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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL locking kids bedroom door at sleepovers

159 replies

Lima1 · 10/02/2015 19:54

My kids are due to stay at PIL one night this weekend. They stay about 3/4 times a year and look forward to it. I was telling DS1 about it this evening and it came up in conversation that MIL locks them into their bedroom (all three in one room) at night in case they sleepwalk and fall down the stairs. DS1 is 5 so I took it with a pinch of salt as I thought maybe she just pretended she was doing it to stop them coming out of the room. I asked DD (7) later and she told me the same, she says she hears the key turning in the lock and if she needs to go to the bathroom she calls MIL to come up and heard the lock opening. I will ask MIL in a nice way if she does this as she may be only pretending. But DD says she hears the lock turning and I don't see why she would give the excuse of possible sleep walking unless she was really locking them in. Aibu to be furious about this? Their room is upstairs in a dormer while PIL's bedroom is downstairs. I would be so worried if there was a fire and the kids couldn't get out or any number of emergencies.

OP posts:
SixImpossible · 10/02/2015 19:56

I would absolutely not be OK with this. Not at all.

Are your dc sleepwalkers?

TidyDancer · 10/02/2015 19:56

Yanbu at all. I would be seriously angry about this and want some assurances it would never happen again before I even considered letting DCs stay there.

WillBeatFebruaryBlues · 10/02/2015 19:57

Totally un acceptable. There is no way on earth I would permit this.

SixImpossible · 10/02/2015 19:57

And my kids used to be sleepwalkers!

CookieLady · 10/02/2015 19:57

YANBU. It's incredibly dangerous.

Iggly · 10/02/2015 19:58

Yanbu. Bloody hell!!!

rollmeover · 10/02/2015 19:58

Oh my, i feel sick even reading this. No way would my kids be going to PIL without cast iron guarantee that this did not happen.

Ruperta · 10/02/2015 19:59

That is terrible - I would be having stern words. Sleepover cancelled unless I could be very sure this would not be happening again. When are you going to speak to her?

catzpyjamas · 10/02/2015 20:00

YANBU, I'd be mad as hell if anyone locked my DC in a room.
I'd ask carefully just in case the DCs got it wrong (but it doesn't sound like it). Do any of them have a history of sleepwalking? Even if they do, there is no way they should be locked up!

TheMoa · 10/02/2015 20:01

God, we don't even have locks on bedroom doors in our own house.

I wouldn't be shy about bringing it up, and refusing to let it happen again.

What does your husband think of what his parents are doing?

BitOfAFixerUpper · 10/02/2015 20:02

I would ask her first, but if it's true I'd be really really not happy... For the reasons you give, and I'd also wonder what other wtf judgments they make.

MorelliOrRanger · 10/02/2015 20:04

No, definitely unacceptable.

Frusso · 10/02/2015 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DioneTheDiabolist · 10/02/2015 20:06

YANBU OP. Tell your DH to check this and if it's true, to tell his mother that this is unsafe and never do it again.

Purplehonesty · 10/02/2015 20:07

That's madness. Just tell mil it's not okay due to fire danger.
What a strange thing to do!

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 10/02/2015 20:07

no way would I let them sleep there again. That is very dangerous.

namechangeafternamechange · 10/02/2015 20:08

Bloody hell this is absolutely not right! I feel furious for you and your dc's, this is actually abusive (even if she thinks she's doing the right thing).

My DC's would not be sleeping over there again if she actually does lock the door (not pretend to lock it)

DartmoorDoughnut · 10/02/2015 20:10

YANBU, they're not even next door! What if one of them were ill and they couldn't wake up your IL's by shouting? Makes my tummy go queasy Hmm

whothehellknows · 10/02/2015 20:10

YANBU. My oldest is a sleepwalker, and when she goes to sleepovers I've known parents to get panicky about it and make them all sleep downstairs with baby gates on the doors "just in case". It cracks me up, but I understand that they're just frightened about the unfamiliar.

ClashCityRocker · 10/02/2015 20:10

I'm normally the most chilled out person in the world - but I'd go shitnuts.

BrieAndChilli · 10/02/2015 20:11

It's not ok but if she is genuinely worried about them falling down the stairs them could
You get her a pressure gate for the stairs? Means kids
Can get out if necessary but no tumbles in the night if they get up
For loo etx

angelohsodelight · 10/02/2015 20:12

My kids would never sleep there with a locked door. Yanbu

Original poster
Lima1 · 10/02/2015 20:13

Thanks that's what I thought. No history of sleepwalking and sure couldn't she put a chair or something in front of the bedroom door. I asked DH but he said he didn't know anything about it. His parents are loons and he is afraid if them and will be shi**ing himself asking them. When DS2 was a baby I discovered they put him in the travel cot with a double duvet folder over twice as the mattress and DS1 slept face down as a baby. I had to start bringing my mattress over and getting DH to put it in the cot. They hit the roof if you question them cos sure haven't they reared 3 kids of their own. They offered to mind the kids in their house or ours, I'm thinking now ill have them come here as I can't trust them not to lock them in, she hates me and would probably do it just to defy me.

OP posts:
thewomaninwhite · 10/02/2015 20:13

That is so dangerous and anti fire safety advice. I would be asking outright immediately too.

lomega · 10/02/2015 20:16

why on earth would she think this was ok? presumably she didn't think you'd find out. I'd ask her outright and say that if she insists on locking your kids into a room, then they don't stay over unsupervised, ever.