...to ask MN-ers NOT to join in this glorification of domestic abuse? (contains spoilers)

[Floundering]

Fifty Shades of Shite

Can't believe the naivety and abuse deniers on here and amongst my friends.

DV campaigners such as Womens Aid & National Centre for Domestic Violence are urging people not to see this film.

It is not "just a piece of fun" it normalises abusive, controlling relationships as sexy, and it really bothers me so many women are colluding in supporting such crap that could hurt other more vulnerable women.

The BDSM community are frothing too as if done properly between 2 consenting adults with lots of planning, mutual respect and lots of affection and downtime after it can, for some, apparently be mindblowing. ( doesn't lift my skirt but respect those who do enjoy) this is not portrayed safely in this film.

If I didn't explain people will keep saying my dh rapes me I apologise for the detail.

Surely the only way to understand the motivations of a domination is to speak to one you can't speculate

pineapple I said "talk about" not "talk to". I don't need to talk to rapists to talk about rape, I don't need to talk to drunk drivers to talk about drunk driving, etc.

Hamiltoes you say hopefully they wouldn't tell them it's fine and they should get help but on here a number of people have said it is fine. You didn't say people need or should get help to deal with those thoughts.

As I have said there is a difference in No. There is a stern No which actually means NO. And then there is a laughing no when my wife giggles a little and instead of trying to stop sex with hands/body/a look she carrys on and still enjoying it

That's the difference between a no and NO that I spoke of earlier.

Yes thats true flora but you can't understand the motivations of doing these acts without talking to those that do it because you can't read their minds

I'm not interested in the special feelings of any particular random who strays onto the thread for a wank. If I did want to speak to another person who dominates, it wouldn't be on here. You seem to assume I haven't though despite the fact that I have said I have.

I can still talk with others about the dangers or harms of the motivation and to what extent it is influenced by society etc. I am very confident onering would add no value.

Fine but don't try and guess as to their motivations and want to discuss these motivations as you can't possibly know without speaking to them

I see you have judge a strangers character based on never truly knowing them and assume he is probably misogynistic and abusive.

I never called what I did in the bedroom rape that was other posters I said I fantasised about but I haven't role-played it

Because of.course we can truly judge everyone based on one comment not on actual real personalities

I'm judging him on what he said here. I don't need to make assumptions, he's made it clear what he is.

One comment isn't who someone is I'm sure you would hate to be judged on a single.comment you may no longer be proud of. I would hope not to be judged based on one comment

Funny that. I work part-time so my wife could develop her career. I look after our two kids and have lots of women friends from the school gates.

So will you then assume he is abusive verbally and physically to his wife as well and ignore her boundaries and then be your typical abusive dom which you hate

Not answering my.point as to whether you think he is actually abusive

pineapple you said: I never say no in bdsm or at the beginning so no I don't role-play rape

But earlier you said a number of times that you say no but your H knows when you mean it. This is just one example:

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pineappleshortbread Wed 11-Feb-15 10:01:22
It's not hard to come up with a safe word it just feels silly to me and I don't like it not because it's too vanilla as you out it as I enjoy vanilla sex in which I may say I no I don't really mean. It's just what works for me and in our relationship it is not needed
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How is that not role-playing rape? Wasn't it also you who said your H knows your boundaries better than you do?