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AIBU?

To think its perfectly fine for my sis to take our kids overnight. Alone.

134 replies

macnab · 06/02/2015 23:02

My sis is in her 30s. A responsible mature girl who is a primary school teacher and therefore commands a huge group of kids every day.

She is dating my DH brother and they pretty much live together at this stage (her house). She asked if kids could have a sleepover tonight as she'd not seen them for a while. They are 4 & 6 and adore her. All happy. Till DH realised just now that his brother isn't there tonight (he has to be somewhere early tomorrow so easier for him to stay home). DH is furious. Says that he's shocked that I habe no problem with our kids staying with a girl on her own overnight "without any male presence"

WTF

I should add (and have pointed out to him) that I've often stayed here alone with the kids and its never been an issue but he's apparently too shocked, and annoyed with me, to be inclined to discuss it.

He's being a twunt isn't he.

OP posts:

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KissesBreakingWave · 07/02/2015 02:54

Entirely being a twunt.

I mean, the one time I had my nephew as unupervised male presence I gave him back to my sister having taught him to sing The Cat's Got No Hair On and I bought him a nerf gun.

Because, from the point of view of a small boy, that's what uncles are FOR. His aunt isn't half as irresponsible and disruptive and therefore no fun at all.

JeanSeberg · 07/02/2015 03:35

How did you end up marrying and having kids with this sexist arsehole?

MiscellaneousAssortment · 07/02/2015 03:47

Wow poor man, he must find it hard to walk down the street seeing all those bitch single mothers. How does he not throw up on their faces?

Who do they think they are? Proper actual people? Ugh.

Your H hates women.

Arsenic · 07/02/2015 04:05

"without any male presence" is a direct quote isn't it?

I'm surprised that you feel smug G&T sipping is the appropriate response, TBH.

You might want to make emergency plans to sabotage your DSis's relationship with his DBro. At least that way you won't risk being doubly related to him.

Arsenic · 07/02/2015 04:06

Misc is right; Your H hates women.

Oldmanriver · 07/02/2015 04:52

So. Your two kids are out of the house being cared for by a responsible adult? Any man worth his salt would make sure you had more entertaining things to do than post on Mumsnet.

Wolfbasher · 07/02/2015 05:43

Is this really not a reverse-isn post? I can imagine someone feeling like this about their kids being looked after by a man 'with no female presence'. Not saying it's right, but I can imagine it quite easily - whereas the other way round it's just bonkers.

Which is interesting in itself.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 07/02/2015 06:03

I wouldnt discuss it with him further.
I think raising it again will give him the opportunity to be unpleasant and unreasonable

Aebj · 07/02/2015 06:15

I would go round to your sisters without the kids. Leave them at home with dh. That way you still have a child free night and a good chat over a glass ( or 3) of wine with her. Knowing your children are safe being with a male!!!

Hakluyt · 07/02/2015 06:30

Has to be a reverse, surely?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 07/02/2015 06:34

This is complete weird. I know there are people who feel that men shouldn't babysit alone (wrongly obviously) but I've never heard of someone who thinks that about women. What on earth is his reasoning?

EMS23 · 07/02/2015 06:53

Your sister is dating your BIL?! That's really interesting! Not sure why but I imagine it's quite unusual.
Nice at Xmas, family occasions etc - less people to invite.

FWIW - my DH might have something to say if he thought our DC's were being looked after by 2 people and it turned out it was only one. I doubt he'd care wether it was a man or woman, that comment was a bit odd.
Maybe the family thing is pertinent in that when he thought his DBro was there, he was more comfortable with it but now it's 'just' your DSis, he's not so happy.
My DH can be a bit superior about his family's childcare skills vs my family.

KatieKaye · 07/02/2015 07:01

that is really, really peculiar of your DH.

Since when is "a male presence" required in order to look after children? By his logic all men should stay at home with the children while women go out to work.

I'm older than he is and quite astounded by this terribly strange attitude. it's one I've never come across before. I can only think it is symbolic of some deeper fear and/or resentment towards your DSis. or that he wants to break up the relationship between her and his DBro.

quietlysuggests · 07/02/2015 07:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mehitabel6 · 07/02/2015 07:26

Don't even discuss such a ridiculous thing with him- just laugh and say 'you can't be serious!' And change the subject.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 07/02/2015 07:38

What is a man going to do during a burglary anyway? My brother was home during a burglary and he just got beaten up

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 07/02/2015 07:40

I'd have to bring it up again just to find out his reasons. Children are out the house so you can have a row...

Idefix · 07/02/2015 07:44

Yanbu your DH sounds like a total twunt

MeeWhoo · 07/02/2015 07:50

Does he think a gang of evil men with machine guns are going to turn up at the door and BIL is goung to kick their arse Bruce Lee style? 'Cos that is the only trend of thought I can think of that would fit in with what he said...

ROARmeow · 07/02/2015 07:50

Is it more a case of your DH not wanting you to have a childfree night when he's at work? Is he jealous, or worried about what fun you'll have on your own (or with someone else).

Either way, he sounds like a dickhead.

MissDuke · 07/02/2015 07:59

As someone up thread already said, the saddest thing here is the smug G&T drinking :-( I don't think you have much to be smug about I am afraid.

Hakluyt · 07/02/2015 08:06

" my DH might have something to say if he thought our DC's were being looked after by 2 people and it turned out it was only one."

Why?

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Tinkerball · 07/02/2015 08:06

Why are you sitting feeling smug? This is so random it can only be the tip if the ice berg.

carabos · 07/02/2015 08:08

Idiot. What does he think happens at school where "a male presence" these days at primary level is about as rare as rocking horse shit?

He's pretending to be unable to discuss it because he knows how ridiculous he's being and that his ridiculous statement fell out of his mouth without any filter being applied. It's very concerning that a man of his age would think it at all however.

What job does he do? Are there any unsupervised women involved? Seriously, is he from anotherplanet culture?

BoffinMum · 07/02/2015 08:14

Do you live in Saudi Arabia?

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