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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by my 6yo dd receiving a valentine gift at school today?

311 replies

ineverthoughtidsaythis · 13/02/2015 21:12

Handed to her today by a boy in her class. It slightly embarrassed and confused her and we just think she's far too young. Her excellent school has drummed into the kids that there are no boyfriends for some time yet and she's a great little girl who clearly feels that she can't chat to us about it because it's not quite right. Both me and dh are cross. Feel free to tell us to lighten up.

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 14/02/2015 18:39

I think I'd married 3 different boys by the time I was 6. We had a wedding bit in our home corner at school. I am perfectly normal (although went through a slutty stage in my early twenties). What do you think getting a valentine is going to do to her?

Madamecastafiore · 14/02/2015 18:41

Maybe teaching your daughter to accept gifts in good grace would go quite far in terms of her social development.

Ds gave a sister of his best friend a little necklace. She has AS and he has made her day. He did it because he has a kind heart and wanted to make her happy because she has a crush on him. Wouldn't you prefer your daughter to thin like this rather than be suspicious of valentines presents.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/02/2015 18:41

Truffel all this feminist nonsense, I love giving gifts on valentines day and receiving them, that's the fun of it. Again you are imposing your adult agenda onto young innocent children. For them, Valentines day is a bit of fun, I made my dad a valentines day card when I was 7, does not mean I fancy him and want to have a sexual relationship with him, it was fun, and I loved him as my dad, so I sent him one. No its not about being meek and accepting, op dd could have told the boy no thank you, or left it at school. He gave her a gift in innocence, no different to giving a Christmas or Easter gift to a boy or girl school friend.

SirVixofVixHall · 14/02/2015 18:41

She's 6. He's hardly taking her on a weekend to Brighton. Why put such an adult spin on a sweet gesture? My 7 year old would have loved a card.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/02/2015 18:43

The boy did not know op dd was uncomfortable, mabey teach your dd to say no thank you to gifts she does not want. I think that would be rude and unkind tbh.

FightOrFlight · 14/02/2015 18:44

I had principles back then truffle

Now I'd bonk anyone for a packet of Revels Sad

trufflesnout · 14/02/2015 18:45

Maybe teaching your daughter to accept gifts in good grace would go quite far in terms of her social development.

She does, don't worry. I will just encourage her not to accept gifts from boys she has never met.

feminist nonsense

trufflesnout · 14/02/2015 18:46

My OH loves Revels but hates the coffee ones. What's the sodding point in buying Revels then? Just get Maltesers and mix them up with some Counters, jesus.

FightOrFlight · 14/02/2015 18:48

Thing is, I don't even eat Revels now I'm vegan.

I could sniff them though ...

Aeroflotgirl · 14/02/2015 18:49

what 6 year old boys, it would be different if a teenage boy had given it. What Truffel if your dd shock horror does want to accept gifts from school friends she does not know. Just because you accept a gift in good grace, does not mean you leave go of your principles and make yourself easy to the opposite sex or succumbing to male dominance. Its a box of choccies, not a chastity belt.

trufflesnout · 14/02/2015 18:50

Vegan Revels. Gap in the market

pilates · 14/02/2015 18:52

"She does, don't worry. I will just encourage her not to accept gifts from boys she has never met".

The boy concerned was in the Op's DD's class so hardly a stranger Confused.

trufflesnout · 14/02/2015 18:53

It moved away from the OP somewhat pilates but iirc the OP said her DD had had no interaction with this boy before.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/02/2015 18:57

No interaction with a child whose class you've been in for a year and a half? Weird.

FightOrFlight · 14/02/2015 18:58

Blimey, how big is her class? Shock

trufflesnout · 14/02/2015 18:59

I dunno I may have even made that up.

trufflesnout · 14/02/2015 19:00

"not part of her friendship circle" or something. I don't care. Anything to make a 6 yo boy feel miserable, hey Aero Grin

hamdangle · 14/02/2015 19:03

I can't believe some of the posts on here. I actually do remember being 6 and I also remember my first 'crush' at about 5. It wasn't because he was 'good at climbing trees' or 'the best at football' or any of those crappy reasons people are ascribing to their kids, it was because I thought he was bloody beautiful! I remember he touched my hand when we were both getting a pencil out of the stationery trolley and my stomach did a somersault.

I'm sure there are kids who get to 8 or 9 still not seeing the difference between boys and girls but plenty start having feelings about the opposite sex at that age, or the same sex for that matter.

that's why it's so important that your kids feel like they can talk to you about how they are feeling and not feel like they are bad or wrong because of your ideas about keeping them 'innocent' forever.

littlemonkeyface · 14/02/2015 19:09

hamdangle I believe you must be misremembering or have been a very early developer. I don't think what you describe represents the typical 6 year old.

Whoishillgirl · 14/02/2015 19:10

I had no idea valentines was a thing for little kids now. I think that sucks! Not because of the girlfriend /boyfriend thing ( I only stopped crying when I started infant school because the teacher let me sit next to a boy I had a thing for. I used to chase him around the playground trying to get a kiss. Kids do these things!). But because it divides kids into the popular and unpopular ones really early. I hate the whole prom thing that schools have adopted from America for that reason too. A friend said one of the little boys at his son's primary school was found crying in the playground as everyone had a date for the school prom but him. I really think schools should know better than to have this kinda crap. When I was a teenager I was always so glad we didn't have the whole prom thing here.

Whoishillgirl · 14/02/2015 19:11

Well little monkey I must be a freak too! Or maybe you are just wrong...

littlemonkeyface · 14/02/2015 19:20

Whoishillgirl I never implied that early developers are freaks, just that they do not represent the typical average child.

Mehitabel6 · 14/02/2015 19:23

You are still looking at as if from an older child, Whoishillgirl-and this was not imposed from above.

Whoishillgirl · 14/02/2015 19:34

I don't think it is about being an early developer, as a previous poster said, little kids mimic adult behaviours. That is just an evolved learning thing. Little kids get crushes. They are not the same as adult crushes.
Meh, I already said I don't agree with valentines day for little kids.

diddl · 14/02/2015 19:55

I get where you are coming from OP.

It's the singling out of your daughter by the other child.

I would be wondering where the idea had come from to give just one friend a present.