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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by my 6yo dd receiving a valentine gift at school today?

311 replies

ineverthoughtidsaythis · 13/02/2015 21:12

Handed to her today by a boy in her class. It slightly embarrassed and confused her and we just think she's far too young. Her excellent school has drummed into the kids that there are no boyfriends for some time yet and she's a great little girl who clearly feels that she can't chat to us about it because it's not quite right. Both me and dh are cross. Feel free to tell us to lighten up.

OP posts:
PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:22

Really?

Unbelievable.

Well actually it is believable, sad but believable.

Only1scoop · 13/02/2015 21:23

Wisps Grin

BingBong36 · 13/02/2015 21:23

Cannot actually believe I am reading this esp as it's made you cross !!

It's cute!! Do not make a big deal out of this otherwise your daughter will never ever want to open up to you!!

You and your husband are being totally unreasonable!!!

SpringTimeIsComing · 13/02/2015 21:23

Has the school not "drummed into them" no girlfriends either? I find your post a bit odd as your DD is 6. I'm sat here wondering what else "isn't quite right" in your small world OP.

ajandjjmum · 13/02/2015 21:24

The panda DD received for Valentine's Day when she was 6 is still remembered with a smile.

Edenviolet · 13/02/2015 21:24

YABU

Dd2 gave out little heart shaped chocolates to her class today as she insisted on it as told me she loves them all!

Altinkum · 13/02/2015 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovechristmas1 · 13/02/2015 21:24

how are you going to deal with her as a pre teen/teen if your reaction is like this

you and DH are cross,she will be scared to death to tell you anything as she gets older

flipchart · 13/02/2015 21:25

Ha ha ha ha ha!

amistillsexy · 13/02/2015 21:25

she's a great little girl who clearly feels that she can't chat to us about it because it's not quite right
Is this something she's said to you, OP, or is she reacting against your over-reaction and unsure about how to approach you about this?
If you're trying to 'chat to' her, and she's clamming up, you're going in too hard, and she's scared of saying the wrong thing to you. Not a situation I'd want to put my 6 year old in, tbh, especially around boyfriends and presents.
As others have said, how's this going to pan out when she's a teenager and things are happening to her that she does need to talk about? By that time she'll have learned to well and truly clam up around you and you'll be none the wiser, because she'll have become adept at hiding everything from you, for fear of your reaction.

Also, for what it's worth, I'd be very concerned if my kids' school was 'drumming it into them' that they couldn't have boyfriends. It suggests to me that there is something very wrong going on there. Most schools don't have to mention it.

I don't think your DD was embarrassed and confused by the gift, more likely by your reaction by it. Why would a 6 year old be embarrassed that a friend had given her a present?

SpringTimeIsComing · 13/02/2015 21:26

I'm assuming it wasn't a gimp mask and crotchless panties

Grin. I'd like to know what the gift was now that it's upset the OP so much.

Bowlersarm · 13/02/2015 21:26

Good luck with great communication with your Dd as she gets older. Not a chance of that happening, it seems.

AddToBasket · 13/02/2015 21:27

omg, her teen years are going to be hell.

Bizarre, the pair of you.

Only1scoop · 13/02/2015 21:28

Was it a little heart lollipop or a little teddy....how terrible if it was ....how awful Hmm

CocktailQueen · 13/02/2015 21:28

Yanbu. My DS - age 7 - made a valentine card for a girl at school and have it to her. He has always liked her. Her mum was delighted and has asked DS round for tea again :)

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2015 21:29

That poor boy. Sad

DioneTheDiabolist · 13/02/2015 21:29

YABU. What's "not quite right" about this is that your 6yo feels she can't talk to her parents.Sad

What exactly is it about one 6yo giving another 6yo a present that is making you so cross OP?Confused

Original poster
ineverthoughtidsaythis · 13/02/2015 21:29

Eeesh. We've been told. Clearly we should lighten up. But doesn't anyone think that 6yo kids should be thinking about their little friends as just that rather than boyfriends or girlfriends. They're little for such a short time and there's plenty of time for all that later. I think our problem is that this little situation has been going on for some time and it's forcing her to think about the concept of a boyfriend. And do be assured that the gift was received graciously and he walked away happy!

OP posts:
Wantsunshine · 13/02/2015 21:30

Why are the school drumming into them no boy/girl friends allowed? What kind of school have you sent your child to? Is it one where they expect them to be pregnant by 12

Topseyt · 13/02/2015 21:31

What on earth is there to be all het up over? Confused

When my eldest daughter (now almost 20) was still at the local pre-school she was great friends with a particular little boy. She used to come home afterwards, nick all of my tea towels, wrap her favourite toys in them and proudly inform me that these were wedding presents for the pair of them. BlushGrin

It was totally innocent and didn't bother me at all. She never gave him any of the pressies in the tea towels, and she now cracks up laughing if I ever remind her of it.

Lighten up.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 13/02/2015 21:31

Her "excellent school" sounds completely bonkers... WTF does "no boyfriends" mean pre-puberty? That must be hell for the girls who like playing football at lunch...

Whilst valentines day for anything but romantic love is personally extremely ick, it's quite normal for a lot of people, YABU for not accepting that the boy just has a different view of what valentines day is.

beachyhead · 13/02/2015 21:31

My ds, many years ago made a gift for his 'girlfriend' in nursery. It was a large stick from the garden, decorated lavishly. He took it in and presented it in front of the whole class (and many parents) with the words 'Here's your love log, Mary'. GrinGrin

Only1scoop · 13/02/2015 21:31

No it's innocent for Goodness sake....they are bloody 6 years old Confused

I'd go be cross about something else.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:32

???? is it your daughter thinking this or you? very strange.

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2015 21:32

They are just thinking about their friends

On Valentine's day they give gifts to their best friends, who are usually of the opposite sex.

That's it, nothing more and nothing less.

It's you and your DH who are overthinking this with adult minds.

Try to think of it from the mind of a 6 year old infant school child.

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