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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have zero patience with fussy/picky/faddy eaters?

249 replies

JudgeyHotPants · 09/02/2015 16:37

I'm not talking about people with genuine medical conditions that prevent them eating certain foods such as celiacs, but those with a list as long as their arm of various foods that they "don't like" and who try and dictate where you should eat when you go out with them in a group, won't budge and insist on everyone else making allowances to suit their fussiness and then sulk when you don't. Pushing their food around their places passive aggressively with faces like slapped arses.

You might wonder why it bothers me so much but I have several family members like is and eating out with them is a nightmare. We're talking the kind of people who will only eat plain meat and two veg type of stuff and won't touch anything "fancy" or spicey or seasoned with herbs or god forbid anything "foreign". So when you go anywhere with them your restricted to cheap and chearful pub chains or fast food places. When they go abroad they even seak out those hideous places that do full English breakfasts and egg and chips! I find it rude and childish.

I have zero tolerance for this kind of behaviour and am often made out go be the bad guy when I push to go somewhere decent for a meal. But they way I see it your not ill, you don't have an intolerance, your just being a twat. Just shut up and eat it!

AIBU?

OP posts:
GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 09/02/2015 21:45

Is there evidence that these kinds of food aversions exist in countries where food is scarce?

MrsCs · 09/02/2015 21:46

No I think using the phrase is weird, doesn't make the person weird. If it's a texture issue that makes more sense. I'm not sure I get the link with sight though. If you don't like the look of a food it is most likely because you've tasted it and didn't like it.

I have no interest in learning about 'selective eating disorder' thanks.

NickiFury · 09/02/2015 21:47

I don't know, but with food being scarce how could it be tested? There wouldn't be enough varieties available to be rejected would there?

NickiFury · 09/02/2015 21:48

"I have no interest in learning about selective eating disorder thanks".

Grin Well thats that then.

SurlyCue · 09/02/2015 21:52

Is there evidence that these kinds of food aversions exist in countries where food is scarce?

Do you actually care or are you goading? Because if you care this is probably not the best place to find evidence of "food aversions" in countries where food is scarce. This is mumsnet- not a research institute.

Nanny0gg · 09/02/2015 21:54

I have zero tolerance for this kind of behaviour and am often made out go be the bad guy when I push to go somewhere decent for a meal. But they way I see it your not ill, you don't have an intolerance, your just being a twat. Just shut up and eat it!

ODFOD.

MrsCs · 09/02/2015 21:55

I think there is a relevant point being made by Goodbye. No we cannot answer like researchers but there is perhaps a need to remember that food is essentially the fuel to allow our bodies to perform. Not many of us on here face genuine hunger so we perhaps take food for granted.

NickiFury · 09/02/2015 21:57

I can't imagine there'd be many opportunities to pick out kidney beans at "Chimichangas" in countries with major food shortages so unfortunately we are not able to confirm that theory one way or another.

SurlyCue · 09/02/2015 21:58

If you don't like the look of a food it is most likely because you've tasted it and didn't like it.

No, something can just look revolting. I have never tasted dog shit but i know i wouldnt like it Wink

MrsCs · 09/02/2015 21:59

Fair point Surly lol

SurlyCue · 09/02/2015 22:03

There are many illnesses/conditions and circumstances that are treated, facilitated, accomodated in the UK that arent recognised or treated in poorer countries. Perhaps they dont really exist in the UK either?

bubalou · 09/02/2015 22:08

The thing is I understand people not liking stuff. I'm allergic to shellfish and don't like mushrooms and trust me when I say this seems to rule out a lot of some menus!

At the moment I'm also pregnant so usual favourites like bree and pate and medium rare steak also are ruled out!

However I always find something I like wherever I go.

As I said about sil - I think it was the face and the picking and the moaning. I wanting to shove the kidney beans down her fucking throat !!!

It was obviously just for attention as there were 50 things on the menu that didn't contain the kidney beans that she 'hates'!!! Confused

Aussiemum78 · 09/02/2015 22:10

Yanbu.

Dd has a friend like this. Everything smothered in tomato sauce, refuses to eat any vegetables, an absolutely atrocious diet. The thing is, I don't believe for a second she doesn't like healthy food, she just has indulgent parents and has since a baby been accustomed to sugary food.

The parents will never fix it because it's too hard. It's socially limiting for her though as she's a pita to feed on play dates.

I don't even think fussy eaters exist in places where food is scarce.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 09/02/2015 22:11

There are many illnesses/conditions and circumstances that are treated, facilitated, accomodated in the UK that arent recognised or treated in poorer countries. Perhaps they dont really exist in the UK either?

Well, if the lack of treatment doesn't result in death or reduced quality of life, then probably it doesn't.

I'm not being goady, by the way. I googled my question and couldn't find an answer.

I can't imagine there'd be many opportunities to pick out kidney beans at "Chimichangas" in countries with major food shortages so unfortunately we are not able to confirm that theory one way or another.

I don't understand what this means. Do you mean that people are too hungry to pick our the kidney beans, or that there are no chimichangas?

Aussiemum78 · 09/02/2015 22:17

Can you imagine a kid who was malnourished saying "no I hate rice, I'll just die".

Seriously rich kid, stfu and eat what you are given. Parents, your kid is not "super special" stop indulging their every whim.

Dd has right of veto over a few foods she hates, but if that became 20 foods she hates she would be told to get over it.

SnookyPooky · 09/02/2015 22:17

Oh dear, I'm fussy/picky.
I don't eat steak but love roast beef. I don't eat pork chops but love bacon and gammon.
Also love chicken, cheese, desserts.
I won't eat anything on the bone and loathe lamb, even the smell of it cooking, yuk.
Only eat tuna or cod, no other fish. No seafood.
I don't like spicy food AT ALL so don't eat curry, even a mild one. In a Chinese I will have Sweet and Sour only. I'd rather eat my own arm than sushi. I can tolerate Mexican, just.

Having said all that, I like Cypriot, Greek and Italian food very much and always find something on the menu to suit me, even if it is only a salad, which is fine. I've lived in Cyprus for 11 years, there is some amazing food here, even for picky me.
Love veg.

I don't push my fussiness on others, I just wouldn't go if it was Indian or Sushi for example. Why spend money on something I won't enjoy.
Most people don't even notice, it's a non issue because I don't make a fuss about my fussiness.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 09/02/2015 22:19

I can't imagine there'd be many opportunities to pick out kidney beans at "Chimichangas" in countries with major food shortages so unfortunately we are not able to confirm that theory one way or another.

NickiFury, if people who are hungry do not have any incidence of sensory issues (I say if because you say there is no way to confirm one way or another), does it follow that people with sensory issues are, loosely speaking, privileged?

MrsDeVere · 09/02/2015 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SurlyCue · 09/02/2015 22:23

Well, if the lack of treatment doesn't result in death or reduced quality of life, then probably it doesn't.

It does result in a reduced quality of life for me. Does it exist now? In fact i dont care if you think it exists. I hardly need another person telling me i'm making it up do I.

bubalou · 09/02/2015 22:24

Oh god fussy child eaters are the worst! Confused

DS doesn't like broccoli or cauliflower - fair enough. He eats loads of other veg, fruit and salad. He also loves hummus, fiah, cous cous,
Olives etc and will try any food once.

His cousin who is now 9 (DS is 6) only ate 'party food' from ages 2-7. No exaggeration. Literally no cooked meals - she 'had' to feed him mini sausages, crisps, cold pizza etc or he would refuse to eat it.

But it was her that had let him. Shock that she also couldn't get him to eat properly pretty much all the way through to even now.

She always says its him and is one of those that blames the child but she can't lie to me, I've been around since he was born and know exactly what she does and why he is like he is.

Because she created it by giving him his own way.

I was witnessed him refusing to eat a tomato pasta bake.

Not even 2 minutes later she make him a pot noodle and let him eat that. Confused

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 09/02/2015 22:26

Of course food aversions will exsist in countries where food is scarce.

Ok, where?

SurlyCue · 09/02/2015 22:30

Same MrsDV food doesnt interest me. Eating is a chore tbh.

My dog leaves the green bits of his food in his dish. I dont think he does it to get attention or make my life more awkward. At a guess i imagine he just doesnt like them. Or maybe it doesnt exist and i'm imagining the cat batting them out of the dish and chasing them round the kitchen. Hmm

Sallystyle · 09/02/2015 22:32

My son will just throw up if I get him to eat something he doesn't like.

All I care about right now is that he eats enough to survive and thrive. And the saying that kids won't go to bed hungry? well he would, either through not eating or throwing up the food he is trying to eat.

I get sick of reading about how fussy eaters are made. Funnily enough my other children aren't even half as bad as him. I am sure some are made but the children with genuine issues seem to always get lumped in with them.

Sallystyle · 09/02/2015 22:34

I made it sound like all my children are fussy eaters, not just him.

I have another one who is going through a fussy stage but the others eat well.

NickiFury · 09/02/2015 22:35

I am sorry that you can't/won't understand what I am saying goodbye but I think I have been pretty clear and honestly can't be bothered to explain to you again, I imagine that most of the information you seek is available if you google so why don't you crack on with that? I agree with a pp that you appear to be quite goady and its my personal policy not to respond to that. I am sure you understand.