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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of death?

487 replies

dragdownthemoon · 14/02/2015 02:11

I am terrified of what happens after death. I have nightmares about it, I have panic attacks when I think about it. I don't want to be a ghost cursed to wander the earth alone or trapped in a hell dimension, or just all alone in the dark. No one knows what happens when we die and I am terrified of what will happen. I tried to talk to DH about it, he actually laughed at me and says he has no concept of why on earth I could be bothered by this.

Does anyone else get freaked out by the thought of what happens when we die? I am tormented by it and there is no escape, death is coming to us all

OP posts:
bigbluestars · 18/02/2015 13:58

martha- you are right, that is not the only conclusion we could draw.

The other is that god is a warped genocidal maniac.

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 13:59

I find that a bit offensive tbh.

bigbluestars · 18/02/2015 14:00

I find religion very offensive- so we have that in common.

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 14:04

In what way is God genocidal?

Davsmum · 18/02/2015 14:15

martha You are talking from the point that God does exist and others are talking from the standpoint that he doesn't.
If you don't believe in him then its easy to argue this made up God would be genocidal if he was there. If you do believe in him then you will be offended because you will hate criticism of your God.
There is no point in even arguing about it.

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 14:23

Well for someone to say he is a warped genocidal maniac that must mean they think he does exist. Either he does or he doesn't but if he doesn't,to give him any sort of description is surely pointless and nonsensical?

Davsmum · 18/02/2015 14:35

No,..You can say that IF he existed - he would be a genocidal maniac. Doesn't mean you think he exists.

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 14:46

Aren't they Stephen Frys words? Bigbluestar said that he was a genocidal maniac, not if he existed.It really doesn't make sense. People naturally rage at all the injustices in the world and the wars and the disasters. If then they want to turn their anger on someone and look for a scapegoat, why not do that, why turn on God who they say doesn't exist, why get angry with something that is non existent. Why even think of him. Surely all the anger should be directed at the ones who cause all the turmoil, not at something who in their eyes is non existent. It just doesn't make sense.

ClockwiseCat · 18/02/2015 14:54

I hope the thread has been helpful OP. Your fears are very real and part of what make you human. We all have to face these thoughts at some stage I think.

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 14:57

If you do believe in him then you will be offended because you will hate criticism of your God.
There is no point in even arguing about it.*
I am actually very tolerant and don't take offense easily. Up until the point when God was referred to as a genocidal maniac it had been an interesting debate, even though it had derailed from the original post(apologies Op).
I didn't think there was any need for such a goady remark as it out of kilter to how everyone else was speaking and a bit nasty. Apart from that it was a remark that Stephen Fry had said as far as I'm aware so was hardly original.

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 15:00

I agree clockwise......I hope it has been helpful to the Op, I and several others have done our best to reassure her, but it unfortunately got derailed.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 18/02/2015 15:35

Well I think those with differing views have also sought to reassure in our own ways, but then the conversation developed as it often can on a MN thread. I think it's been interesting and if people read carefully they can find a wide variety of posts that might be helpful to them, depending on their starting point.
Including such wisdom for life as shown in post by shabbs as one example

headinhands · 18/02/2015 16:41

in what way is god genocidal

In that he ordered the mass slaughter of numerous tribes. God is responsible for 2,417,889 deaths in the bible and that doesn't even include drowning the whole world.

Although bizarrely the Israelites lost one particular battle in the opening of the book of Judges because the opposition had chariots fitted with iron and apparently chariots fitted with iron are just too awesome for god.

headinhands · 18/02/2015 16:44

to give him any sort of description is surely pointless and nonsensical?

Not at all if you are referring to a specific god, are you not? If you say 'the god of the bible is loving and treats everyone equally' then we can show you instances, lots of instances, where the god portrayed in the bible is behaving despicably. Like killing all the first born children of the Egyptians in an act of what could only be described as terrorism.

Davsmum · 18/02/2015 17:28

Although bizarrely the Israelites lost one particular battle in the opening of the book of Judges because the opposition had chariots fitted with iron and apparently chariots fitted with iron are just too awesome for god

Ha ha. Love it!

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 17:54

lots of instances, where the god portrayed in the bible is behaving despicably. Like killing all the first born children of the Egyptians in an act of what could only be described as terrorism......... I watched a programme on TV recently where a lot of that "being responsible" for killing all those people were discounted, particularly the killing of first born Egyptions.
It seems to be that you're basing your disbelief in God from tracts from the bible, which is so easily misinterpreted.

bigbluestars · 18/02/2015 18:02

So we shouldn't rely on the bible martha- or only the good bits?

Cherry picking somewhat.

headinhands · 18/02/2015 18:04

which is so easily misinterpreted

How is this easily misinterpreted?

1 Samuel 15:2- “This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.

headinhands · 18/02/2015 18:16

So you saw a programme that has allowed you to disregard/reinterpret what the bible states and what Christians were previously happy to accept. What's actually happening there is that your 21st century morals find god's actions offensive, so you, and many Christians are rewriting the bible, this is great of course. How long until you reinterpret what Jesus said so that he didn't actually mean he loves you or wants to forgive you? See, we only reinterpret the bits we have come to find yucky, the cutesy bits get to stay unchallenged.

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 18:17

So because of this does it make you hate a "non existent* or is it that you do believe there is a God but you don't like what he did. I will also say again that the bible is open to being misinterpreted, it was written by man,it's not infallible.

marthasmith · 18/02/2015 18:18

"non existent God"

bigbluestars · 18/02/2015 18:21

I don't hate god, because he doesn't exist.

It is pretty foul that those who believe are happy to overlook his atrocities.

headinhands · 18/02/2015 18:22

basing your disbelief in god from tracts from the bible

Wouldn't an infinitely wise god convey a clearer message, what with it being so important!. One that doesn't clearly portray him as a petty, vicious and spiteful dictator? Imagine if the instructions for something like CPR were as confusing and led you to believe the opposite of that the professionals would need you to do in that situation.

headinhands · 18/02/2015 18:24

No, it doesn't make me hate him, it shows me he is made up, because he is morally inferior to me, so unless I am kinder than god, the god in the bible can't be real. I can't get excited about a god that I am kinder than.

headinhands · 18/02/2015 18:25

you don't like what he did

Do you?

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