Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have zero patience with fussy/picky/faddy eaters?

249 replies

JudgeyHotPants · 09/02/2015 16:37

I'm not talking about people with genuine medical conditions that prevent them eating certain foods such as celiacs, but those with a list as long as their arm of various foods that they "don't like" and who try and dictate where you should eat when you go out with them in a group, won't budge and insist on everyone else making allowances to suit their fussiness and then sulk when you don't. Pushing their food around their places passive aggressively with faces like slapped arses.

You might wonder why it bothers me so much but I have several family members like is and eating out with them is a nightmare. We're talking the kind of people who will only eat plain meat and two veg type of stuff and won't touch anything "fancy" or spicey or seasoned with herbs or god forbid anything "foreign". So when you go anywhere with them your restricted to cheap and chearful pub chains or fast food places. When they go abroad they even seak out those hideous places that do full English breakfasts and egg and chips! I find it rude and childish.

I have zero tolerance for this kind of behaviour and am often made out go be the bad guy when I push to go somewhere decent for a meal. But they way I see it your not ill, you don't have an intolerance, your just being a twat. Just shut up and eat it!

AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 09/02/2015 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roussette · 09/02/2015 19:15

I feel for those with intolerances who can't help it, as fussy eaters spoil things for them because intolerances can't be helped but fussy eaters are just fussy eaters!

Those sort who just don't fancy something or they won't try something new absolutely do my head in. So rigid. I wouldn't mind if they wanted good plain food but more often than not they want burgers, chips and crap food and not decent plain food and to be honest I don't have a heck of a lot in common with those who don't love food and eat with relish and love trying new things and enjoy good ingredients done in a different way.

OTheHugeManatee · 09/02/2015 19:25

SIL is like this. She came for lung once and, because she didn't like the spag Bol DH was making brought her own meal...

...which was lasagna Hmm Confused

Stillyummy · 09/02/2015 19:26

Picky eating is the biggest turn off ever. The number of people it has taken off my hot list is crazy!

MrsDeVere · 09/02/2015 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stillwishihadabs · 09/02/2015 19:27

I can't stand fussiness, it is just really self centred in an adult (btw I don't mean for eg not liking curry or sea food or something else that's a clear category of food. I mean more how things are prepared or presented or always wanting to substitute something for something else (oh does it have to come with vegetable X ? can you do it with vegetable Y instead- it's just discourteous to the chef who has thought about the balance of flavours). Think about all those on this planet without enough to eat.

skylark2 · 09/02/2015 19:27

I do sometimes wonder what happens when a very picky child has a parent who feels like this. Do they starve, do they eat when they're hungry, or does the parent give in?

I mean, it must happen sometimes, mustn't it?

Personally I have family members who have completely different meal tastes from me and DH, and we simply don't go out for meals with them. We do other stuff instead.

CatThiefKeith · 09/02/2015 19:27

Manatee I'm not sure I would fancy lung either !Wink

OTheHugeManatee · 09/02/2015 19:28

LUNCH not lung Grin

Stillwishihadabs · 09/02/2015 19:29

I agree silly mummy one potential bf ordered steak in a seafood restaurant by the sea. Reader I stopped taking his calls.

SurlyCue · 09/02/2015 19:31

As usual *mrsDV is spot on.

I'm fussy. There are reasons but i dont explain them to people as i just about understand them myself and believe me i have tormented myself for years trying to get past them. I spent my childhood being known as "the fussy one" i was bullied, by adults as well as children, because of it. It has been a source of huge hurt to me. Quite frankly ive stopped giving a fuck what other people think about what I put in my own mouth. I dont ask anyone else to eat it or even watch me eat it. If you dont want to be near me when i'm eating then dont. I have plenty of friends who couldnt give a toss if i ate wood shavings with a chalk paint dressing and a side of marbles. Theyre there for my company, not to watch what i eat.

maddening · 09/02/2015 19:35

Yabu - Going out to eat is meant to be fun for all involved - why on earth you would expect someone you are meant to want to spend time with so much you are going out to dinner to sit there with nothing that they enjoy to eat to appease you then you must be shit to go out for dinner with.

Tinkerball · 09/02/2015 19:35

We all like different things why should food be any different? It's called having different tastes, you OP are lucky if you like most things, there's loads of foods I don't like no matter how many times I've tried them, to call people who don't like certain foods - when that is all it is - fussy is wrong. I would never dictate what other people eat and generally can find something to eat on most menus.

Gasosaurus · 09/02/2015 19:36

Crying about lung!!!!!!

maddening · 09/02/2015 19:36

Still wish - a host who does not consider their guests is a shit host imo.

Sallystyle · 09/02/2015 19:42

I have no patience for people who don't understand that I can't help my fussy eating and that it effects my life much more negatively than it effects theirs. (Right use of effect there? always get them muddled up)

I don't want to be this way.

Granted, I don't go to a restaurant if I don't like any of the food instead of asking people to change where they want to eat, but I am sick of all the posters looking down their noses at us fussy eaters.

Alisvolatpropiis · 09/02/2015 19:43

Grin @ MrsD.

I just want the slate thing to die a death. Also the wooden boards.

jamie oliver offers a DIY KFC in one of his more recent books. No, just no. Generally speaking if I fancy fried chicken, I do not fancy cooking or spending more to cook it myself than I would do buying a KFC.

I like cooking, I've certainly enjoyed food more since I got into it.

My brother has a very limited palate, he was indulged more than I was as a child in that regard. He's late teens now and everything he eats is essentially a variant of the same meal. It's fine going out to eat with him, I don't insist he comes to a Thai restaurant with me. I like say, Nandos, he doesn't like Thai. As much as I would like him to be a bit more adventurous, there is no fun in getting on his back about it.

Mrsjayy · 09/02/2015 19:43

Bugger going to your house I draw the line at lung Grin

Mrsjayy · 09/02/2015 19:46

Jamie meals in minutes on good food does me in he serves sharing food on boards and what looks like a basin are people meant to faceplant and trough Confused

FesterAddams · 09/02/2015 19:47

StopTheFog
Butter typically contains little lactose, and clarified butter basically none, so it's possible that the restaurant genuinely thought it would be OK.
(My DP has lactose intolerance so I know that it's a pain and you have my sympathies - they put milk products in all kinds of things so it's surprisingly hard to avoid).

Stillwishihadabs · 09/02/2015 19:52

I was talking about restaurants. I would never serve some one something I thought they wouldn't enjoy. But at the same time I would for example choose veg which compliment the meal.

AnnieMorel · 09/02/2015 19:56

Hmm, not sure where I stand on this one.

I have a bil who is really fussy & childish about food. In a restaurant, it's not normally a problem although he likes to go to 'safe' ones only. It's when they come for dinner that it becomes slightly exasperating, trying to plan a nice meal that's really very plain. He won't eat onion, garlic, mushrooms, any cheese that's not cheddar, spice, chilli or rice. Oh, and fish or seafood unless it's from a fish & chip shop Grin. We would never just serve him something he hated & expect him to 'just eat it' though.

My dh is a fantastic cook so it frustrates him a bit but I feel a bit sorry for my bil, who is definitely a product of his upbringing. His mother has made all of her children neurotic in some way.

DinoMight · 09/02/2015 20:05

Seriously OP, your posts make you sound like you're a bolshy twat with little tolerance or understanding of anyone else.

And a teensy bit goady. - check you out, having a pop at anyone disagreeing with you, how very

twat

grannytomine · 09/02/2015 20:07

People can have real phobias about food. When my DD was admitted to hospital for quite a serious op the doctor asked her if she had any worries. She said she did, she was worried they would make her eat peas. The doctor couldn't keep her fact straight but honestly my DD has a phobia about them. I don't understand it but I guess that is phobias for you.

DD assured doctor she would rather die than be fed peas. She had such an issue about it I was allowed to use the ward kitchen and prepare her food to ensure no peas touched anything.

She is quite normal otherwise.

My phobia is heights which people understand more.

NickiFury · 09/02/2015 20:10

I think that many "fussy" eaters probably have sensory issues around food, not all obviously, but quite a few, for whatever reason. After all no one WANTS to be fearful of food surely? Personally I wouldn't want to be the kind of person who was cross and judgmental at that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread