To be scared of death?

[dragdownthemoon]

I am terrified of what happens after death. I have nightmares about it, I have panic attacks when I think about it. I don't want to be a ghost cursed to wander the earth alone or trapped in a hell dimension, or just all alone in the dark. No one knows what happens when we die and I am terrified of what will happen. I tried to talk to DH about it, he actually laughed at me and says he has no concept of why on earth I could be bothered by this.

Does anyone else get freaked out by the thought of what happens when we die? I am tormented by it and there is no escape, death is coming to us all

I don't believe in hell as a place of eternal suffering, but I do think that certain people like Hitler, Amin, Gadaffi etc must have to atone for what they did somehow, somewhere. I think God is a forgiving God, but there surely must be sorrow and regret from those people for their evil. Maybe we all have to keep coming back until we finally atone for what we have done in past lives.I dont think we'll ever know, not in this life anyway.

Headinhands..... I was just referring to the bible quotation. It wasn't about anything else.

What makes you think there is that much justice Martha?
I just think wherever we're going we're all going to the same place.
This feeling came to me quite strongly when I was with someone close to me at the end of their life
And I think the simpler we imagine that, the more likely it is to be true

So do you think someone like Mother Theresa will go to the same place as Hitler Juggler.... I just don't think like to think so, unless of course he was truly sorry for what he had done.

Why is it ridiculous to believe in eternal damnation? I mean, I don't think I do as I'm agnostic.

But try telling a young woman banished to a magdalene laundry (and the family who sent her there, and the society who condoned it), for example, that there's no hell.

I don't think they'd believe you. They based their entire lives around the threat of hell. The whole concept of those places was based on atoning for sins that would otherwise (and probably still would, regardless) send you straight to hell.

unless of course he was truly sorry for what he had done

What sort of justice is that? Could you imagine a court using the same model of justice as god?

Judge: "You raped and murdered 20 women, are you sorry?"
Rapist: "Yes"
Judge: "off you pop then"

Imagine one of the women he raped was a shoplifter. Imagine she isn't sorry. According to god's own model of justice she isn't let off, and has to go to hell.

Some of the crimes you find so despicable such as murder were carried out under god's instruction in the old testament, like the slaughter of the women and children of the Amalekites. And according to your god's system they don't need to be sorry because they were doing what god told them to. That's without mentioning the raping that went on. It's one thing to believe in this divine justice thing, but it's very quickly dismantled when you try and match it up with the bible and the portrayal of morality therein.

Sitting here with my mum who is dying. I haven't managed to discuss her feelings about dying because she lost her voice pretty much completely quite a while before the inevitability became clear and she became confused as well ( with flashes of lucidity - her last words were "what time is it" whispered clearly at 935 last night).

The loss of voice so early was unexpected . It saddens me a lot but actually Im pretty sure she knew she was loved and safe and home. We know how she feels about us because she always said.

Mum is sleeping peacefully - a driver keeping her out of pain and stopping the agitation that she had a bit yesterday.

She's not frightened. She's peaceful. We are sad because we will miss her.

Get some help for your anxiety and stop reading / watching scary films and books that feed your fears.

Thinking of you Theas x

Wishing you all as much peace as possible

Thinking of you at this sad time Theas

I think Betrand Russell had it right on this subject. His prose is so. Editorial, it's poetic....

“I believe that when I die I shall rot, and nothing of my ego will survive. I am not young and I love life. But I should scorn to shiver with terror at the thought of annihilation. Happiness is nonetheless true happiness because it must come to an end, nor do thought and love lose their value because they are not everlasting. Many a man has borne himself proudly on the scaffold; surely the same pride should teach us to think truly about man's place in the world. Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cosy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigour, and the great spaces have a splendour of their own.”

I think God is an all loving and all forgiving God and he would not condemn sinners to some eternally sadistic and barbaric path of punishment. However there may be a long path to Heaven where we learn to understand the full repercussions of our time on Earth and seek repentance and forgiveness.

I agree Suggest. He forgives us as we are expected to forgive others.

Might be lovely to think that a wise, just, and loving parent figure (Mother/Father) were steering the whole crazy ship through these stormy seas of life.

However after 50 yrs of occasional consideration on the subject I have personally concluded, with Bertrand Russell (quoted above - thanks Babycham) and many others, that this is unlikely to be the case

Like Stephen Fry too I feel that this viewpoint brings a certain freedom - though I feel I am slightly more positive about our beautiful world than he is (judging from recent famous interview).

But agreed it's certainly a mixed bag.

He forgives us as we are expected to forgive others.

Does god expect us to forgive people who aren't remorseful? If so how is that fair as it's not something he does.

I think God is an all loving and all forgiving God

a god who watches a paedophile rape a child and is not moved to intervene is not loving by any stretch of the word.

Well I wouldn't be able to forgive someone who wasn't remorseful. I'm sorry I don't have all the answers. Who does. I don't think it's fair though to blame God for all the atrocities in the world. They're done by man who has free will.
I don't think it's realistic to think God should interfere in atrocities that aren't of his doing. What would he do? give them a heart attack or something.

I do I don't believe in God in the least, but I do believe we meet our loved ones again when we pass. But not in heaven.

Maybe we all have to keep coming back until we finally atone for what we have done in past lives

What would be the point if we can't remember what we did in a previous life? Hardly a lesson to get it right this time.

Also, would that mean that starving/ill/abused children are being punished for wrong-doing in a previous life?

I still don't see how believers can embrace the whole idea of heaven and yet dismiss the idea of hell just because it doesn't sound very kind. My religious upbringing gave me nothing but fear and anxiety - it was never a comfort.

I can see how it might be good if you've grown up in a belief system where faith is more or less just church-going, praying and being nice to folk. But many Christians would say that being a Christian entails rather more than a spot of church-going, and that you're not at liberty to pick and choose which bits of scripture you're going to accept. They'd have you believe that even if you're saved from eternal damnation, your loved ones might not be - and frankly, the thought of that always made me feel ill.

I have spent a lot of energy (and time, and money) ridding myself of such evil notions. I recognise the OP's anxiety all too well.

You don't forgive people for their sake. marthasmith You forgive people for your own sake. Not forgiving harms you, not them.
Religion is a way of controlling people. It annoys me that children are indoctrinated in any religion. Leave kids alone to seek their own answers instead of telling them your beliefs are right. If your child was brought up by someone in another faith they would believe that version of twaddle.
Being good to save your own soul sounds bloody selfish to me. Be good because you genuinely believe you should be.

Be good because you genuinely believe you should be - yes, with you on that Davsmum - and out of simple empathy with others?

Davsmum.....it was someone a few posts up who mentioned they couldn't forgive if remorse wasn't shown, did you give them that advice too.
Who is being good to "save their soul", I hope you're not referring to me, how can you, you don't know me. But actually being good to people comes naturally to me, how about you. You seem very judgemental.

I have been present at a lot of deaths. Many dying people 'see' relatives who have died before them coming for them when they are close to death. It happens a lot. I find it reassuring to think that when my time comes, someone close to me ( perhaps my mm) will come for me, and guide me to a better place. I do fear death though as even though the majority of deaths I have seen have been painful there are the odd ones which are traumatic or the patient is in awful distress( physical, psychological or spiritual ) which we have not been able to successfully manage.

Sorry I meant to say the majority of deaths I ahve seen have been peaceful, not painful !

I am scared of death if I think about it, so I try not to think about it. As a child my mum was obsessed about it. Her father died of cancer when she was a very young teen then her mum and brother died within two months of each other so my childhood was plagued by her always talking about death.