co-worker, have no right at all to demand they give you a 'good enough excuse' to satisfy you and your demands.

They might not have children, but children are not the only commitment people have.

I have to agree with Stay, you sound like you are the stroppy, unreasonable, demanding one.

Ejzuudjej · 16/02/2015 10:15

Yanbu.
I think it's mean not to help out a colleague where possible.

MelonBallersAreStrange · 16/02/2015 10:17

It isn't an emergency situation.

The childcare gap must have been known about for weeks or months. You know your due date, you know when you start maternity leave, you know when your DD starts school, you know when your shifts are.

It is 3 afternoons with plenty of warning, really how hard is that to plan for?

I bet colleague is a bit at you for asking.

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 16/02/2015 10:20

nature how arrogant of you to think you have the right to decide whether someone else has a good reason or not or even that it's any of your business.

I suspect the OP wouldn't have invoked so much ire if it wasn't for her attitude that her colleague has no 'real commitments' because she doesn't have children.

Parents are no more important than non parents and I say that as a parent.

OP this is something you should have had sorted not just assumed that your colleague would cover for you because she has, in your opinion, no real commitments. YABU

youarekiddingme · 16/02/2015 10:21

Look you've admitted YABU to be annoyed, expected it etc.

However, it's 3 shifts, not 3 weeks completely but just 3 days. I think if your absolutely sure she has no commitments (eg classes, regular hobby etc) and this is purely that she won't - I totally understand why your annoyed.

ApocalypseThen · 16/02/2015 10:23

I think it's mean not to help out a colleague where possible.

Why are you assuming that it is possible, even if she wanted to do it?

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 16/02/2015 10:24

Um nature maybe they do have a good reason for not wanting to work. They might not want to tell you what it is however as it might be something personal they don't want to share with work colleagues or maybe they just feel it's none of your bloody business.

If anyone is being stroppy here, it's you.

Staywithme · 16/02/2015 10:24

OP this is something you should have had sorted not just assumed that your colleague would cover for you because she has, in your opinion, no real commitments. YABU

If really does sound as if you, OP, have'nt bothered to make arrangements in all this time. Did you assume your co-worker should just change shifts because you asked and she has no kids? If so I can see why she said no.

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 16/02/2015 10:26

nature read flipchart's third post on this thread. You never know what's going on in people's lives.

MiaowTheCat · 16/02/2015 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Staywithme · 16/02/2015 10:44

if she just wants to sit naked on her sofa eating chocolate on a Monday night

closes curtains

Behindthepaintedgarden · 16/02/2015 10:48

YABU. Just because someone doesn't have children, it doesn't mean they don't have commitments, family, or other good reasons to not want to swap shifts. People who think they can just click their fingers, and childless colleagues will jump to it and stay late, swap shifts, cover Christmas etc do other working mothers no favours whatsoever, and can cause very bad feeling in a workplace.

UptheChimney · 16/02/2015 10:49

She has no school age children and no real commitments

Just for this, YABU.

It's unfortunate she won't do it to help you out, but she's not unreasonable.

SoonToBeSix · 16/02/2015 11:09

Lalyra but your friend could have said sorry no I have an appointment no need to elaborate.

OfaFrenchMind · 16/02/2015 11:29

SoonToBeSix No, she does not have to explain anything.
No is a complete sentence.

SoonToBeSix · 16/02/2015 11:32

It might be a complete sentence but it's a rude one. You can be polite without sharing personal information.

expatinscotland · 16/02/2015 11:34

YABU

ApocalypseThen · 16/02/2015 11:36

She shouldn't need to explain herself though. Whatever reason she had is her own and it's not for the OP to adjudicate.

HouseBaelish · 16/02/2015 11:47

Well no if they did not have a good excuse for me or the manager for not coming into work when asked then they are being unreasonable hmm no one wants to employ a lazy stroppy person who wants certain shifts and time off for no apparent reason do they ? being a parent on the other hand perfectly good excuse for wanting a morning shift and not being able to do the shift they are given because of actual commitments

Yes absolutely. I mean all managers HATE employing people who want to come into work and do the shifts they're contracted to work. They're the absolute worst [eyeroll]

soontobesix ok then. "No I'm sorry" - complete sentence and in no way rude.

RevoltingPeasant · 16/02/2015 11:47

I'm flabbergasted at OP failure to make childcare arrangements - it's not like school starting comes as a massive surprise! Maybe your colleague thinks you just couldn't be arsed to make proper plans and relied on her or someone else at work accommodating you, as that's what it sounds like.

I am a WOHM and made nursery arrangements for DD the week after I found I was pg. No way would I expect colleagues to run around changing their plans to cover my childcare gaps.

Andrewofgg · 16/02/2015 11:51

A few years ago I got scorched if not flamed for suggesting on a similar thread that in the workplace one person's private life did not trump another's - whatever the nature of either's.

Reading this thread I can only assume that a different group of MNers is working this shift!

pinkyredrose · 16/02/2015 11:51

YABU why should she rearrange her life around your lifestyle choices? You sound like you're one of those parents who think their kids come first in any situation.

Purplepoodle · 16/02/2015 11:52

I would be pissed off too especially if she didn't give a reason. Yes you can't expect people to do stuff but it's nice if your work colleague helped out. As others said remember it for the future at some point she will want a favour and guess what u can be busy

gamerchick · 16/02/2015 11:53

Man nature you do actually sound like an employers nightmare. Are you aware your posts make you sound like a bully IRL?

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