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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by my 6yo dd receiving a valentine gift at school today?

311 replies

ineverthoughtidsaythis · 13/02/2015 21:12

Handed to her today by a boy in her class. It slightly embarrassed and confused her and we just think she's far too young. Her excellent school has drummed into the kids that there are no boyfriends for some time yet and she's a great little girl who clearly feels that she can't chat to us about it because it's not quite right. Both me and dh are cross. Feel free to tell us to lighten up.

OP posts:
iklboo · 13/02/2015 21:33

DS (9) has had 'girlfriends' since he was 3. He is particularly fond of redheads. He got a card from his girlfriend today. At Christmas - before they were going steady - she put a hand made loom band in his favourite colours in a Christmas card with strict instructions not to open it at school.

I'm not shopping for a mother of the bride outfit just yet.

Only1scoop · 13/02/2015 21:33

Beachy....love logGrin

That is certainly one treasured memory for you all. Love it!!

WipsGlitter · 13/02/2015 21:34

But it is innocent at that age. DS yd me xx "fancied him" but that was it. A bit of gentle teasing and a chance to talk about boyfriend / girlfriend stuff. He's 6 btw.

usualsuspect333 · 13/02/2015 21:34

It's just a thing to kids, Valentines Day. Like Halloween or Easter.

Don't sweat it, OP. Or your DDs childhood is gonna be one long bundle of angst.

Topseyt · 13/02/2015 21:35

That particular friendship was as transient as any other my daughter had when she was that age.

kinkyfuckery · 13/02/2015 21:35

My 6yo has had many 'boyfriends' since starting nursery at 3. And she's even still a virgin!!

Iggly · 13/02/2015 21:35

They don't think as adults do. A boyfriend is just someone special. That's it. They're kids! You're projecting your way of thinking onto this.

FlabbyMummy · 13/02/2015 21:35

My toddler got a heart shaped biscuit and I just thought it cute tbh.

amistillsexy · 13/02/2015 21:36

Op, just out of interest, has your daughter watched many of the Disney movies with princesses in them, you know, the ones' where the pretty girls spend the whole time attracting, enjoying the company of and finally marrying a boyfriend? Have you bought her the dresses, encouraged her to plait her hair to look like that one out of Frozen? Had a party in the theme of?

Because I bet you have done at least some of this, and if you have YABVVVU, because you can't encourage it through Disney and then get dismayed when she acts it out. That's the reason she's interested in 'boyfriends', I'll put money on it.

PacificDogwood · 13/02/2015 21:39

Op, I'm with you on this one.

It is deeply odd that v young children should have anything at all to do with Valentine's Day.

They should have friends of both genders without anybody going 'Oh, do you fancy her/him?' - I detest that.

I remember making VD hearts and cards in the US in the early 70s, really enjoying the crafting side of it, only to be totally confused by then being told I was to give it to 'my Valentine' Hmm

It's an invented holiday for courting adults and I wish children's friendships simply had nothing to do with it at all.

GokTwo · 13/02/2015 21:40

Don't stress about it op. I teach this age group and there were more than a few cards and small gifts given today. It's all very innocent and sweet. Nobody encourages or discourages it particularly.

Rowanhart · 13/02/2015 21:42

Grin @ wips

I think the only thing to do is send DH down to gates to have serious word with the lad. Taking liberties!

Only1scoop · 13/02/2015 21:42

And keep a close eye....no behind the trike sheds....

Breezy1985 · 13/02/2015 21:42
Biscuit
samithesausage · 13/02/2015 21:42

My son (8) took in a card, keyring and purse for his "girlfriend" (8) yesterday. She gave him a home-made brownie, badge and handmade card in return.
Apparently all the girls surrounded her and watched her unwrap the presents!
It's a bit of a fun thing really. She's really good at football so that's why he likes her.
He did get me to buy the presents though Hmm, I suspect I'll be choosing his valentine's presents when he's in his 30s!

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2015 21:43

Well my DS isn't a courting adult and he went out today and spent his own money on his girlfriend. He got her a card and chocolates and put them in a nice gift bag.

He is 13 though. I think that's ok. Smile I hope her parents aren't too cross. Wink

Alisvolatpropiis · 13/02/2015 21:44

usual has the measure of it.

Yabu

MaryBerrysLostCherry · 13/02/2015 21:45

If it was a dildo yanbu. Otherwise I'd say a touch precious.

PacificDogwood · 13/02/2015 21:46

I am sure usual IS indeed right which is why I am keeping my opinion to myself in front of the DSs.

Having said that, DS1(almost 12) was very 'wtf?' when he was given a card at school today Grin

UncleT · 13/02/2015 21:47

Irritated?? What the hell is wrong with you?? A child gave her a gift.

Ineedtimeoff · 13/02/2015 21:48

beachyhead I love 'here's your love log, Mary'
very sweet

I think we need a love heart emotion for valentines day

DoJo · 13/02/2015 21:50

she's a great little girl who clearly feels that she can't chat to us about it because it's not quite right.

Can you elaborate on this? It seems very odd that she is unable to talk to you about something if it has upset her, and that is nothing to do with the school or the boy concerned.

sweetsomethings · 13/02/2015 21:53

Omg i worry about the way your mind works OP. Its a present off a little boy her age they are just friends jeezzz!

revealall · 13/02/2015 21:59

Mmm. In my experience Valentines are given freely from playgroup up to about year 2 because it's quite sweet. We would get/ send one to the only two girls in our social group from example. Friendship cards essentially.

There is then a period of nothing because the children involved work out it might mean something else although arty type girls do like making cards I think ( and sending cards is fun). Then by year 8 it's is all on again in a slightly competivitve way till they get themselves a serious relationship at 16 or17 or actually properly fancy someone.
YABU.

AuntieMaggie · 13/02/2015 22:01

yabu - in some countries it's about celebration of all love and friendship and 8 usually get cards/greetings from friends from those countries. stop making this into something it's not. He wanted to do something nice for your dd nothing more. I too am more concerned she feels she can't tall to you about it and thinks it's wrong!