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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of death?

487 replies

dragdownthemoon · 14/02/2015 02:11

I am terrified of what happens after death. I have nightmares about it, I have panic attacks when I think about it. I don't want to be a ghost cursed to wander the earth alone or trapped in a hell dimension, or just all alone in the dark. No one knows what happens when we die and I am terrified of what will happen. I tried to talk to DH about it, he actually laughed at me and says he has no concept of why on earth I could be bothered by this.

Does anyone else get freaked out by the thought of what happens when we die? I am tormented by it and there is no escape, death is coming to us all

OP posts:
TheChickenSituation · 19/02/2015 04:09

It's a pity that you don't believe because I'm sure you'd be able to convert a few.

At the risk of putting a downer on the headinhands love Grin - no, she wouldn't, because there is no possible way to construct anywhere near as convincing an argument for the existence of (a Christian, Catholic) God. Indeed, any God.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 04:32

That's a matter of opinion I would say.

TheChickenSituation · 19/02/2015 05:21

Happy to be proved wrong, then.

headinhands · 19/02/2015 07:02

What would a convincing argument for the Christian god look like the happy?

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 08:31

I do agree that headinhands makes some eloquent and elegant debate- but she does have rational reasoning on her side that is partly why her argument is so convincing.
Which helps her case enormously.
No disrepect head Wink.

headinhands · 19/02/2015 11:07

None at all big. I've been reminded of a corker from a theist last year when debate got heated 'there's little point even arguing with people who insist on using logic', I roared at that one, and copied and pasted it to my DH.

When I was a Christian I don't remember being able to logically defend it although I am sure I would have thought I was doing so, I think it would have been a case of using emotional pleading like 'look how amazing the world is', and 'we can't just be here for no reason' etc.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 19/02/2015 12:25

That is a good one headinhands - Unmumsnetty LOL Grin

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 18:02

because there is no possible way to construct anywhere near as convincing an argument for the existence of (a Christian, Catholic) God. Indeed, any God.
I very much beg to differ..... Atheists seem to have an issue with believers and spend an awful amount of time and energy trying to convince us that God doesn't exist. It is like they are challenging us to convince them otherwise. If you decide you don't want to believe it is so easy to look for reasons to validate those beliefs. I believe it is even easier to look for reasons to believe.
If we just think about the birth of the Universe...it flashed into being, scientists don't KNOW how that happened. Astrophysicist Robert Jastro, a self proclaimed agnostic stated...."The seed of everything that has happened in the Universe was planted in that first instant, every star, every planet and every living creature in the universe came into being as a result of events that were set into motion in that one moment of that cosmic explosion. We don't KNOW how that happened."
The intelligence behind one pin head of DNA is mind blowing, it contains enough information equilivent to a stack of paper back books that would encircle the earth 5,000 times. That is beyond any intelligence that is humanely possible.
The intelligence in a human brain is awesome, it processes more than a million messages a second. it has the ability to reason, take action, love, relate....
The miracle of birth, our ability to love, our desire for knowledge, the perfect formation of the sun, the moon and the earth, the controlling of the seas by the moon, the earths orbit of the sun. It CANNOT be accidental.
God said....."You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you"
The evidence of God is everywhere.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 18:08

None of that is evidence for god happy- no more than it is evidence for pixies in my fridge.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 18:19

The thing is bigbluestars....... You're not going to get any evidence, not the sort you probably want anyway, you also won't get any evidence that there isn't one. Would it not be best if you kept an open mind then. Not everything has to be seen to be believed.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 18:32

happy- my world would be a nonsense- if I didn't need evidence then I would trust a charleton giiving me snake oil instead of antibiotics, I would put a french dictionary under my kids pillow instead of sending them to school. I would send Nigerian businessmen all my savings in response to an email.

Evidence is a vital tool that allows us to live our life, and not all evidence can be seen, but it can all be quantified or measured- except your "evidence", which isn't really evidence.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 18:39

bigbluestars I haven't got any evidence that there's a God, but people who don't believe haven't got any evidence to say he doesn't exist. Perhaps you don't have any thoughts either way, in that case there's probably not much point in discussing it.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 18:46

happy the burden of proof lies with you. I'm not the one claiming there is a god.

Show me the proof that I don't have pixies living in my fridge. It's up to me to prove that- not you.

( I don't have pixies in my fridge btw)

vdbfamily · 19/02/2015 18:50

I just had something pop up on my FB feed which was a former atheist talking about how he became a Christian.I wont go into all the details but he said he is a lawyer so decided to take 2 years to look at all the evidence. At the end of that time he sat down and used a summary pad to summarise the evidence for and against. His conclusion was that it would take far more faith for him to remain an atheist. There are believe it or not,incredibly intelligent people out there,who have genuinely looked into Christianity from a completely atheist viewpoint and found the evidence compelling. So, to say there isn't any is making out they are all idiots. And the argument that you are only Christian because you are born in the West and were brainwashed at school or by parents is a nonsense. They reckon in a few years that China will have more Christians than anywhere else. My DH went to a private school with no Christian imput and had atheist parents but became a Christian at university and faced alot of family opposition because of it.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 18:58

Sure vdb- the church in the UK is just going strength to strength in the UK, with only 6% of the population regularly going to church.

We can safely say that the UK is an atheist country.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 19:24

www.strangenotions.com/flew/
Antony Flew..... The one time atheist. Hardly a stupid man, he says the burden of proof lies with the atheist. Very interesting.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 20:20

I don't buy it for one second happy.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 20:43

The methodology of skepticism, critical thinking, and logical arguments is what allows us to separate sense from nonsense; when a person abandons that methodology, they abandon any pretense of trying to make sense or engage in a sensible discussion.
If a claimant cannot provide that support, then the default position of disbelief is justified. We can see this principle expressed in the legal system where accused criminals are innocent until proven guilty (innocence is the default position) and the prosecutor has the burden of proving the criminal claims.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 19/02/2015 20:47

I'm the complete opposite OP. I'm really curious as to what happens after we die, the only problem is that there's only one way to find out ......

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 20:49

In what way didn't you "buy" it bigbluestars......unless you give reasons for your statements it sounds a bit childlike. What are you not buying?
That Antony Flew didn't say that. I don't know if you are an atheist or not but if you are, and you dismiss the writings of the most influential atheistic philosophers of the 20th century who finally concluded through the powers of deduction that there was a God, I have to ask what did you mean by that?
If you just throw in quips such as "I don't buy it" and can't back it up with any reasonable argument I cannot take you seriously.
If you are an atheist you're hardly doing them any favours with those kind of remarks.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 20:58

Anthony Flew "changed his mind" as a man with ailing mental faculties- in fact he admits his confusion and before his death made statements to that effect.

It is rather cruel to be using the views of a frail man - and rather clutching at straws.

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 21:22

If his mind was frail when he made those statements then give me a frail mind. His brain must have still been comparatively razor sharp to say the things he did. Cruel to use the views of a frail man? I think it's cruel to dismiss his statements. Who do you think he'd be most displeased by.
As for clutching at straws, isn't it what you are doing, determined to shoot down everything I say.
Apart from that there are many many more accounts of atheists who become believers. (Of more intelligence than you and I) All their old theories and scientific findings just cannot stand up to the evidence off DNA. Why are you so determined to disbelieve., or is it for the sake of an argument for arguments sake.

bigbluestars · 19/02/2015 21:30

happy- I have no respect for religion. It causes more damage than good, promulgates fear and gives power and priviledge to the select few. It poisons the minds of our children and subjugates many.
I want to see religion lose the power it has over society.

SuggestmeaUsername · 19/02/2015 21:40

Of course if there was no religion, there would be no wars, power struggles, subjugation, privilege, damage

Happydaystoytown · 19/02/2015 21:47

I agree, religions are the cause of most of the strife in the world. I certainly don't dispute that. But I don't let these religious nuts who kill in the name of their religion influence my beliefs. They disgust me. In which religion is it right to kill. Children do need some kind of moral guidance though. Without it they'll just go adrift.